1/23/2010

I'm Not A Haitir

Seeing Stevie Wonder manning the phones on the Haiti telethon last night made me realize how lucky I am. I have a pen, he didn't.

34 comments:

Evil Genius said...

You feigned wanting to make a donation just so you could take advantage of the opportunity of throwing back at him "I just called to say I love you" and then hung up, didn't you?

Doc said...

Dear, sweet Jesus, thank you for letting Dale come back so I can finally quit holding my breath. (wheeze)

You rascal!

I knew you couldn't stay away! I just knew that, at some point in time, you would find something that you couldn't pass up the chance to throw your diamond-honed wit against. I wouldn't have guessed that it would be Stevie Wonder, but my crystal ball is in the shop.

Are you back, or are you back for at least one post a month? I need to know as I have to set up my vacation schedule at work this year and I'm sorry to say that a lot of it depends on you.

I have been suffering through dark, dreary days without my regular dose of Dale. If it wasn't for Skyler's Dad, I would have thrown myself in front of the snow plough long ago. Every morsal of food I eat tastes like a bagel served by an elderly Korean lady and I've found it hard to sleep anymore without dreams of doing a job peopled by hard-working Canadians who hate to ride the elevator with other people. Flannery has made it a point to eliminate Canadian bacon from our regular shopping list as it frequently sends me into day-long crying jags. I try to keep it together in front of the family, but the charity that funds my visits to Dr. Hill is soon going to fold due to lack of funds.

In short, we miss you.

The above was a lame attempt to cajole you into bringing a bit of you back, with a dash of guilt thrown in. Your sister is a nun, so I'm willing to bet you've heard of guilt.

Doc

Doc said...

P.S.- I was checking your site meter on Google and it turns out that Obama has been gauging his policies by your blog, so be careful what you say.

Doc

Cormac Brown said...

What Doc said.

Melly/Melody/or Mel said...

Oh damn...I have missed you! snort, snort..

Dale said...

I wish I'd thought of it Evil Genius, it's just my style.

Dear Doc, Jesus had nothing do to with it but I'm glad you can get off the puffer now. I'm here for you and Obama! I also appreciate comments much longer than my post :-) You're the best! That goes for the rest of you too. But mostly Doc.

Thank you for the succinct yet loaded comment Cormac Brown!

Snorting is underrated Melly. Snort.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You are so lucky that Stevie didn't see you laughing at his penlessness.

And what Doc said too! Cause I always do what Doc says.

Suze said...

What Doc says. And Jesus. And Obama. Man, you HAVE to come back now.

Dale said...

If he could see me through your eyes Barbara. Or Doc's!

I don't know Suze, as I say over and over, Jesus is just alright with me.

Allison said...

Well said, Doc!

You are missed, Dale. As are stories of your comical neighbours. How's Honeypot? ;)

VE said...

Could he hurt himself with one? Perhaps he has a special piano keyboard that converts into sentences...

Mistress La Spliffe said...

You know what disturbs me about the Haiti telethon? The idea that someone who hasn't already sent some charitable organization donation money on the basis of understanding that kajillions of Haitians have got killed or maimed or orphaned is going to finally do so because George Fucking Clooney or some other piece of ass who's paid millions of dollars to pretend to be someone else tells them to.

It's just fucking wierd.

Sans Pantaloons said...

Forty Six.

Forty Sex.

Good Times!

Helene said...

Hello there Mr Evil Genius! hehehe

オテモヤン said...

オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
逆援助
出張ホスト
手コキ
おっぱい
フェラチオ
中出し
セックス
デリヘル
包茎
逆援
性欲

X. Dell said...

Stevie and I are equally adept at reading our own handwriting. So you won't see me with a pen either.

cc22 said...

