8/28/2005

Up A Lazy Thought Process

I was cleaning the bathroom mirror this morning and the most fascinating thought entered my mind. I wondered nearly aloud, whether maids (as in those you hire when you're too lazy to clean your own bathroom mirror) are as diligent in their home cleaning habits when they're not being paid to do a good job.

I thought of myself (not a first) and realized I am a decision maker in my job and therefore am practically unable to make a decision at home no matter how grave the necessity of my involvment. Should I have the barbecue chips or the regular?

So my question has some significance, some relevance does it not? Would I ever find an answer to this fascinating bedazzling quandry?

And then the answer came to me!

Nobody cares, least of all me.

8/22/2005

SFU

No, it doesn't stand for So Fuck You but it could! Effing Alan Ball.

Six Feet Under. Again. The finale to the series. Yeah, thass right, thass what I'm talkin' about.

Alan, what was with that future flash forward tacked on to the end of the last episode? I was already crying and ready for Claire to head off into her future. She would have been okay too. But nooooo, you had to make us watch each of the main characters unconvincingly aged and pulled years into the future by their ridiculous hair and make up to learn what kills them one by one.

Boredom. That's what kills most of them especially poor Brenda. Looks like Billy just talked her right to death and kept on a talkin'. A slew of unspectacular deaths.

What can it all mean? Am I going to die too? Will my life ultimately be insignificant? Nah, that kind of crap only happens on TV.

Team Nancy: World Police

Ever watched Nancy Grace on CNN's Headline News Channel? You know Nance. She's the one who cures cancer, runs the U. N. and basically restores peace and freedom to those who need it around the world every night from her little square office on the magic talking box.

Nancy blares on at the Americas nightly because talking REALLY LOUD seems to work for her. Although she does tackle important issues, clearly has a heart and wants justice, she still manages to rankle my snarky little self more often than not.

Tonight for instance, she went on at length about all the foul ups committed by the officials in Aruba over the missing teenager investigation. Actually, it's day 86 of her going off at length, sneering and snorting over the way things are handled there. Nancy punches on about Aruban law and what it permits and what it doesn't.

That's right Nancy. It's Aruba! They have their own laws. It's not America! In your spare time away from the show, do you feel as passionately about the way Aruba is run? Are you an advocate for changing Aruban law or do you just like to talk REALLY LOUD at work?

Nancy also has mini me types from such esteemed and hallowed halls as Court TV and other such fake channels that mostly agree with her and spend no small amount of time bolstering each other's egos. Everyone agrees that if this was happening in America and not Aruba, things would be different. Wow! Court TV for president!

Another segment of the show dealt with the fact that Olivia Newton John's partner of 9 years has been reported missing. Apparently he's been missing for some weeks. Nancy, Sluggo and the gang are concerned! Why would this man's ex-wife have been the one to call him in as missing? Did she speak with Olivia? Where was Olivia? Touring? Olivia should have used her celebrity to call attention to the fact that he was missing. Bla bla bla bla bla bla friggin' bla.

Shut up and let the chips fall where they may people. Expose injustices, lobby for change, go get your brows reshaped but please Nancy please - stop talking unless you have something to say that's constructive and useful.

8/17/2005

Me Against The Music

Possible reasons poor Madonna / Hodonna was thrown from her horsie:

Terrorists.

Pushed by husband and / or kids.

Began to sing and startled the horse.

8/05/2005

Narm Is The New Black

Nate.

For nearly 5 whole seasons of Six Feet Under, Nate's been whinging his way through life completely absorbed in himself and mewling about whether he'll find happiness. Of course, the only way to know if you'll find happiness is to have sex with some of the most loathsome and annoying creatures on earth and whine some more. I know it's worked for me to a degree.

As cold as it may make me sound, when Nate let out his unexpected cry of Narm and hit the floor, I practically squealed with delight, not something I'm generally known to do (at least I hope not). I'm not sure if I was more pleased that it looked to be the end of him (I could spoil it but won't) or that Brenda would find out what he was up to with ferret-y Maggie. No offense, but I would have narmed myself had I just finished heaving myself off of her too.

If you aren't caught up on your Six Feet Under, you may be at a loss to know just what the hell I'm on about or you can simply accept that I may be off my meds. Like poor Billy. Billy. Hmph. The show is all about Claire (and me) anyway.

Narm.