1. Get the females fixed now, or you'll soon have about 12 kitties in your feral cat colony.
2. Once it gets cold, get some hay bales & make a fort somewhere for them. I pimped mine out with a heater, made from a 100 watt light bulb mounted to some wood and covered with a large tin can w/ some holes in it. They stayed cozy in that fort all winter. (See here for basic plans. But note: You don't need to heat sink or the black paint. It works fine just plain.)
3. Buy the absolute cheapest dry cat food. Giving them chicken all the time will spoil them and send you to the poorhouse.
So anything that romps in your garden (outside the ghost of Gene Kelly) will get fed pieces of chicken? As soon as Andy Dick makes bail, I'll have somebody bend his ear...hopefully he'll bring Natasha Lyonne.
Did I say there were three cats Fran? Two, just two now. I'm kidding, the only pain is that they won't come closer, they sense the evil within. Glad you enjoyed most of the audio.
Just do one Les! I'll get those mukluks to you I promise. Oh, and I grew up in Northern N.B. so I know a little about the cold. :-)
If only I had a uniform Flannery, I bet you'd love a man in uniform even more.
I remember your awesome good deeds toward the kitty kingdom Mr. Gas and you're to be commended. Did they yield lots of warm mittens eventually?
Thank you Skyler's Dad, I wondered if anyone would find that as funny as I did.
Better to stick with the kittens I say Pistols, they're nicer than most humans. I promise not to try and humanize you any further.
They love laying around in the dirt so I'm thinking they've picked a special spot to dig and scratch and bury their crap in Leonesse.
How dare you not make the appropriate or inappropriate jokes Suzel. Very disappointing. I don't have an accent do I? :-)
Anytime Coaster Punchman but know that you're leaving with furry gifts.
Very funny CB, I read in the paper today something about Andy and it said something about the drug use and the 'alleged' groping of the girl. I laughed because usually they put the alleged in front of all the allegations.
Nothing fishy about that Gifted Typist. And by the way, I've heard nothing but glowing lovely things about whatshername's visit.
Okay so I'm like the 83rd woman now to say this, but damn, I love your voice. It's so sexy. And so Canadian. "Aboot." If I could do one of those sexy growls I would insert it right here.
23 comments:
You know I have a certain weakness for the sound of your Canadian voice and your wry north-of-the-border humor as well.
And for kittens.
So Dale my darling boy, you really had me going there.
Until the fucking end.
Dale?!?
Were any kittens actually hurt in the producing of this podcast?
I'm hoping you get a bunch more... I'd like two pairs of mitts, please, along with some kitten-lined mukluks for hiking this winter.
I'm North-norther than you, Dale - you don't KNOW cold.
Let me know how the kitten population explosion goes - I'll try to get you some more orders.
LOVE the audios... wish I had the guts to do the same.
I love the continuing saga of Ranger Dale!
Speaking from experience here:
1. Get the females fixed now, or you'll soon have about 12 kitties in your feral cat colony.
2. Once it gets cold, get some hay bales & make a fort somewhere for them. I pimped mine out with a heater, made from a 100 watt light bulb mounted to some wood and covered with a large tin can w/ some holes in it. They stayed cozy in that fort all winter. (See here for basic plans. But note: You don't need to heat sink or the black paint. It works fine just plain.)
3. Buy the absolute cheapest dry cat food. Giving them chicken all the time will spoil them and send you to the poorhouse.
4. Take photos & post LOLcats regularly.
"Like Ed McMahon", Bwaaa ha ha haha
Don't humanize kittens for me, because I've already turned my heart against them. Wait, I hate people too.
Never mind.
Don't lose your mittens, you naughty kittens. Have they crapped in your landscaping yet?
Really there as so many offensive jokes that I could make, but I won't.
Thanks for the audio - you know I love your Canadian accent.
Can I come over to your house?
So anything that romps in your garden (outside the ghost of Gene Kelly) will get fed pieces of chicken? As soon as Andy Dick makes bail, I'll have somebody bend his ear...hopefully he'll bring Natasha Lyonne.
I'm like that with fish.
I go fishing and give them food,
they nibble around the hook and help themselves,
over and over.
Damn entitled fish
Did I say there were three cats Fran? Two, just two now. I'm kidding, the only pain is that they won't come closer, they sense the evil within. Glad you enjoyed most of the audio.
Just do one Les! I'll get those mukluks to you I promise. Oh, and I grew up in Northern N.B. so I know a little about the cold. :-)
If only I had a uniform Flannery, I bet you'd love a man in uniform even more.
I remember your awesome good deeds toward the kitty kingdom Mr. Gas and you're to be commended. Did they yield lots of warm mittens eventually?
Thank you Skyler's Dad, I wondered if anyone would find that as funny as I did.
Better to stick with the kittens I say Pistols, they're nicer than most humans. I promise not to try and humanize you any further.
They love laying around in the dirt so I'm thinking they've picked a special spot to dig and scratch and bury their crap in Leonesse.
How dare you not make the appropriate or inappropriate jokes Suzel. Very disappointing. I don't have an accent do I? :-)
Anytime Coaster Punchman but know that you're leaving with furry gifts.
Very funny CB, I read in the paper today something about Andy and it said something about the drug use and the 'alleged' groping of the girl. I laughed because usually they put the alleged in front of all the allegations.
Nothing fishy about that Gifted Typist. And by the way, I've heard nothing but glowing lovely things about whatshername's visit.
Meow! You've got my number, Dale.
A much better idea than the fur-lined jock strap I had in mind.
Doc
I'm shocked!!!
Ok, not really.
Hopefully a fourth one does show up, then you'll have two pairs of mittens. Rotation is key.
Kitten-lined mittens? Are you drawing enough cats to make tht profitable?
Whenever I wear certain high heels and I'm asked, "Are those comfortable?" I always reply, "It's like walking on kittens."
I do Flannery! So why don't I use it?! :-)
I dunno Doc, that sounds pretty nice, haha.
You did a good job feigning there Amy!
An excellent thought Allison. I'm going to need more chicken.
As long as I'm comfortable and warm X. Dell, and then I'll worry about profits.
What you say is true Tanya, I've heard it with my own tiny kitten ears.
I love your voice.
You sure get a lot of pussy, child.
I can barely keep up Katie, it's so hot!
Okay so I'm like the 83rd woman now to say this, but damn, I love your voice. It's so sexy. And so Canadian. "Aboot." If I could do one of those sexy growls I would insert it right here.
Hilarious post, as always, Dale. You are great.
I want you to want me Falwless. It's aboot time I 'fessed up on that.
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