情趣,情趣用品,巴黎,

SM,G點,按摩棒,
變頻跳蛋,
跳蛋,無線跳蛋,

飛機杯,數位按摩棒,
充氣娃娃,
自慰套,自慰套,
情趣娃娃,自慰器,
電動自慰器,充氣娃娃,
角色扮演,

潤滑液,
情趣禮物,情趣玩具,
威而柔,逼真按摩棒,
情人趣味千奈,情人趣味用品,

Mike said...

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Best,

Mike

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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更遑論是大陸抓姦的困難度;
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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

知道他有了外遇
面對他的低聲下氣妳冷嘲熱諷、無理取鬧
妳瘋狂似的大吵大鬧
甚至到他的公司去亂、向他的親友抱怨、向鄰居們哭訴…
妳把他的外遇鬧的人盡皆知
最後,妳把他的愧疚消耗殆盡…
最後,妳把他想要回頭的念頭打消…
最後,妳自己把他推向外遇的第三者身邊…

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

好友說懷疑老公外遇,於是我建議她從手機、發票、電腦中進行外遇調查
果不其然,從發票上的外遇調查行動上發現他們常去的溫泉旅店!
由於好友的求助,我和老公刻意製造在與對方在溫泉旅店巧遇的假象,
再由老公出面去好言相勸,也因此順利化解了可能的婚姻危機!
有所懷疑就要趕快進行外遇調查,不然事態可能會更加嚴重;
外遇調查真的需要技巧,後續解決更需要訣竅,
幸好朋友及時進行外遇調查與補救動作,成功化解了婚姻危機!

Anonymous said...

因為她,你變得冷漠不已。曾經我也不想去抓姦
因為我還存有著絲絲希望你回頭,所以一直不願意抓姦
然而兩年過去,你以為我不敢抓姦而誇張甚至與她同居在外。
我真的不敢抓姦嗎?我只是不願意;我想,該是抓姦的時候了,
打開這扇門,是該面對現實的時候了...

Anonymous said...

他在工作上的自信讓她深深被吸引,他的追求更讓她沒半刻猶豫的說yes!
後來她才知道,她只是他的婚外情
即使如此,她還是愛他,因為他告訴她,婚外情只是短暫的,不久的將來,他會離婚!
就這樣,她甘於婚外情的第三者角色,癡癡盼望著男人會離婚。
然而幾年過去,男人找到了另外更年輕貌美的女人,
展開了他另一段美麗的婚外情
而她這段過去式婚外情的心酸,卻連向別人抱怨的資格都沒有...

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

通姦是一種慣性行為,如果沒有給予教訓,
那麼很可能會有第二次、第三次的通姦行為產生!
如果面對伴侶通姦,睜一隻眼閉一隻眼等於是默許伴侶通姦的推手!
想要解決通姦問題您需要及時行動,不要讓通姦問題持續困擾著您,
請讓我們給您最專業的協助!

Anonymous said...

她知道老公有了外遇,即使內心是想要感情挽回的,
但是擺脫不了受害者的角色,她動輒吵鬧、刻薄的言語...
這些與感情挽回背道而馳的動作讓老公原本愧疚的感覺逐漸消磨!
孩子也想要幫助媽媽感情挽回,但是媽媽總是以受害者自居,
想要感情挽回、但是內心與表現卻總是充滿憤怒!
最後,這段婚姻當然無法感情挽回,終究以離婚收場...

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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以您的權益為優先、以您的考量為首要,
把您的問題交給誠信專業優質徵信社

Anonymous said...

就像許多外遇故事一樣
男人有了外遇想要離婚,但是女人死不放手
所以他藉故發揮、所以她不甘示弱
他總是說這樣不可理喻的女人俗不可耐才讓他想要離婚
她總是說這樣背棄婚姻的男人她絕對不會離婚讓他們好過

記憶中我從沒有過快樂的童年、幸福的家庭
父親在家的時候總是爭執不斷
父親離家的時候母親總是數落不斷

我總是想,為什麼不離婚
這樣的婚姻意義何在?

母親認為離婚就是輸了
但是她不知道,自己身陷在漩渦中無法掙脫...