1/23/2010

I'm Not A Haitir

Seeing Stevie Wonder manning the phones on the Haiti telethon last night made me realize how lucky I am. I have a pen, he didn't.

21 comments:

Evil Genius said...

You feigned wanting to make a donation just so you could take advantage of the opportunity of throwing back at him "I just called to say I love you" and then hung up, didn't you?

Doc said...

Dear, sweet Jesus, thank you for letting Dale come back so I can finally quit holding my breath. (wheeze)

You rascal!

I knew you couldn't stay away! I just knew that, at some point in time, you would find something that you couldn't pass up the chance to throw your diamond-honed wit against. I wouldn't have guessed that it would be Stevie Wonder, but my crystal ball is in the shop.

Are you back, or are you back for at least one post a month? I need to know as I have to set up my vacation schedule at work this year and I'm sorry to say that a lot of it depends on you.

I have been suffering through dark, dreary days without my regular dose of Dale. If it wasn't for Skyler's Dad, I would have thrown myself in front of the snow plough long ago. Every morsal of food I eat tastes like a bagel served by an elderly Korean lady and I've found it hard to sleep anymore without dreams of doing a job peopled by hard-working Canadians who hate to ride the elevator with other people. Flannery has made it a point to eliminate Canadian bacon from our regular shopping list as it frequently sends me into day-long crying jags. I try to keep it together in front of the family, but the charity that funds my visits to Dr. Hill is soon going to fold due to lack of funds.

In short, we miss you.

The above was a lame attempt to cajole you into bringing a bit of you back, with a dash of guilt thrown in. Your sister is a nun, so I'm willing to bet you've heard of guilt.

Doc

Doc said...

P.S.- I was checking your site meter on Google and it turns out that Obama has been gauging his policies by your blog, so be careful what you say.

Doc

Cormac Brown said...

What Doc said.

Unknown said...

Oh damn...I have missed you! snort, snort..

Dale said...

I wish I'd thought of it Evil Genius, it's just my style.

Dear Doc, Jesus had nothing do to with it but I'm glad you can get off the puffer now. I'm here for you and Obama! I also appreciate comments much longer than my post :-) You're the best! That goes for the rest of you too. But mostly Doc.

Thank you for the succinct yet loaded comment Cormac Brown!

Snorting is underrated Melly. Snort.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are so lucky that Stevie didn't see you laughing at his penlessness.

And what Doc said too! Cause I always do what Doc says.

Anonymous said...

What Doc says. And Jesus. And Obama. Man, you HAVE to come back now.

Dale said...

If he could see me through your eyes Barbara. Or Doc's!

I don't know Suze, as I say over and over, Jesus is just alright with me.

Allison said...

Well said, Doc!

You are missed, Dale. As are stories of your comical neighbours. How's Honeypot? ;)

Ed & Jeanne said...

Could he hurt himself with one? Perhaps he has a special piano keyboard that converts into sentences...

Dread Pirate Jessica said...

You know what disturbs me about the Haiti telethon? The idea that someone who hasn't already sent some charitable organization donation money on the basis of understanding that kajillions of Haitians have got killed or maimed or orphaned is going to finally do so because George Fucking Clooney or some other piece of ass who's paid millions of dollars to pretend to be someone else tells them to.

It's just fucking wierd.

Sans Pantaloons said...

Forty Six.

Forty Sex.

Good Times!

Helene said...

Hello there Mr Evil Genius! hehehe

X. Dell said...

Stevie and I are equally adept at reading our own handwriting. So you won't see me with a pen either.

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

Anonymous said...

因為她,你變得冷漠不已。曾經我也不想去抓姦
因為我還存有著絲絲希望你回頭,所以一直不願意抓姦
然而兩年過去,你以為我不敢抓姦而誇張甚至與她同居在外。
我真的不敢抓姦嗎?我只是不願意;我想,該是抓姦的時候了,
打開這扇門,是該面對現實的時候了...

Anonymous said...

通姦是一種慣性行為,如果沒有給予教訓,
那麼很可能會有第二次、第三次的通姦行為產生!
如果面對伴侶通姦,睜一隻眼閉一隻眼等於是默許伴侶通姦的推手!
想要解決通姦問題您需要及時行動,不要讓通姦問題持續困擾著您,
請讓我們給您最專業的協助!

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...