Tell Me More Tell Me More

One of my favourite things to do when I do occasionally manage to get myself out of doors is eavesdrop. Crowded restaurants work as well as anything I've found. This works best when the person across from you is so boring that you're more or less forced to sit there and gather material. Stolen snatches of conversation which on their own sound ridiculous help me build mini histories for the people I'm observing.

A few nights ago, I had the good fortune to be bored fairly to tears when my antennae picked up on a young self made motormouth boring someone else into their salad while espousing their philosophies of life, love and etiquette.

This guy was a clean cut decent looking fellow (aren't we all) describing how successful he was becoming at fleecing people out of their money designing websites for the needy souls of the corporate world. He was amazed at his own prowess and was hoping everyone else was just as interested. I had very nearly tuned out when he began a discourse on how his sister was single and would probably remain so forever.

He was strangling his poor fork with a closed fist covering the whole thing save the barely breathing tines. He began shovelling some salad concoction into his mouth while describing how his sister had so many bad habits that she'd never meet anyone who could tolerate them.

With mouth filled to near capacity and chewing wildly, he continued to talk saying he couldn't even set her up with any of his friends as they'd never be able to get past her bad habits. This from a chump with a food filled mouth practically spitting bacon bits in his poor captive's face. In some circles, talking with a mouth filled with food might be considered bad manners but what do I know? I never did go to finishing school.

I loved the sight and the sound. He couldn't have known how ridiculous he was. I've decided that if he was the one who finished charm school in his family, his poor sister indeed has no hope. Probably a relatively pretty young thing but powerless to stop picking her nose while in polite company.

I love the people. I hate the people. Maybe I'll go out for dinner again tonight.