Dr. Zibbs at That Blue Yak and Esther from Gratuitous Violins (fairly) recently tagged me to disclose some weird things about myself.
In the interests of public safety and avoiding criminal prosecution, I've limited myself to a few things you may or may not find marginally interesting that may or may not involve me. Let it never be said that I'm afraid of a disclaimer! Here we go...
I'm afraid of disclaimers. Perhaps 'general unease' is a better descriptor but each time I hear a medication being pushed on a television commercial and the voiceover says something during the laundry list of warnings like "may cause some forms of cancer", I feel sick. My other favourite is "...and in some cases, death". Come on you big chicken! It's only some cases!
Today I learned I know someone who owns one of those creepy dolls Marie Osmond sells. These dolls make me fear Mormons for more than just the usual reasons. He and his wife had seen Marie hawking a doll with the same name as their daughter and impulsively bought it from a home shopping channel. Their daughter, thankfully, showed better judgment in not wanting to even take the creature out of its box and it remains there to this day. Next occasion, go for the Paper Roses instead.
Once after a physical exam, my doctor remarked that my heart rate seemed low. She asked if I was very athletic as athletes often have lower than usual heart rates at rest. I said
"come on Doc, you've seen me naked" and she laughed much longer than necessary. It turned out that I have a slightly enlarged heart, something not always evident in my day to day dealings with people.
Cold cuts creep me out, please don't serve them to me. Unless I've sliced it myself, I always think it's some pressed together mixture of dread. That said, I will eat a submarine sandwich on occasion possibly because the bread hides the fear. Any food larger than I think it should be, a giant tomato say, also makes me worry that we fuck a little too much with nature.
I've never been comfortable disclosing whether I'm a Wilma or a Betty man.
While I'm far too scared to read through my blog, it occurred to me after writing this post that all my posts could be about fear. Years ago, reading through a story in a Twilight Zone magazine, one line stood out and has remained with me since. "We're all afraid because none of us knows where we're going". There might be something to that.