You Had Me At Don't Forget To Spit On That Before You Stick It In Me

As I wend my way though the films with major acting nods in this year’s Oscar race, I slow down to reflect on a few of the nominated performances.

Heath Ledger – How hard can it be to mumble and not show any emotion for a couple of hours? I do it every day!

Felicity Huffman – Is it really that tough to take an ugly girl and make her pretend she’s a pre-op transsexual? Picture Dennis Quaid in that mousy wig and you've got yourself an acting coup.

Catherine Keener & Philip Seymour Hoffman in The 40 Year Old Pithy Homosexual or Stand By Your Man – loved you both even if I’m not sure which one was the top.

Amy Adams – why you’re just as cute as a little Junebug!! Plus you sort of remind me of my favourite Tanya.

Terrence Howard – Hustle and Flow this. You’ve got that weird eye thing going on so I’m scared to watch your movie so far.

Jake Gyllenhaal -- Only supporting actor? Give the boy his break back. It’s his mountain that gets broke in’nt?