8/16/2007

Snark du Soleil

As my trashy next door neighbors now seem to be busy roof repairing and swearing next door to Barbara's place, I've had to focus on other things, like the people that have moved in directly behind them.

Taking up residence is what may be a troupe of circus folk. On hearing the dulcet tones of something vaguely Russian-sounding being horked through the air, I knew I'd have to take a look. I noted several children playing happily in the yard while the womenfolk looked on at the two men erecting posts with steel bars between them.

After the posts had set, the men began swinging around them doing gymnastic tricks to everyone's delight but mine. I think I'll hold my welcome to the Brothers Rasputin until I can assess just how much they're going to annoy me.

Seeing them at play reminded me of the time Tanya treated me to a free show, no, not that kind, but a Cirque du Soleil production called Corteo. She and her husband Robert have followed the Cirque shows all over the world and proclaimed their brilliance for many years. Robert was washing his hair that night and so Tanya deemed me the Chosen One. I put on my finest red nose and off we went.

While I appreciated the music and sets, I remained confused throughout by the thread of the story and in the end, I proclaimed it all to be jugglers, acrobats and midgets, oh my!

While there was undoubtedly amazing talent and athletic ability on display, parts of the show disturbed me. Apart from the plodding giant they had walking around the stage, the thing that astounded me most was the segment in which a little person midget was harnessed to a group of helium balloons and sent sailing out over the audience cooing all the while like a creepy pixie.

The ringmaster urged the audience to hold their hands out flat and push her back up by the feet to keep her afloat. This spectacle went on for some time and all I could say to my gracious hostess was 'if she comes anywhere near me or touches me, I'm screaming and leaving'. Thankfully, Tanya supported me in my discomfort and no international incident did occur.

If these new neighbors come over asking to borrow a cup of balloons, I'm outta here.

27 comments:

Tanya Espanya said...

Yeah, that floating dwarf...Like those giant earth balls they put out at concerts...

pistols at dawn said...

It sounds like magic is in the air, which can only bode terrible things for you. I suggest you sic your conservative Christian neighbors on that den of inequity.

Bubs said...

My god, I would be the happiest man alive if a beautiful woman took me to see a flying balloon midget show. I'd probably cry tears of joy the moment I first saw that baloon-born midget. Seriously, that is awesome. The only thing better would be if there were, like, at least 3 or 4 of them bouncing around at once. Wow.

BeckEye said...

Maybe the circus people always dreamed of one day running away and joining your neighborhood.

chelene said...

I hate audience participation shows. If I wanted to propel a midget back and forth through the air I'd take up competitive dwarf-tossing.

Jacy said...

I laughed so hard reading this post, then read it over and laughed just as hard.

Dale said...

It's funny that I mentioned those in my original post and then edited them out. Leave it to you Tanya to give my post more balls.

I'm thinking I'll get a cannon and shoot things out of it at them Pistols.

I knew you'd thrill to the thought Bubs. Tanya? You listening? Bubs needs you to squire him to the next Tiny Talent Time.

Brilliantly said Beckeye. Please write my blog from now on.

Although I can't condone it Chelene, I'd still laugh.

The sad (but still funny) part Jacy is that it's all true, except for Robert washing his hair, he was out seeing other circus acts that night or something.

Tanya Espanya said...

Bubs, you coming to Buffalo?

kate said...

I am thinking that "If these new neighbors come over asking to borrow a cup of balloons..." you are too late. perhaps now is the time to consider moving! lol orrrrrrrrrrrr writing a book! lol

take lots of photos! (and post some!)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

That was very rude of Tanya not to supply you with a brace of darts for the event. What kind of hostess would forget that?

X. Dell said...

Afraid of little people touching you? Sounds dreamlike.

If there are little people in your neighbors' backyard, I would say they probably are circus folk. A car jam-packed with clowns would be another indication.

Bubs said...

Tanya, if you got balloon-hoisted midgets on the menu, well then--yes I am.

Marni said...

Ewwww! Midget feet!! Ewwwww!

Anonymous said...

What is it about midgets??? My hubby can't stand to watch WW Chocolate Factory or the Wizard of Oz. Everytime the little people come on, he leaves the room!!
Now my girls are watching Little people in a big world. He cringes and walks thru the Living room real fast.
I just don't get it, they are people!!!

Keith Kennedy said...

"midget was harnessed to a group of helium balloons and sent sailing out over the audience cooing all the while like a creepy pixie."

This may be the best line I've read all year.

Zed said...

See, now, I'd have thought you were so much more brave, Dale. You know, brave in the sense that you'd be the first one up there swatting at the midget's feet and screaming and cackling in glee.

Perhaps I've misread you. :)

Jill said...

Tanya!!! Why did you treat him to that???
I'm going to see Salimbanco in 3 weeks!! Cannot wait!! I saw the same show from le Cirque du Soleil when I was 16, and I was amazed!!
But then, that dwarf thing is kind of weird!! But I hope you appreciated the rest of the show, Dale!!

anandamide said...

what's the issue with the circus neighbours? are they noisy? cuz if neighbours aren't noisy, they can pretty much rub themselves in crisco and run around the yard playing tag as far as i'm concerned....

Grant Miller said...

Do they play the banjo?

Dale said...

You might have to sweeten the deal for Bubs Tanya.

I really should just move now shouldn't I Kate? I'm sort of waiting to see what happens when the old man on the other side goes to the big hoedown in the sky.

She's very sloppy at the hostessing Barbara, there's no accounting for it.

I'll check for one of those little Smart cars in their driveway X. Dell. I'm not really afraid, just a bit weirded out.

There you go Tanya, start rounding up the tiny folk.

Oh come on Marni, they're just little feet. Okay, ewwwwwwww. I agree.

I actually sometimes watch Big World Little People, Anonymous although I do find the Munchkins supremely annoying.

Keith! That's the best comment I've seen in a while. I'm a total sucker for flattery.

I'd have been much more confident if I'd had my Super Soaker with me Zed, then I'd be all evil.

I hope they don't mistake you for one of the acts Jill.

No issues really Anandamide, just interest. Crisco tag sounds kinda fun.

No Grant, but I do.

Chancelucky said...

Dale,
what a great neighborhood to write about. You have the older woman who dresses like a prostitute, the circus people, the trailer park neighbors playing the loud music. Perhaps you could do a poll on who or what should move in next.

mellowlee said...

Ah, the creepy pixie thing would've freaked me out too. Did you have nightmares about it?
Your neighborhood just keeps getting more interesting Dale. Sometimes I'm glad I live in an apartment block. There we don't even need to see our neighbors :O)

Dale said...

Once the old country music king next door goes Chancelucky, there ought to be some interesting bloggables.

No nightmares Mellowlee, just a mild creeping sensation occasionally.

Sometimes I long for more walls between me and them.

jewgirl said...

that is so funny! what a shondj that she wasn't a fury midget. a floating midget is just wrong on several if not all levels. it's so porny.

Dale said...

Porny is correct sir! Furry Katie? I'm shrieking with horror and laughter. Yikes.

Jane Austen Jr. said...

I followed the link to your post from Tanya Espanya's blog, and I've got to say, I can't stop laughing! Sounds like an entertaining show!

Dale said...

It was a strange evening Jane Jr. and I can hold it over Tanya's head forever!