9/24/2008

I Love My Job, I Love My Job

Does anybody else get as excited as I do when it's time to refill the stapler? No? Okay.

46 comments:

Flannery Alden said...

Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I love the feel of the sleek, compresses staples. I like the way they are machined to fit precisely in the stapler. I love to look at the engineering inside the stapler. It's totally cool.

...I need help.

Bluez said...

Sometimes I'm surprised when I have to refill my stapler because for some reason I never think it will ever be empty.

a better feeling is when the box of staples is empty! I mean really, how long does it take you to go through a whole box of staples?

Cap'n Ergo "Carthage" Jinglebollocks said...

I always get a small feeling of accomplishment-- to know that I've gone through a strip of 150+ staples means that I've been Accomplishing Something.

Of course, it's a helluva lot easier to do that when you're a schoolteacher than just about anything else, I've noticed. Them buletin boards require a HELL of a lot of staples.

Do either of you like the smell of a fresh sharpened pencil?? Do you get a good feeling when you look at the stub of a pencil knowing that you've Done Something? I sho' as hell do. I even have a JAR for all my old pencil stubs-- a testiment to my industry.

Splotchy said...

I don't go through enough staples to refill it on a regular basis, but I thoroughly enjoy refilling it.

Dale, you're just not posting this to get me to admit my love of refilling staplers, are you?

Hahn at Home said...

Having a dull pencil and using the sharpener...that's my gig

Beth said...

I absolutely HATE having to refill the stapler. It always happens in the midst of a mega-stapling project ... then you have to go down the hall to get a new box of staples, because of course yours is now empty ... then you get distracted by the new treats in the candy machine ... then you suddenly find yourself interested in reading that EEO poster originally hung in 1983 ... then you have to talk to that weird chick a few cubicles down ... and by the time you get back, you have no idea why your desk is covered in loose paper.

Chris said...

When I was a wee child back in small-town Iowa (the nearest village was Ruble, population 2 -- Bill and Esther -- it was on the maps!) my grandparents had a stapler... An old-thyme stapler. Art Deco. It had class, all black and sleek with doodads and springs. We loved playing with that stapler.

I get nostalgic over outhouses, too. (Yes, we had one.)

BeckEye said...

I'm actually a little afraid of staplers.

Cormac Brown said...

With my job? Only if it were a semi-automatic staple gun and...




...nevermind.

SkylersDad said...

I don't have one of those sissy little staplers, no-sir-ee. Mine runs on compressed air, and is belt-fed!

Yeah, I am the Aaaaarnold of staplers!

katrocket said...

I'm a paperclip kinda gal myself, but I do get excited about replacing the toner in my printer. I hope we can still be friends.

FranIAm said...

It is the one thing that is most upsetting about being unemployed... i am in the staple desert, parched for a good staple change.

pistols at dawn said...

Life in the fast lane!

I hope one day, my company can afford staplers.

Bubs said...

I love refilling staplers. I thought it was just me. Odd, though, I have no memory of ever having bought staples...

dguzman said...

Whenever I have to refill the tape dispenser or the stapler, I'm reminded of how damned long I've been at this place. I had the same tape roll for FOUR YEARS, and just replaced it last month. I can only hope that I'm not around here to see it run out again.

allison said...

Yes, sometimes. After I've aligned all the correctional fluid on a right angle.

Doc said...

I love to refill the stapler, especially right before I'm going to use it on some bonehead who is out to screw up my day.

Doc

Suze said...

Actually that is one thing that bothers the hell out of me. I'm stapling happily and then all of a sudden...poof...no staples. Ugh - I hate that. There should be a staple fairy that magically fills your stapler over night. Kind of like the paper fairy that people think fill the copy machine magically every night.

mellowlee said...

We're not allowed to use staplers in the health records department anymore *sniff sniff* Something to do with them interfering with the scanning of charts peh!

Slaygirl said...

you are about to start randomly shooting people with your stapler aren't you?

Chancelucky said...

Omg....I thought I was the only one.
Do you find it a challenge when the staples break in half and you try to load the two pieces of loosely connected staples into the stapler anyway. If you aligned the two formerly joined staples (think Russia and Georgia) just so, it wouldn't jam the stapler. If you didn't, then you'd have to take the pieces out and inevitably you'd have more little bits of staples than you started with.
I still wonder how they decide how much metal to leave between individual stapes in those things.

Tenacious S said...

Well, since I really don't have an office job, I rarely use a stapler. What I do enjoy is a fresh box of crayons though. Sadly, on Monday, my client's mother brought down a brand new box of crayons for us to use. I was all excited until she proceeded to peel each and every one of them. I wanted to cry. They were ruined.

the princess said...

ummm...actually I do. i also get really excited when i get to go buy supplies or order online even. the princess is in control of the supplies...not to worry. I happen to have 2 staplers. i love refilling the heavy duty one. that was a really long comment on staples. damn, i gotta get out more.

Baroness von Bloggenschtern said...

Only when they are being loaded into a Red Swingline.

That SO rocks...

Reesie said...

Dale, I bed you even have a red swingline.

You DO, damnit. Don't deny it.

Reesie said...

oh, hell, baroness beat me to the "red swingline" joke. FUCK!!!!

WendyB said...

I have a stapler I'm very fond of.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler.

Coaster Punchman said...

There are several small office tasks that make me really happy. Like murdering sales reps and that sort of thing.

Evil Genius said...

I enjoy the irony of a box of paperclips bought from Staples.

Katie Schwartz said...

That depends on the stapler. Is it a butch number, one that can staple up to 50 pages at once? Do you have access to multi-colored staples or just standard silver ones? If it's a small stapler, do you use it as a music maker?

