Number One With A Bulletin

A bulletin was circulated at work saying that poinsettias are no longer allowed in our building.  "This plant has been known to trigger a very serious reaction in one of our employees" was the message.

I felt so powerful.  I'd just finished saying "I'd rather shoot myself in the face than have to see another pile of stupid friggin' poinsettias!" and now here was a bulletin telling me I mattered.

  

It was quickly brought to my attention that the very serious reaction alluded to had naught to do with me but a near fatal allergic reaction someone in the building had last year.

I've made peace with the fact that if someone has to nearly die for me to get what I want, I can live with that.  It is the season of giving after all.

Snark du Soleil

As my trashy next door neighbors now seem to be busy roof repairing and swearing next door to Barbara's place, I've had to focus on other things, like the people that have moved in directly behind them.

Taking up residence is what may be a troupe of circus folk. On hearing the dulcet tones of something vaguely Russian-sounding being horked through the air, I knew I'd have to take a look. I noted several children playing happily in the yard while the womenfolk looked on at the two men erecting posts with steel bars between them.

After the posts had set, the men began swinging around them doing gymnastic tricks to everyone's delight but mine. I think I'll hold my welcome to the Brothers Rasputin until I can assess just how much they're going to annoy me.

Seeing them at play reminded me of the time Tanya treated me to a free show, no, not that kind, but a Cirque du Soleil production called Corteo. She and her husband Robert have followed the Cirque shows all over the world and proclaimed their brilliance for many years. Robert was washing his hair that night and so Tanya deemed me the Chosen One. I put on my finest red nose and off we went.

While I appreciated the music and sets, I remained confused throughout by the thread of the story and in the end, I proclaimed it all to be jugglers, acrobats and midgets, oh my!

While there was undoubtedly amazing talent and athletic ability on display, parts of the show disturbed me. Apart from the plodding giant they had walking around the stage, the thing that astounded me most was the segment in which a little person midget was harnessed to a group of helium balloons and sent sailing out over the audience cooing all the while like a creepy pixie.

The ringmaster urged the audience to hold their hands out flat and push her back up by the feet to keep her afloat. This spectacle went on for some time and all I could say to my gracious hostess was 'if she comes anywhere near me or touches me, I'm screaming and leaving'. Thankfully, Tanya supported me in my discomfort and no international incident did occur.

If these new neighbors come over asking to borrow a cup of balloons, I'm outta here.