8/04/2008

Trilogy of Terror - Wildlife Edition

Following my recent adventures in the animal kingdom, I should have just gone back to my regularly scheduled stint as a shut-in.

I was walking along the sidewalk of one of our main streets and didn't notice the pylon on the sidewalk until after I hit it with my left foot. There's been a lot of construction in the area and they sort of blend into the scenery for me.

When I tapped the side of this one, I looked down and sidestepped it and a rather massive raccoon. I jumped but it didn't. While fairly clean of coat, I'm sure the poor creature wasn't just sleeping off a long night's marauding, it was dead.

As hungry as I was at the time, my racing heart commanded that I shudder my way back home to safety. I've decided now that it's best if I limit my forays in the outside world to emergency situations only, for example, to see a movie.

30 comments:

FranIAm said...

This is Toronto, right? It is starting to sound a bit scary to me!

X. Dell said...

Bats aren't common road kill. Neither are bat men. Neither sounds very tasty.

I don't know how palatable raccoon is, though. But I think I'd pass up that meal as well.

Why is it nobody runs over a filet mignon?

Tanya Espanya said...

ugh, I'm so sick of the damn raccoons!

Suzel said...

I once saw a raccoon in my backyard. I haven't been out there since. Not that I'm afraid or anything.

mellowlee said...

I recently saw a sidewalk owning racoon, truckin' down Broadway in the middle of the day. Dead anything is grody Ew!

Doc said...

"What would Daniel Day Lewis do?"

Probably make it into a hat.

You need to be more careful Dale, as nature seems to have it in for you. Goodness, I hope this isn't an omen.

Doc

Bluez said...

So what did you think of "The Batman" movie? I couldn't get passed Christian Bale being batman since "American Psycho". Heath stole the movie.

Cap'n Ergo Jinglebollocks said...

maybe the pylon was put there to warn you bout the dead racoon??

zombie said...

You didn't cut off it's tail and tie it to your car antenna? That's what all the cool kids are doing...or so I hear.

Allison said...

Yes, best only venture out to watch The Dark Knight. Perhaps you shall pick up the Batman Robot voice and scare the raccoons for next time, if is a live one.

Falwless said...

You have the most interesting (and yet still delightfully mundane) life. Adopt me.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

One of these days I am going to learn to read because I am certain I read "python" and then was left wondering how it had turned into a raccoon suddenly.

Johnny Yen said...

While riding my bike home from school a few weeks ago, I had to swerve to avoid an enormous rat that was lying dead in the street. The next day, I had to swerve to avoid that same now-flattened dead rat on the street. Good to see that Chicago's Streets and Sanitation department got right on that.

Flannery Alden said...

I like the new look...

Flannery Alden said...

Did you get your hair cut or something?

Anonymous said...

Child, you are ready to move down South! Wait'll you see our possums.

Beth said...

Anonymous is me.

Jane Austen Jr. said...

You Torontonians and your wildlife adventures!

Chancelucky said...

Instead of "pylon", I initially read "python", so I was disappointed to learn that it was just a dead raccoon. I wonder if the movie would have been better if it had been Radcconman instead of Batman....

He'd probably have the same mask, I don't think of bats having masks or even eyes. He might have a little fur and maybe they could also turn that darned soundtrack off for a few minutes during the movie, since Raccoons really aren't all that noisy.

As for the python, it's good that you didn't step on one of those.

Les Becker said...

How can you turn down Coonburgers?! What kind of Canuckian do you call yourself?!

BeckEye said...

Your life is like a David Lynch movie.

The Freelance Guru said...

Later that racoon went home and told it's family how it totally freaked out this idiot human...

Dale said...

Toronto's only scary because you're not here Fran.

Cooked up in a stew, it'd probably be okay X. Dell but given my druthers, I'd pass on it too.

I know! They're like you Tanya - a menace!

So you have to go to the park now to play in the sandbox Suze? Tragic.

A lot of them are pretty 'owning' aren't they Mellowlee? Very very frightening me.

Or he'd at least make good use of it's left foot Doc.

I enjoyed the Dark Knight Bluez but it's a wee bit overhyped. Mr. Ledger was very memorable but the music overpowered some of the scenes and it was a tad lengthy with a lot of unnecessary bits and oh yeah, not enough Batman!

I think it was Cap'n, I just wish they'd have taken it away rather than set up an early warning system.

If only I hadn't been practically running in horror Zombie, I might have thought of that! Can you come get it and do that for me?

Good idea Allison, I need more wonderful toys!

Oh but it's a high gear mundane Falwless. I'll adopt you if I can sell the photos to People magazine.

As soon as I typed pylon, I thought python Barbara so we're both strange now.

A story to tug at the heartstrings that is Johnny Yen. I'm surprised the raccoon is gone now and not just decaying.

No, I'm wearing glasses Flannery, sunglasses, in the house.

Is that what you're calling them now Beth? I'll be right over to inspectigate.

Oh, it's like a zoo Jane Jr, just without the bars and the squealing children.

You're another weird one Chancelucky, python indeed! Barbara, you know CL right? Good thinking on the adjustments to the movie.

Only if you tell me your secret recipe Les, just to keep my Canuckian status intact.

It is Beckeye but with a smaller budget and more plot.

It probably did too Freelance Guru. Any time I'm in a car and see a dead raccoon on the road, I always wonder 'now why would that silly thing lay down there and have a nap?'.

Coaster Punchman said...

Coons are mean sons of beotches, but I still feel saddened to hear of this dead guy. Sniff.

Chris said...

A couple years ago someone lit our neighbor's house on fire. It was right around Christmas, a very very cold day. I don't think it got above zero that day.

So we're all gathered around watching the firemen pull up in their shiny red trucks, their long coats flapping in the wind. They eventually started playing with their hoses, the climax being when they sprayed down the hot spot. (That came out wrong, didn't it.)

Anyway, the runoff water from the hydrant and hoses was all going down the storm drain right in front of my house. I happened to glance over that direction just in time to see a HUGE raccoon come scrambling up out of the storm drain, shake himself off and waddle up the alley. He was an unhappy raccoon... Suddenly wet and homeless on a frozen day.

Dale said...

I could always pack him up and ship him to you CP.

That's a pretty awesome story Chris and well told I might add. I want to see the movie now!

Cormac Brown said...

So let me get this straight, Dale. Monty Pylon killed Rocky Raccoon?

Dale said...

Haha, it could well be Cormac Brown!

pistols at dawn said...

Outside is for suckers and grizzled men with impressive beards and ennui-filled eyes that would look confused at the word ennui, my friend - stay safe.

Dale said...

Thank you Pistols, I will. Nature is messy and stupid and can stay outside.