1/17/2009

The Blog With Something Extra

While I don't wish ill on (almost) anyone, it doesn't much bother me that Sally Field has osteoporosis.  I blame her for changing my life decades ago although she probably wouldn't want to talk about that in a series of television ads for big cash.

No, I was not a teenaged Gidget and I've never stood on a table holding anything other than my a UNION sign.  I've never broken down while proclaiming "...Right now you like me" (at least in public) and though I have many personalities, without a diagnosis, I'll stick with Dale rather than Sybil.

During the 1970s, the subject of Extra Sensory Perception (ESP) seemed to be on everyone's minds and a topic of some fascination in the media.  Some might say it began at birth but things really began to unravel for me in 1973 when a series called 'The Girl With Something Extra' began airing on television starring Sally Field as a housewife with ESP.  It may have been billed as a comedy but after watching only a few minutes of it, things didn't seem so funny.  

While I can't imagine there was much of anything nefarious going on in my tender 9 year old brain, I became suspicious that perhaps some people could actually read minds and I began taking precautions in earnest in case they were scanning me.

If ever someone held my stare longer than I felt comfortable with, my first line of defense was to launch into a silent but simple cloud of noise comprised of la la la la la la las which rang through my head for as long as it took to change the subject I'd been pondering before the intrusion.  When someone insisted on remaining in my orbit and actually engaging me, I sometimes went to a stage two higher alert involving more deliberate conversations with myself about the weather or the rising cost of popsicles.  I made sure not to move my lips when I did this and eventually, things would clear enough for me to be able to carry on a conversation.

My suspicion that people were reading my mind lingered for years and even on occasion now, I feel the need to scramble my thoughts.  Seeing through me is one thing but listening in on me? Unforgivable. 

If you ever find yourself talking to me or at me and I seem momentarily distracted or otherwise engaged, try not to take it personally, it's not you, it's her.  

Damn you Sally Field!

29 comments:

Distributorcap said...

did you have a Sister Bertrille as a teacher?

Fran said...

Damn that Dcap, beating me to the punch with a Sister Bertrille comment!

Dale, I can tell that you have read my mind and it does make me feel a little uncomfortable.

However, I can live with it if you start using a proper bookmark and stop turning the pages down to note your place.

Thank you!

katrocket said...

I've always found Sally too perky to be trusted. Oh, and 7 year-old me will never forgive her for ruining The Bandit.

SkylersDad said...

Oh, I remember that series! I remember one particular episode where he thought about asking her to marry him and before he could get the words out she was screaming yes! yes!

Katie Schwartz said...

Dale, you're so damn funny and dry as a bone.

TRUE BLOOD, BABY. Have you seen it? Sookie reads minds and hears everythaaaang.

When I first found out that some people out there in the world can read your mind, I panicked in elevators, only. Not sure why. I would concentrate on the blinking floors, "We're on 1, heading to 3, then 4, 7." You get the gist.

I feel you, child!

Evil Genius 4,000 said...

I am the eye in the sky, Dale. Eye in the sky.

Doc said...

I don't know Dale. I think it might be great if the CBC created a sitcom based solely on you and your thoughts. Sure, some critics might knock it as being a "Herman's Head" rip-off, but the ratings would soon prove them wrong. Just think of the all-star cast we could hire to play all of your many mental facets. Who would you cast?

You would get sole writing, directing, and casting credits, while I recieve a small stipend from the merchandising.

Just a thought.
Doc

Joe said...

I knew you were going to say that.

Cormac Brown said...

Wait a minute, your action movie sister, the nun? Can she read your mind too?

Les Becker said...

Aw, but I've always really LIKED Sally Field.

A LOT!

I've also always known exactly what you're thinking, Dale...

Calm down...

Unknown said...

I wish someone knew what I was thinking..cause I sure as hell don't.

Chris the Hippie said...

Sally Field... I knew that name sounded familiar, but couldn't figger out who she was until I saw Kat's comment. I remember Smokey and the Bandit!

This whole post I was thinking of some other lady -- the one who was a reporter with Ed Sullivan in the 70s after she divorced that joke writer who looked a lot like Dick Van Dyke.

WendyB said...

So...you dislike her? You really dislike her?

gennifer6 said...

I understand, I have childhood Traumas from 'The Shining' and 'The Day After', sometimes those neuroses just grow old with you, I'm convinced.

wonderturtle said...

The problem is your animal magnetism. That's why they are staring. Embrace it!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You should have worn an aluminum foil hat like the rest of us did.

Gifted Typist said...

Phew! I though it was just that you didn't like to look at me or something. THanks for saying that day, or Sally or whoevaaaa.

Tenacious S said...

A vague acquaintance of ours is the step-brother of Sally Fields. We could have her whacked if that would help you.

Coaster Punchman said...

Dale, I don't WANT to swim naked in that pool of green Jell-O. Stop it right now!!

Anonymous said...

I think its more scary she played Tom Hanks Mom in Forrest Gump. Sup with that? Aren't they like the same age?

KK said...

I blamed her for making me buy a 79 trans am and taking my cowboy hat off night after night.

Cap'n Ergo "XL+II" Jinglebollocks said...

I thought a tin-foil pie pan mushed down o'er your head to make a hat was supposed to work for this sort of stuff??

BeckEye said...

You must never scramble your thoughts around me because I always pick up a very clear, "Oh golly gee, BeckEye is so cute, funny, and brilliant...I can't believe any one person can be so awesome."

Ed & Jeanne said...

All that and she had time to raise Forrest Gump too!

Chancelucky said...

I would love to see her put on that great hat from Flying Nun.

If you look at early Sally Field vs. latter Burt Reynolds Sally Field, you'll see that the "Girl with Something Extra" referred to more than ESP.

Johnny Yen said...

Oh my god, "The Girl With Something Extra" was buried so far in my conciousness... I'd completely forgotten that show. Thanks for resurrecting it.

Anonymous said...

I blame Sally Field for global warming. I don't know why, I just do.

X. Dell said...

Actually, I know what you're thinking right now. Stop that!

Dale said...

I know what you're all thinking. Thanks to your comments.