3/27/2008

Who Can Take A Nothing Day...

Now that Mary Tyler Moore's had all that freaky plastic surgery, the answer to the musical question 'Who can turn the world on with her smile?' is up for grabs again and I may know just the candidate.

I'm not generally known to be a shiny happy person anytime say, before 5 p.m. and lately when I go to get coffee from the Korean Bagel Lady, she's taken to saying things like "Why you not smile?" or "What's wrong? You look too serious today!". This of course forces me to smile and say "I'm fine!" while my brain screams "I'm fucking tired of winter and this coffee had better be good!"

If I happen to go for a hot beverage with the lovely Jessica, equal parts blonde and adorable, the Bagel Lady lights up like a Fourth of July Canada Day fireworks display and I fade into the background which suits me just fine.

When we stopped for coffee today, she looked at Jessica and said "Hi Sunshine!" and then turned to me and said "Hi Sundown". We all laughed and I died a little inside.

45 comments:

FranIAm said...

Hi Sundown! You can change the name of the blog now!!!

Oh my.

chelene said...

Jessica is a little ray of sunshine! (Say hi to her from me.) And say what you want about KBL but she's quite a comedian.

Suze's Sass said...

Man, that Bagel lady is a tough cookie. You must've done something, Sundown, to make her mad. Woman just don't do stuff like that unprovoked. Hee...I crack myself up.

WendyB said...

That made my day.

Falwless said...

This post made me feel better because someone was feeling worse than me. Thank you.

BeckEye said...

That's better.

KBL is awesome. I picture her like that little Asian lady character on Mad TV, except genuinely funny.

X. Dell said...

Well, I'm sure that being called 'Sundown' might have darkened your mood, somewhat--although I wouldn't make light of your hurt.

BTW, is there any such thing as 'bleached adorability'?

Mistress La Spliffe said...

Wow, you sound a bit pissed at the bagel lady. She better take care if you find she's been creeping round your back stairs. Sorry. I really like that song.

Anyhoo, spring's just around the corner.

The Freelance Guru said...

You know it's officially spring now! But I can't imagine you're the only person whose pissed off before your first coffee of the day.

Dale said...

How does The Gordon Lightfoot Sues The Korean Bagel Lady For Copyright Infringement Blog sound FranIam?

She is indeed, I'll have to get her to come to NY again so you can say hi in person. The KBL is much funnier than I'll ever be. If only I spoke Korean, she'd have many more gems I'm sure Chelene.

She's all leather and lace depending on her mood (and mine) Suze. Please keep cracking yourself up, it saves me time. :-)

Wendy B! I wonder what a Korean Bagel Lady jewelry design might look like? Maybe a pair of Kim Jong Il glasses on a tasteful chain?

I live to serve Falwless! If you need a litany of complaints and problems to measure up against, I'm your man.

And she looka likea man sometimes Beckeye. I think it's the hair.

You'd be surprised X. Dell that bleached adorability is an absolute possibility. I'm only mildly crankier than usual as my neck's been killing me for about a week, snow shoveling is to blame I believe.

I used to hate that song Mistress but now I sort of like it too. If I get too far out of line, KBL will whip me into shape. I harbour no long term plans for being angry at her.

Spring is sprung Freelance Guru but the weather looks like freezing rain. Ugh. It's almost over though, I hear you. How's the weather in merry olde England?

Chris said...

I went somewhere with my wife, Dagmar. It was obvious that the clerk knew my wife... "Hi Dagmar!" she cried in delight. She then looked at me. "Who's the grumpy old bastard?"

Some Guy said...

This post was just what the doctor ordered this morning. Thanks, Dale (Sundown)!

Jane Austen Jr. said...

You must be some kind of masochist, continually returning to the Korean Bagel Lady for your next beating. At least the rest of us are amused by the results! How very noble of you!

Old Lady said...

So, is Jessica a ray of sunshine for our little bee?

Chance said...

You brighten my day...

AC@45 said...

I was going to make a joke about Gordon Lightfoot, but it seems I was beaten to the punch ... Stand in front of the mirror and practice you smile muscles, they atrophy if not used enough.

katrocket said...

Oh Dale, don't be that way. Because it's YOU girl, and you should know it. With each glance and every little movement you show it.

Spring is coming! Hang on tight.

SkylersDad said...

Sundown? Wow, that smarts!

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

Do you think the KBL knows who Gordon Lightfoot is?

Grant Miller said...

I think the Bagel lady should get her own blog. It'd be entertaining as hell.

mellowlee said...

I'm with you on the winter thing. It's my first day off of a 9 day vacation, and it snowed here in Vancouver!!! ARGH

the princess said...

i was going to write a winter blah post tonight, but i feel so blah i don't think i will. thanks for yours though. we need some spring now, wha? greetings from the maritimes of canada

Distributorcap said...

hurry sundown!

your bagel is waiting

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I recently met someone whom I thought could take on the KBL, but now I am not so sure. Don't let her smell your fear, Dale!

Coaster Punchman said...

Sounds like you're about ready for an MTM, CP style.

Bluez said...

I think you should get a hold of some of those fake teeth, preferably with vampire fangs then test them out on KLB to see if she notices your smile. :-)

Flannery Alden said...

