After hearing it again a few minutes later, I realized it sounded like the beep my treadmill makes when you change speeds or programs. Considering I've been too lazy to even hang clothes on the damnable thing for months, I ruled that out too.
As my confusion grew and the sound continued, I decided to crawl my way up and out of the chesterfield and went searching for the source. I opened the door to the back room and was horrified to see that not only was the beeping coming from the treadmill but it was also flashing my weight in red letters (you enter your weight I suppose for humiliation purposes?).
I pushed the stop button, the power button and the other buttons I don't understand but it continued to beep and I swear, laugh. I unplugged it and thankfully, it stopped its menacing taunt.
Considering I haven't been that weight for months, who's laughing now? Stupid treadmill.