1/12/2009

One Store Closes, Another One Opens

It’s a new year and so with full heart and empty stomach, I decided it was time to settle the score with my old nemesis, the Korean Bagel Lady. There’s little that can’t be solved over a delicious BLT on a cheese bagel.

I was nearly blinded on approach by the high beam smiles of Mr. and Mrs. Korean Bagel Lady last week. How lovely I thought, they missed me (or at least my bagel and coffee revenues). I tried not to appear deflated as I learned the true source of their smiles – this was their last week in the building! It's no wonder they both looked as shiny as melted butter!

They’d decided to fold up shop, head for Panama (look out Canal!) for a couple of weeks vacation and then ease their way into retirement. I congratulated them on their news and they told me to be sure and return at the end of the week for a free bagel.

I did return but more in the hope of parting shots than a free bagel. KBL’s final conspiratorial warning was “be careful next week if you want bagel, new people I train not seem clean, I worry for customers”. I told her I doubted she’d be worried while she was on a beach and she cackled back “Yes, I worry only for the snowstorms you stuck in when I have no problem!” Mr. KBL chimed in with “I worry about having too much fun” as he made a motion like swinging a baseball bat. I asked “will you be playing baseball?” “No! It’s golf!” I told him I was worried too. We all shook hands and parted.

Under other circumstances, I might have felt sad but relief took its place knowing that I'd already found a replacement for KBL over the Christmas holidays. I went in to the convenience store (conveniently located) near my house to pick up a few things and the crotchety Asian counter lady there stole my heart.

I was in line behind a messy looking woman at the counter who was hemming and hawing over which of the multitude of scratch lottery tickets to buy. The Asian counter lady was regarding her with thinly veiled disgust while shaking her head and she waved me forward with my purchases.

As I came up to the counter beside her, the lottery lady turned and snorted at me ‘Hey! She’s serving me here, wait your turn’. The crotchety owner said to her “I don’t have time to wait for you!” and started ringing me up. This incensed the lotto lady. “I was about to buy a Bingo ticket honey but now I don’t know if I will!” The clerk said “Big deal, you take too long, get over it!” She turned back to me smiling as sweetly as she could and said “You have a nice day sir and Happy New Year!”. I smirked away from the counter while the lottery lady continued to rail on about convenience store protocol and turned in time to see my new heroine roll her eyes using her whole head.

I’m home again.

29 comments:

Bubs said...

it is so reassuring to see the universe return to some semblance of balance. At least your corner of the universe, anyway.

YOU GO NOW!

Cormac Brown said...

Cue The Who's "Substitute," only replace the lyric "I was born with a plastic spoon in my mouth," for "I was born with a BLT cheese bagel in my mouth."

AC@45 said...

As Bubs says .. I'm glad to see your in balance .. very FengShu

Helene (the Artist Formerly Known as Kate) said...

lol

oh and I am glad as it seems that your material for posts havent been packed up and shipped to Panama as well! Looking forward to hearing more about the new place!

Flannery Alden said...

Sounds like you may have a new ally rather than a new nemesis, unless of course you take too long with your scratchy lotto tickits.

Hahn at Home said...

I was worried, but I think you've found a very suitable replacement. She'll be annoyed with you just like KBL and it will be all good in the posting department.

SkylersDad said...

I have a friend from an old place I worked that always told me the universe is self-correcting.

I believe her even more now!

Les Becker said...

"...and turned in time to see my new heroine roll her eyes using her whole head. " A perfect line if ever I read one.

Some Guy said...

That's starting 2009 off on the right foot! You should ask the new Asian lady if she knows how to make bagels.

dguzman said...

Yay, free enterprise! Can't wait to read more about this lady's behavior.

katrocket said...

Proof that when one whore closes, another will open.

You have touched on my very own nemesis in this post: The Lotto CounterTerrorist. Oh how I hate their selfish, queue-blocking ways!

Gifted Typist said...

This could be the beginning of a beautiful thing

Dale said...

There's just the right amount of imbalance to keep me on my toes Bubs so it's a nearly perfect world right now. I will not mention my hatred of winter, work or other 'w' words for now.

What can I say to that Cormac except now I actually do want to hear "Substitute"? Born of makin' bacon maybe. That was bad. I'm sorry.

Indeed AC@45, the blog is facing just the right way.

Helene - I'm sure as my brain cells regenerate from all the holiday sugar shock, I'll figure out other things to tell y'all.

You're right Flannery, she and I could work together at least on neighbourhood domination (for now). Scratch scratch.

Eventually I'll piss her off Lori and then I'll have to find a new store to haunt.

The universe is unfolding as it should or so I'm told Skyler's Dad.

You know I love you when you say things like that right Les? Other times too.

She knows how to make friends Chris, so why not bagels?!

I'll have to drum up reasons to go visit her more DGuzman and write about it.

They're definitely to be scorned Katrocket with all their quirky ticket picking ways. A pox on them.

It well could be Gifted Typist but I'm not counting any eggs yet!

michaelg said...

But will Convenience Store Lady try to poison your coffee? You can't beat posion coffee.

FranIAm said...

Wait... no more KBL????

Distributorcap said...

you must have opened some time/space distortion with your warp drive - or the KBL has a phaser

Bluez said...

You couldn't get one little pic on your cell phone of the famous departing KLB? Now we're all left wondering. damn you

Dale said...

I love the smell of poison in the morning MichaelG! I sure hope she opens her bag of dirty tricks for me.

You'll just have deal and move on Fran, just like me!

She may well have one DistributorCap. Watch for news stories involving Panama over the next couple of weeks.

I could have I suppose Bluez but then the mystery would be too far revealed.

BeckEye said...

Just like Dionne Warwick before you, you never thought you'd love that way again. How wrong you were.

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I'm so happy that now one crotchety Asian lady has departed your life she has immediately been replaced by a whole shiny new set of stories-to-be.

Seriously though, BLT on a cheese bagel? Are you my twin separated at birth? I always ask for a BLT "without the L" as lettuce is the devil's food. It's more of a BT really... If I wanted green things in my sandwich I'd go chow down on some grass.

B.E. Earl said...

I hate those Lotto maniacs. Especially the ones that come in with an entire list of numbers that they are gonna play and they take up 10 minutes of the clerk's time. I wish I had this woman at my local store!

PJ said...

Korean Bagel Lady is no more, but I like the sound of this Asian Counter Lady. I hate when people hold up the queue, think on your own time!

Allison said...

Oh, I think there will be plenty of stories to come from this lady!

franki said...

I'm only half Asian but I feel I will someday reach the pinnacle of old Asian lady curmudgeoness. I practice daily.

You too fat!

You too slow!

You no like my good daughter!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I cried, then I laughed, then I cried again, and then I laughed some more. Bittersweet farewell to KBL and Mr KBL. Long live Asian Counter Lady!

Holly said...

I love this new crotchety person too. She sounds perfect for you, Dale. I hope your relationship with her works out--and I look forward to reading all about it.

X. Dell said...

See? I knew she liked you.

genn6 said...

It will be sad to see her go, but the adventures will continue with another militant Asian woman amd all is well in the universe.

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