Celebrity Skin

It must have come from reading an online journal that had a post about dreams you've had involving celebrities and sex.

A lot of people seemed to have had some pretty interesting dreams and sex with celebrities. I remember thinking that I hadn't had too many dreams involving celebrity sex but I had dreamed about Matt Lauer, more than once about Lee Majors and Farrah Fawcett-Majors and then the other night, about Moby.

Matt: It started out on a hilltop behind the house I grew up in. A whole group of people were on the hill and wondering how we would get down. The lady from work most unlikely to do so coiled herself up into a circle and rolled down the hill to demonstrate. We all followed suit.

Next we were in a large apartment entranceway and I realized without any visual clue that it was Matt Lauer's place. Everything was swellegant and swanky and I kept thinking how jealous my brother David was going to be since he was the Matt Lauer fan and not me. Of course, my brother David probably wouldn't know who Matt Lauer was let alone idolize him in any way. I believe we were offered cocktails and then I sat down on the floor and played chess with Matt who was very personable. I don't remember much else except thinking that he'd better do something about that bald spot.

Steve Austin & Jill Monroe: I used to have a recurring dream as a child which I believe was based on a horror / fantasy type comic book I had read. There was a long covered bridge, a shrieking witch head up in the sky, some merchants on the bridge and general foreboding. At some point, I escaped the feeling of dread by jumping in the water and swimming. As I wasn't such a strong swimmer, I soon began to falter. Some sort of crudely drawn aquaman type (think Rocket Robin Hood) character would rescue me and deposit me on the shore. I had variations on this dream many times but at some point I remember having it and ending up in a cave with Lee & Farrah. Nobody spoke but I felt safe being with them. Farrah would smile at me and Lee wouldn't really look at us but I knew I was now safe. She was up on a higher level of the cave and Lee I think was busy figuring out how his bionics were going to get us out of this mess. Does this make her my Farrah godmother? Sorry.

Moby: So, I'm walking up a hill with a bunch of people (my dreams seem to be populated with bunches of people) and I realize that some of them are friends of my sister. We somehow figure out she is gay. I don't really seem too shocked. After a while, I end up realizing at some point that Moby is in the house next to wherever I am (no longer on a hill). I peer in through the old tyme screen door (wooden frame) and see a guy asleep on a bed. It's Moby. I walk in being quiet so as not to wake him. He's sleeping on a cot. I watch him for a while and just look around. There are floor to ceiling record albums around a corner from the armchair that I'm sitting in.

Moby wakes up and doesn't seem too startled to see me there. We make small talk, I'm a bit uncomfortable but he seems cool. He decides we should put some music on. We go around the corner and start poring over the albums. He pulls out a Bob Dylan record and mentions what a classic he is. I can't believe I'm saying it to Moby but I feel I have to and say that I'd rather slice my wrists open and bleed to death than listen to Bob Dylan since he's so overrated. I'm sorry I'm saying it but I feel I really have to. Moby isn't impressed but he's still a polite host. We go back to the bedsit / living area and there are a bunch of other people there. Someone lights a joint and it gets passed around and I take a couple of puffs. There is some chit chat and eventually I realize that they all have plans and I'm really intruding when they have stuff to do that doesn't include me. I start to make my exit and this is when the clock woke me up.

Oh yes, and I have sex with all of them. Okay, I didn't but I'm surprised I haven't done it with half of Hollywood in my dreams by this point considering I eat up all that celebrity crap like it's candy. I'm not alone. Society and it's fascination with celebrity: Next on Blogger Blahgging.

How could I have forgotten? I also remember dreaming many years ago about Max and Mr & Mrs H from TV's Hart to Hart - Stefanie Powers and Robert Wagner. Weird.

Weirder than that is how I was reminded of this dream. I was watching one of the ultimate bad ideas of the late '7o's - The Concorde Airport '79 and Robert Wagner was in it. Strange that I didn't remember my dream after seeing him in countless other bad things and Austin Powers etc. If you're looking for an explanation for why I was watching Airport '79, I think I'll pass on that for now.