All of these things factor into a person's enthusiasm level when refilling their stapler.

I can admit that at times a good refill can make the twin vulva twitch a bit.

Gifted Typist said...

Oh Dale, you're devaluing your work again. You won't get any respect from your boss until you start respecting yourself

Les Becker said...

Oh my GOD! You are such a Kindred Spirit!!!

It makes me feel so productive when it's time to fill the stapler; as if, somehow, stapling papers together makes me hellishly important. Yeah, well, it's mostly bills that get stapled, and you know if you have to staple a bill, you're off-budget.

Damn, you've depressed me now, Dale. WHERE'S MY KITTEN-MITTENS?!

genn6 said...

No, I hate it actually. It never goes well.

Dale said...

Okay, you all seem to think I was talking about refilling the stapler when what I really meant was...never mind, it's too dirty. Okay, it's not, I was just filling the stapler. It was a grand day indeed! Who knew there were so many for and some against? Not me, no siree!

Flannery - I'll help you!

You're working harder than you think Bluez! A whole box emptied practically qualifies as a holiday it's so festive.

As long as you're not A.S.S. (accomplishing something stupid) it counts as an accomplishment Cap'n Carthage. I like the way sharpened pencils smell and look and the eraser even has a special spot in my brain.

It's taken me this long to trap you and make you confess Splotchy and it feels so right! I'll send you some work so you can go through more staples to get that feeling more regularly.

There you go Lori, I actually rarely use pencils but I applaud you for taking special care with yours.

How is that weird chick Beth? I think she stole some of my paperclips. Why am I picturing a "Family Circus" trail of footprints all around your office?

That sounds really cool Chris, any photos of it perchance? I've not seen one like that. I have nothing good to say about outhouses though.

Poor Beckeye! I'll hold you while you hold the stapler and get used to it.

Cormac Carnage is how the headline might read! Intriguing.

You have a holster on right now don't you Skydad?

Do you get the toner all over you Kat or are you an expert? I used to have these funky Italian round paperclips, Clipiola or something, they were cool.

This is not good Fran, maybe we could have all your favourite bloggers fill staplers on video to help. Of course, I'd need people to lend me a hand. Like actually do the video and send it to you. I'm busy but will send staples.

Breakneck pace around here Pistols. If by company you mean your relatives visiting, they never have anything good!

They just appear when required and are then pressed into service Bubs. Freaky.

I hope the same for you DGuzman, time marking can wear you down, stapling and refilling is meant to be done with abandon and joy.

Oh jeez Allison, I line that stuff up too, luckily the liquid paper is soon covered over by piles of real paper showing me one failing while hiding a compulsion.

You're packing stapler heat right now aren't you Doc. I knew it.

Suze, it sounds like you need an assistant. How much do you pay? I'm available.

What do you use instead Mellowlee? Gum?

The thought never entered my mind Slaygirl, at least until reading some of the comments here, I may go on a rampage yet.

You'll never staple alone Chancelucky. When they break and I reunite them, I feel some sense of having done something prize worthy. Maybe the UN needs to change tactics and get people in on the stapling thing to come together?

Cruelty! That's what you were subjected to Tenacious S. Who peels them and then hands them over? They would totally be ruined. Where's my burnt sienna?

You have ordering prowess no doubt Princess, I must always be nice to you, you can get me the nicer pens too can't you?

Swingline's do rock Baroness Von B! Show me yours!

Reesie, I look good in red but staples look even better.

You're holding out on something Wendy B. Tell me more.

I also have a lock of your hair Barbara, I'm making something, leave me alone!

I would always choose to watch something like seeing a sales rep murdered over refilling my stapler CP. Next time, invite a few people would ya?

I'll be trying to use that line someday soon Evil Genius but I'll totally credit you for it.

If I'm able to get excited over the standard staples Katie, I can't imagine how badly I'd twitch with the industrial creature you're describing. Coloured staples? Really? Never heard of em.

Will I ever lurn Gifted Typist? Signs point to no.

It's clear that you're hellishly important Les. Your kitty mittys are lazing right on the chair behind me. I'll be harvesting soon.

Genn6, I think you need an assistant or possibly an instructional video.

deadspot said...

I like refilling my stapler. Then again, I have a red Swingline stapler. No really, I do. I got tired of my chintzy, jam-prone stapler that I got from work, so I went online and bought myself a bad-ass, top-of-the-line, fire-engine red attaching paper to other pieces of paper device.

It came with Initech post-its and a piece of flair.

X. Dell said...

I usually end up puncturing at least one finger when I refill the stapler. You seem to be much better at this task than I.

just a girl... said...

nice to know I am not the only one. I also get some sick satisfaction out of a fresh notebook and a new pen. I am easily pleased.

Dale said...

What could you possibly do with even more flair Deadspot. I think I can see you from here! Good buy!

Good thing blogging is staple free X. Dell or I'd worry constantly about you rather than just enjoying your posts.

Oh! Just a Girl! Did you say fresh notebook? I've got stacks of them here. It's practically an illness with me. Okay, not practically.

Distributorcap said...

did you buy them at staples?

Dale said...

No Distributor Cap, that's where I get my paper clips. Evil Genius taught me to do that.

wonderturtle said...

I do, but partially because I'm a little scared. I often end up accidentally closing it on my fingers.

Ms Smack said...

I do.... don't tell anyone.

Dale said...

Next time keep your eyes on the prize Wonderturtle and on your fingers!

Shh, Ms. Smack, they didn't hear it from me.

Mrs.D said...

As a matter of fact, I find a lot of joy in a WHOLE unbroken row of staples.

Dale said...

It used to drive me crazy Mrs D when my old stapler couldn't hold a whole unbroken row - what to do with the poor cast offs?! I'm with you.