It amuses me that people find the phrase 'to make a long story short' such a time waster that they go with the more economy minded 'long story short' instead.
My mother recently called my sister to say:
I was driving down a narrow street and cars were parked on both sides. The next thing I knew, my side view mirror was gone! And do you know how much it cost to replace? It was two hundred and some dollars! Can you imagine?!
She made no other mention of the hit and run parked car violation.