Why Do The Wrong People Travel?

When I travel, I like to know what sights I’ll be seeing, how safe the place is, whether there are any unusual laws or customs I need to be aware of, what the weather’s like and so on.

While most wouldn’t factor in the likelihood of a volcanic eruption leading to “Europe’s Closed” announcements, I think I’d handle it in a 5 step process:

1. Be annoyed.
2. Be more annoyed.
3. Feel sorry for myself.
4. Wonder why 2012 used to seem so far away.
5. Arrange another way home.

Today in the newspaper, there was an article about how Canadians stranded in Europe have been chastising the government here for not doing more to rescue them. These folks may well be related to the morons who travel directly into hurricane season because it’s a bargain and then cry when they get stranded railing away at the gubmint for not doing more. You’re all wet people, wet and stupid. Or as in the current group of strandees - ashy, ashy and stupid.

While I’m at it, if you’re a hapless snowmobiler who falls through the ice and drowns, my heart goes out to your families but otherwise it’s “See you in the spring!” I’m tired of paying taxes to have massive and costly recovery efforts pull your dumb dead asses out of the water.

I understand that not everyone can immediately round up the resources to extract themselves from unexpected situations. With diplomacy I ask that you follow me in looking at the bright side: being homeless in Europe is way sexier than being homeless in Canada.