The Answer Man

Puss in Boots, better known as Michael G, tagged me to answer a series of very intrusive questions but as he thought to say please?, the sheer force of his politeness compelled me to comply.

Five names you go by

1. Dale

2. POTD - Katie Schwartz is responsible for that.

3. Daisy - I don't really go by it but a client at work once very badly misheard my first name and thought it was Daisy. I thoughtfully had her killed.

4. Pennywinkle - one of my brothers used to call me this and I have no idea why, I wonder if it's too late to ask?

5. Fuckface - me, a name I call myself.

Three things you are wearing right now

1. Layers

2. At least 3

3. See above

Two things you want very badly at the moment

1. Chicken with 40 Cloves of Garlic - and I shall have it, in about 45 minutes.

2. For winter to be over (cue the We've Only Just Begun music).

Three people who will probably fill this out

1. PJ

2. Phronk

3. Bluez

Two things you did last night

1. Ate crispy beef with ginger (that's small 'g' ginger and not Ginger Grant).

2. Watched half of Tropic Thunder before giving up (the fake movie ads were better than the movie itself).

Two things you ate today

1. Shortbread Cookies with Chocolate Covered Almonds baked in

2. Leftover General Tso's Chicken

Two people you last talked to on the phone

1. My mother the tactician

2. Tanya Espanya

Two things you are going to do tomorrow

1. Optimistically speaking, I have to go with wake up

2. Watch a film called The Fall that Mob mentioned a while back

Two longest car rides

1. From small city New Brunswick to big city Ontario (16 hours - my father killed several birds by driving so fast even they could not manoeuver out of his way)

2. Any cab ride where I don't feel like small talking my way home (feels like 16 hours)

Two of your favourite beverages

1. Coca Cola

2. Bloody Caesars - clamato juice - yes it's made with clams, but there's alcohol involved! Try it!

Please feel free to play the home game!

Back In The Habit (An Audio Post)

Between work and winter, I don't seem to have a prayer but I know who might!  

If I ever were to write a book about my sister, I'd call it Letters From A Nun mostly because she's a nun, and she writes letters.  

As I'm far too lethargic for such an undertaking, I've done an audio blog instead.  You'll find it over on my sidebar under the Let's Go Audio heading above the GCast player.  

Press play, God wants you to. And so does my cat.  Oh, and Sally Field, she always wants it.  Just look at her.

Church of the Poisoned Blog

It's Sunday and we all know what that means!  Time for Church!  

Being a recovering Catholic, I long ago decided the only church I would attend is the one in my heart.  Only problem is, every time I get there, it's full - not a seat to be had.  Bloody hell!

So, I make my way to the drive thru and do what I can to not worship false idols.  We all pray in our own way.

Moods for Moderns

What does it mean when you find a song that's been sitting on your iPod for nearly a year without ever having been listened to and then you listen to it 32 times in the span of a day and a half?  Around here, it means it's Tuesday (even if I'm recounting this on a Friday).

By about noon on Tuesday, it already felt like it had been a long week.  When most hope seemed lost, a perfectly lovely little pop song clocking in at 2:07 found my ears.  Not having recalled hearing it before, I threw caution to the wind and brazenly took my iPod from my pocket in broad daylight.

It turned out to be a song called "Seventeen Dirty Magazines" by a band called Modern Skirts.  Modern Skirts?  But they're guys!  That's crazy!  Where the hell did this come from?  I played it over and over until I thought I smelled smoke, gave it a rest and then started again.   

I finally got all modern myself, did a search and saw that the band was from Athens GA.  I knew where to look next - over at Beth's place.  Sho' nuff, she'd posted the song on one of her mix tapes on November 23, 2007.  I must have downloaded it at the time, let it ferment and foment and ta-da.  Even when you're not thinking about blogging, it creeps back in.  Thanks Beth!

If you'd like a listen, be my guest.

Picnic Anyone?

Soon after bravely and proudly presenting my 'no cold cuts please' position, I was filled with misgivings. At the risk of relinquishing any remaining dignity or credibility I may possess, I have to confess something.


For many years with great zeal, though I was young, I enjoyed eating 'Meat, Macaroni and Cheese Loaf'. *





As I gazed upon the Q-Tips and cheese bits that dot the landscape of this fine product, I realized with more than a little dread that the Best Before date has a month and day assigned but there seems to be no requirement for a year. Oh my.


While in this confessional mode of mind, may I please add to the list of weirdohole things about me one more item?


The smell of canned cat food is something I find most repugnant, yet each time I open one for little Rizzo, I am compelled to smell it. As the urge to vomit begins to pass, I adopt my slightly shrill but still sweet talking to cat voice and encourage her to enjoy what surely will be the finest canned Turducken she has ever tasted.


Now if you'll excuse me, I must get a snack before readying myself for the opera tonight.



*Many thanks to Esther for her comment about eating 'olive loaf' in the previous post which inspired me.

Weirdohole

Dr. Zibbs at That Blue Yak and Esther from Gratuitous Violins (fairly) recently tagged me to disclose some weird things about myself.

In the interests of public safety and avoiding criminal prosecution, I've limited myself to a few things you may or may not find marginally interesting that may or may not involve me.  Let it never be said that I'm afraid of a disclaimer!  Here we go...

I'm afraid of disclaimers.  Perhaps 'general unease' is a better descriptor but each time I hear a medication being pushed on a television commercial and the voiceover says something during the laundry list of warnings like "may cause some forms of cancer", I feel sick.  My other favourite is "...and in some cases, death".  Come on you big chicken! It's only some cases!

Today I learned I know someone who owns one of those creepy dolls Marie Osmond sells.  These dolls make me fear Mormons for more than just the usual reasons.  He and his wife had seen Marie hawking a doll with the same name as their daughter and impulsively bought it from a home shopping channel.  Their daughter,  thankfully, showed better judgment in not wanting to even take the creature out of its box and it remains there to this day.  Next occasion, go for the Paper Roses instead.

Once after a physical exam, my doctor remarked that my heart rate seemed low.  She asked if I was very athletic as athletes often have lower than usual heart rates at rest.  I said 

"come on Doc, you've seen me naked" and she laughed much longer than necessary.  It turned out that I have a slightly enlarged heart, something not always evident in my day to day dealings with people.

Cold cuts creep me out, please don't serve them to me.  Unless I've sliced it myself, I always think it's some pressed together mixture of dread.  That said, I will eat a submarine sandwich on occasion possibly because the bread hides the fear.  Any food larger than I think it should be, a giant tomato say, also makes me worry that we fuck a little too much with nature.

I've never been comfortable disclosing whether I'm a Wilma or a Betty man.

While I'm far too scared to read through my blog, it occurred to me after writing this post that all my posts could be about fear.  Years ago, reading through a story in a Twilight Zone magazine, one line stood out and has remained with me since.  "We're all afraid because none of us knows where we're going".  There might be something to that.

How Will You Celebrate It?

Although it's Tanya Espanya's birthday today and she's planning on shopping off to Buffalo, I will be at home celebrating in my own way - with a good old fashioned cocktail of meds!

On Friday at work, I smirked too hard at someone and somehow managed to throw my back out of whack.  Thank goodness for that free Canadian health care!  I was able to leave work early, pick up some choice meds and head home.  I had been scheduled to take in the opera Don Giovanni in the evening but crapped out which I heard is just what the production did anyway. 

Yesterday was spent in a wonderful haze of medication fueled naps but today I'm feeling better.

  

Please join me in wishing Tanya a wonderful birthday.  If I end up with any unused medication, I plan to share it with her.  What can I say, I'm a giver!