5/16/2009

On The Skids


My pal Vicky left me a message the other day and the call was coming from inside the sexy bastion of bulk known as Costco. While meandering through, she began to realize just how much being inside a Costco was like spending time (and money) at a casino.

There are no windows or clocks so you never know what time of day it is, the people wander about in varying stages of decay, some in their Sunday best while others favour buffet pants as they flirt with the food sample presenters. There are high stakes involved in figuring out which gamble will provide the biggest payout - the case of Vaseline Intensive Care or that sexy skid of hammers.

She kept me laughing for a good couple of minutes and I went back to work. Thankfully, a follow up message pulled me away from work again.

Having cut her losses after ponying up a couple of hundred bucks, she came to the realization that like a casino, at Costco 'the house always wins'.

The next time I need a 3 minute routine on anything, she'll be my first call. I hope she picks up.

17 comments:

Les Becker said...

Damn, and we have NO Costco in this freaking town...

I love the casino - not for gambling, but for the bells, and lights, and, yeah, for the varying stages of decay... something tells me it's cheaper for me to just lurk in the casino and stay out of the big box stores.

Some Guy said...

I've never been to a Costco, but do they serve free alcohol like the casinos? If so, I think I see a way to beat the house (provided you leave without buying anything).

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I went to Costco twice. The first time I spent $300 and still had to stop to buy groceries on the way home.

You would think that I would have learned from that, but no. I went again and this time did buy groceries but the remnants of that 5 lb bag of broccoli florets are still rotting in my composter. Not even the most militant vegan can eat 5 lbs of broccoli.

katrocket said...

It's so true! I'm not allowed to shop at Costco due to my addictive personality. I'm addicted to buying crap I don't need.

FranIAm said...

Goddammit!

Size does matter, doesn't it?

Double down on the Vaseline!!

Blanche said...

Yeah well I went one time and one time only. I went in for groceries and walked out with a freaking television.

WendyB said...

My sister calls Costco her "happy place."

Helene said...

lol to FranIam!
I, am not addicted to Costcos... I;m not! really! ok, maybe a little...

Cormac Brown said...

Maybe Costco needs to introduce bells and flashing lights.

Cormac Brown said...

BTW, I liken Costco in San Francisco more to a hockey game than a casion, because you better keep your head on a swivel or you'll get checked into the glass. People come into the store here just to eat and God help you if you get between them and the food samples.

Coaster Punchman said...

Can we borrow Vicky to speak at Mama Gin's funeral?

Tanya Espanya said...

Is this MY Vicky?

I love Costco, I don't care what anyone says.

Sometimes I make Patty come with me and we'll share a skid of romaine hearts.

I think that's the trick, though. Buy to share.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I always get pouty at the door nazi who wants you to prove you have a card. I don't get why you even NEED a card really, surely you'd make more money if you didn't have to pay and subsidizing wouldn't be necessary? I always frown at the door nazi and sulk. Also, sometimes you NEED bags. I'm just saying.

the princess said...

it's impossible to go into Costco and spend only *a bit* of money. :)

it's overwhelming, don't you find? it's really much like a casino at that.

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
might , probably curious to know how one can make real money .
There is no initial capital needed You may start earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
The company represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

Its head office is in Panama with affiliates around the world.
Do you want to become an affluent person?
That`s your choice That`s what you desire!

I feel good, I began to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a proper partner who uses your savings in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I earn US$2,000 per day, and my first investment was 500 dollars only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://sunyfaty.servetown.com/ulivexa.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take our chance together to become rich

33 said...

AV,無碼,a片免費看,自拍貼圖,伊莉,微風論壇,成人聊天室,成人電影,成人文學,成人貼圖區,成人網站,一葉情貼圖片區,色情漫畫,言情小說,情色論壇,臺灣情色網,色情影片,色情,成人影城,080視訊聊天室,a片,A漫,h漫,麗的色遊戲,同志色教館,AV女優,SEX,咆哮小老鼠,85cc免費影片,正妹牆,ut聊天室,豆豆聊天室,聊天室,情色小說,aio,成人,微風成人,做愛,成人貼圖,18成人,嘟嘟成人網,aio交友愛情館,情色文學,色情小說,色情網站,情色,A片下載,嘟嘟情人色網,成人影片,成人圖片,成人文章,成人小說,成人漫畫,視訊聊天室,性愛,聊天室,情色,a片,AV女優

cc22 said...

情趣,情趣用品,巴黎,

SM,G點,按摩棒,
變頻跳蛋,
跳蛋,無線跳蛋,

飛機杯,數位按摩棒,
充氣娃娃,
自慰套,自慰套,
情趣娃娃,自慰器,
電動自慰器,充氣娃娃,
角色扮演,

潤滑液,
情趣禮物,情趣玩具,
威而柔,逼真按摩棒,
情人趣味千奈,情人趣味用品,