1/13/2008

The King & I

Having recently worked up the courage to admit I was never that crazy about Elvis the Pelvis, I must clarify that I am not ignorant of his powers.

Hitching a ride on the Evil Genius train and his question about who would win a fight between Godzilla and Jesus and John Mutford's great literary compares, I must open a new debate in the war between good and gooder.

As I said at the time, what a pencil we have in Jesus! But just look at the high and mighty King up there on the pen!
I think I already know the outcome but I'd still pay to see the fight.

35 comments:

Suze said...

No question who would win. Look at Jesus - he's already in the fight stance "bring it on my brother". Put a 20 spot on Big J for me.

katrocket said...

I find it hilarious that someone would actually need FIVE Jesus pencil toppers. That's fun for the whole family.

Distributorcap said...

dale
you aint nothing but a hound dog

Dale said...

I dunno Suze, he looks pretty midgety to me, all 5 of him. I'll take all bets though.

I bought a case of them Katrocket, if you need backups let me know.

Yes, yes I am Mr. DCap.

X. Dell said...

I got $10 bucks on Christ, TKO, fifth round.

FranIAm said...

I so want those Jesus pencil toppers! One for each day of the work week! whoo hoo.

And Elvis for the weekend. Life is too damn good, what do I care about regrets???

WendyB said...

What does it mean that Elvis gets a pen and Jesus only gets a pencil?

SkylersDad said...

Yeah, whats with the 5 at a time Jesus toppers? Wasn't he part of some trinity or something?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Well pen is permanenter than pencil, innit? Still there are 5 Jesuses ... Jesi? That's a toughie.

Jacy said...

I was never an Elvis fan. Nor was I a huge Beatles fan. And if I never hear certain Rolling Stones songs ever again, it will be a day too soon.

This mystifies and angers people.

julia said...

Elvis would totally win, because he did karate chops in his white spangley suit and sunglasses, and Jesus turns the other cheek.

Coaster Punchman said...

Blasphemer.

Hot Lemon said...

jesus christ!!

pistols at dawn said...

Elvis has got much better stage presence. All the people at the Sermon on the Mount were just there because they heard there would be loaves and fish.

Kate said...

the pen is might...
but if you have 5 Jesus pencils... hummmm tough call but I put 20 on Mr Pelvis

Beth said...

My birthday wish list is complete!

Chancelucky said...

I think it's a question of early Elvis vs. middle Elvis, vs. late drug-addicted overweight Elvis. This looks to be early Elvis so I figure he could take down Jesus. Better nutrition. On the other hand, Elvis's mother would likely tell him to lose to Jesus....
This is sure a tough call.

minijonb said...

Elvis in the second round... i heard Jesus is going to throw the fight.

John Mutford said...

Jesus on a stick? Meh. It's been done.

Dale said...

They're sure to ward off evil in the workplace FranIam amd Elvis is sure to bring it into the home - perfect!

I can't figure out why Jesus doesn't have his own official seal like Elvis does WendyB. Priscilla was around for both of their deaths wasn't she?

It's a Jackson Five tribute I think Skyler's Dad, he always loved them.

They're so little these Jesi though Barbara, I dunno either.

It makes me feel closer to you Jacy. I like some of all of their songs but refuse to pattern my life after any of them.

Exactly what I was thinking Julia! Okay, it wasn't, but that's pretty damned (oops) funny.

Yes CP, see you in hell!

Jesus Mary & Joseph too Hot Lemon!

The promise of a sweaty scarf trumps loaves and fishes every time Pistols.

He'd really have to get the lead out to beat Elvis I think Kate.

What about my talking Napoleon Dynamite keychain, mint in package, Beth?

That's good figurin' Chancelucky, my money's been on Elvis through this whole thing but I'm trying to be impartial.

Always with the tricks this Jesus. You're most probably right MiniJonB.

And how! Hilarious Mr. Mutford.

Evil Evil Genius said...

I am going with Steinbeck.

Johnny Yen said...

Have you ever seen the movie "The Commitments?" There's a scene in it where one of the characters is talking to main character Jimmy's dad, played by Colm Meaney, who is a devout Catholic and a devout Elvis fan. If you look behind him, you see pictures of the Pope and the King. Elvis' picture is on top.

Dale said...

The only choice Evil Evil Genius! You're brilliant.

I loved the film Johnny Yen but forgot about that excellent detail. Colm is so great in his few scenes and everyone else steps right up too don't they? It could be time for a re-watch.

Bluez said...

I'll take a dozen of those jesus toppers. God knows I need them when I underwrite some of the cases I've seen.

Hahn at Home said...

My aunt had Elvis doilies, Elvis velvet paintings, Elvis coffee mugs (with a profile for a mug), Elvis commemorative dishes, trinkets, and baubles. I detest Elvis. It almost got me the ax in pre-screen with my current g/f. If having a relationship hinges on Elvis, well...I'm just sayin'

James said...

Jesus wins...but he dies in the end. Don't worry though, he comes back for the sequel.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Interesting typography on the packages, too. Like it's not enough to just have the Jesus and Elvis toppers, you actually have to spend time on the packaging to help sell these things -- the old-timey script for the word "Jesus" and the flashy, show-biz-type font for "Elvis." Wonderful stuff.

Bubs said...

Well, JC clearly has the ability to replicate, creating a vast army of resurrecting pencil-toppers...

But Elvis...well, TCB. Enough said about that.

The Freelance Cynic said...

So that kinds of put the final nail in the coffin of One Father, One Son. If only the Rebulicans knew that god had already mastered cloning in pack of 5

Bella Rossa said...

I love this stuff! I used to have something called "Just A Little Gay," and it was lisp-producing breath spray.

Grant Miller said...

Do pencil toppers also work on pens?

BeckEye said...

If you put the Jesus topper on your pencil, it turns lead to ink.

Dale said...

You've hit the nail on the Jesus Bluez.

You need a dating agency other than e-Elvis I think Lori!

He's a tricky one that Christ! As long as he doesn't make as many Rocky films as what's his name did.

You should see the back of the packaging BSUWG - the Jesus one says "Great for pencils, pens, crayons, paintbrushes and chopsticks" while the Elvis one has a somewhat lengthy bio of the one true King. Both list their websites as well.

TCB Bubs? Y? Is he in the yogurt biz now too?!

Something to do with being fruitful and multiplying I guess Freelance Cynic.

It would go well with my Faith Enhancing Breath Spray I'm sure Bella. (Mine doesn't work by the way).

Only if they're yellow and slender Grant.

And when you sit him on that eraser Beckeye, I swear he smiles.

deadspot said...

Are christians allowed to shove a pencil up Jesus's butt? I thought they frowned on that kind of thing.

Dale said...

For all the stuff he's crammed down our throats, I say yes Deadspot, yes!