Maybe she could be the next guest host for Grant Miller Media? I think she's got the right attitude for it.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Maybe this is a really cryptic Gordon Lightfoot reference...













...that, or you got bagel-served

Dale said...

One of my life missions Chris is to eventually know someone named Dagmar just so I can say 'I was talking to my friend Dagmar...'. You don't sound grumpy to me.

Glad to help Mr. Some Guy. Can I have your doctor's number?

It is my duty to keep you posted on how KBL informs my left Jane Jr., Beckeye says so.

She's a ray of sunshine everywhere she goes Old Lady, I can make no claim to exclusivity.

Thanks Chance, glad to help.

It'll give me time off from looking for stray hairs or pimples to squish AC.

I should know it but generally always the last Katrocket. Holding on tight.

Or what smarts! Skyler's Dad. KBL loves me this I know for the threats of poisoning me have not come to pass.

No but I'd like to hear her pronounce his name BSUWG.

It'd be more entertaining than this one Grant Miller! I could set one up and ignore it the way I do this one.

I hope you find some sunshine to get rid of the stupid stupid snow Mellowlee. Enjoy your vacation.

The Maritimes have been hit pretty hard Princess, I'm beginning to think they've been very very naughty.

I'd never leave her home without it DCap.

I never let her smell my fear or see/smell my sweat Barb.

I'm almost there CP, I just need to find a way to have it be a surprise when I order it up myself.

30 Days of Night had some sexy chompers on display, I'll try and find some of those Bluez.

She'd win the fake prize money for sure Flannery.

As long as she doesn't say I look like The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald I'll take the bagel serve and run WP.

genn6 said...

sounds like KBL may be trying to make you jealous turning her affections to the lovely Jessica. Competition, ya know. Careful howyou mess with that woman, Sundown.

PJ said...

I hate when random strange people expect me to smile when I'm not feeling happy. It's like brutality.

Jewgirl said...

Hi Sundown?! I'm with Frannylish, that would make for a fab blog name.

I am so wild about the Korean bagel lady. She has no boundaries, none, not a one. This broad is the snatchiest of snatches.

wonderturtle said...

Everyone knows it's not a good joke unless someone's feelings get hurt.

pistols at dawn said...

That lady needs to start going to other coffee shops at night to work on her open mic skills.

Allison said...

It seems to be looking like spring a bit now? Its at least warmer in Ontario than I thought it would upon return.

VE said...

Ha ha ha I can see the lyrics now:

I can see her smiling crazy with her apron on
In the office lunchroom where the coffee is gone
Sundown ya better take care
If she finds you creepin round with that look of despair
Sundown ya better take care
She might pull a quick Melvin with your underwear

Gifted Typist said...

Dale, if you and KBL were in a movie you'd be Butch Cassidy and the Sundown Kid.

Chancelucky said...

We need to get Korean Bagel Lady her own blog.

Beth said...

KBL is just using her third-grade flirting techniques on you. How could she NOT smile when she sees Bee Boy buzz through her door?




I am so gonna kick her mean a** when I come to Toronto.

Tanya Espanya said...

I can't be the only one who reads KBL but pronounces it "Kibble"...

Beth? When are you coming up?

Holly said...

Dale, I thought you were the sun, the moon and the stars when I met you. I would like to introduce that Korean bagel lady to a 2X4 and let her experience a little sundown of her own.

Melly/Melody/or Mel said...

...have you seen the lady on 'Men in Trees?' I hear her voice whenever you mention KBL.

Too funny.

Melly/Melody/or Mel said...

Oh and...I thought Mary Tyler Moore had been in a house fire or something. She looks like a burn victim now.

Tenacious S said...

That's just sad. The person who serves you coffee has a mission to send you on your way ready to conquer the day. Geeze, I worked at Starbucks for years and even I know that. It's OK to be witty, but you shouldn't break a soul at 6 a.m. It's just unethical.

Dale said...

I'm happy that she focuses on others once in a while Genn6, I need the break! :-)

My mother used to sing to me PJ "It isn't any trouble just to S-M-I-L-E" which forced me to and also enraged me at the same time.

As long as you don't snatch her away while I'm hungry Jewgirl, you can borrow her for a nosh now and then.

She knows better than most Wonderturtle that I live for the pain!

She's using me to hone her skills on Pistols at Dawn, plus I think she sleeps behind the cage that protects her little corner of real estate at night.

The warmth is on the way Allison and man am I glad!!

I hope you're going to enter the American Idol songwriting contest VE, them's some awesome lyrics! Haha.

Gifted Typist, if I was in a movie, I'd want you to write it, excellent title!

She'd probably want a 3 blog development deal Chancelucky.

My bet is she'll make more fun of your accent than I will Beth!

Kibbles and Bits, another excellent blog retitling suggestion Tanya Espanya!

I love it when you're violent Holly. Will you be remaking 'Walking Tall' just for me?

Isn't the alien Ann Heche on that show Melly? I haven't actually seen it but now might to get a listen in on that character. Maybe they can hire Mary to play a burned tree?

My soul withers just having to get out of bed and go to work so I'm at diminished capacity to start with Tenacious S. She just gives me a little push.