iPod Is A 4 Letter Word

So is fear. Like the fear of having something playing on my beloved iPod that someone might deem uncool were they to intrude and ask what I'm listening to and me not have an answer prepared. I always do have an answer prepared. It's fuck off. I'm wearing headphones. Why would you think I'd want you to engage me? No, actually, I'm sure I'd think up something appropriately cool right on the spot and answer properly. Just like that.

Herein lies the crux. Cozying right up to Omara Portuondo is Olivia Newton John. Livvy - you know I honestly love you but... Coming straight after Red Hot Chili Peppers is Renee Zellweger singing her slender little heart out from Chicago. The White Stripes sweating right next door to Whitney Houston. You get the picture.

I imagine myself a victim of some senseless crime or crash where the emergency personnel first admire my fashion sense and then gingerly remove my headphones only to find that I've been felled while Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffying my way across the street. They begin to laugh neglecting to give me the treatment I so urgently require. My last words might be, no really...I was just listening to classic Squeeze right before that came on...honest.

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