4/22/2007

Things I Hate Vol. 912

This is a funny cartoon to me because all my ties say fuck you. If I was to send this to you, I would probably write something lame in the subject line like Attitude is Everything. The cartoon speaks for itself and does not require endorsement.

My spider sense always starts tingling when I get an email telling me before I get to the joke that THIS IS HILARIOUS!! Worse is when people send along something like: Here's a cartoon about a boss giving an employee crap because of a bad attitude and the guy is wearing a tie that says Fuck You. You're gonna love it! Have a look!

It also makes me crazy when people name files in an obvious manner: maninfuckyoutiewithbosssayinghehasanattitudeproblem.jpg

As you can see, it takes very little to knock me off balance. The best part is that I inevitably find out later that the things I've railed on and on about are exactly the things I've been guilty of in the first place. Fuck you.

26 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

What? You don't like people hitting you over the head with the punchline before they tell you the joke? Sheesh, what a curmudgeon! You probably demand that the joke be funny as well, or something equally ridiculous.

Jake's Mom said...

Abso-frickin-lutely marvelous. You hit it right on the head. I can fully understand you're twisted take on life.OH NO!!

John Mutford said...

See I quite expected your label to read "My Rant About People Who Give Away Punchlines Such As Giving You A File Labeled 'maninfuckyoutiewithbosssayinghehasanattitudeproblem' And Then Showing You A Cartoon About A Man In A 'Fuck You' Tie At His Office While His Boss Tells Him Some People Think He Has An Attitude Problem". I'm glad you're not predictable like that.

On old sitcoms, I've noticed that whenever someone hands someone else a Christmas present, they say some crap comment like "I hope you like it, it's a sweater." Does the surprise not matter at all? "No, I won't like it. I hate sweaters. I'm not even going to bother opening it. In fact, I'm going to ram it down your throat." Insert canned laughter.

Coaster Punchman said...

Glad to see you continuing down your path of hatred & vitriol!

Mistress La Spliffe said...

I think deep down it's not the ruination of already decrepit punchlines that bothers me about such situations, but the fact that even though I'm looking at a computer and not into the face of a fragile ego waiting to be validated by my amusement, I still feel guilty if I don't pretend to laugh. God, I miss my analyst.

Bluez628 said...

I had a tie just like that in the 80's.

Dale said...

I'd prefer just being hit over the head period Barbara. Especially if it's by you.

Again with the hitting on the head Jake's Mom. Hatred begets violence, it's a fact!

I'm predictable most of the time but just this once, I knew I had to break out John. Plus I didn't think of it. I appreciate canned laughter, it shows me where to place my disdain.

Thank you Coaster Punchman, it's the type of support I revel in.

Luckily, these sessions are bargain basement priced Mistress La Spliffe. I hereby absolve you from ever even being amused by my silly posts.

You are my hero Bluez628. Photo evidence is not required although it is welcome.

justacoolcat said...

Sincethejokeisobviousandtotallyunrealisticalmostasbadasacarcommercialthebossshouldatleasthaveabaseballbattoclobberthefuckyoutieguy.gif

Bubs said...

The only thing better than that cartoon is browsing it at work on company time and then printing it out on their printer.

Tanya Espanya said...

Obviously, you didn't get the joke about the tie so I can explain it to you, if you'd like.

Fearless said...

I hate it when all my friends get the same viral video that's been circulating the web for weeks and all decide to send it to me on the same day.

You forgot "Haterade" in your labels.

Oh, and Fuck You too, bitch!d

X. Dell said...

First rule of comedy is to never telegraph your punchlines. The other first rule of comedy is to never telegraph the fact that you're telling a joke.

Dale said...

Careful or you'll find me forwarding all the lamest jokes your way Coolcat!

Mission accomplished X. Dell many times over.

How was your baby shower Tanya? Any fisticuffs or cartoons break out? Yes, please explain.

I thought hateration covered it Fearless but I'll think on that. Thank you for your sunshine added comment.

Your second first rule makes more sense to me than the first but then I've never operated a telegraph machine. I bet you saw that coming didn't you?

Johnny Yen said...

I've mentioned in my blog before a teacher I had in high school who used his ties to make the same message-- he taught "Consumer Education," which fell under the aegis of the Business Department, and was told he had to wear a tie. He proceeded to have his wife make him ties made with Disney themed cloth. Not surprisingly, he was canned a year later.

I guess he got the last laugh-- when his father died, he inherited his father's company here in Chicago-- the company that makes the Oscar trophies.

justacoolcat said...

Hey! My comment was cut off. Eh, it was probably for the best.gif

Dale said...

I would have fired him too because I hate novelty ties apart from the fuck you variety Johnny Yen. I may have regretted it though for the Oscar inheritance. It's too bad they don't give them out for blogs, you'd be a shoe in.

Your brilliance still managed to shine through Justacoolcat.jokemocker.com

Flannery Alden said...

I think maybe you should switch to bolo ties...it might add a bit of joie de vivre you seem to lack when it comes to neckwear.

And fuck you too, darling.

Big Orange said...

when people say "fuck you" what exactly DO they mean? That they WANT to fuck you? Then there's a LOT of people I need to say 'fuck you!" to.

Who's doing the fucking in this case? WHAT'S doing the fucking? If you said, "fuck you with a broom handle" that would carry more weight than just 'fuck you', wouldn't it?? "Fuck you with a lug wrench" or "fuck you with a Golden Globe Award rolled in baked sand" is better, no??

Bella Rossa said...

Ha ha! You made me laugh out loud four times in the course of this post. That's more than actual comedy has made me laugh in the last week. Thanks, Dale!

Oh, and I'd like to borrow one of your "fuck you" ties sometime to wear with my favorite pair of "fuck you" boots.

Your labels are getting funnier and funnier too.

Dale said...

Bolo ties Flannery? Well fuck me.

The Golden Globe Award rolled in baked sand sounds the most painful Big Orange so that's what I mean from now on.

Thanks Bella, I'm only doing your job. Maybe I'll start a new series called Labels for Bella!

Jill said...

You hate a lot of thing!! vol. 912???
And lying with it!!!

Dale said...

I love a lot of things too Jill but that gets boring no?

Valerie said...

Don't read "Some Guy's Blog" anytime soon. He's breaking down comic strips by very minute details. I'm sure it would send you over the edge.

Dale said...

I slipped over the edge so long ago Valerie that it'll have no effect but to make me laugh, like I always do when I'm over there.

filmbuff said...

You think thats bad...I went to Blockbuster recently to buy the film Buried. After entering my pin number and paying for it the girl behind the counter says to me, "Have you seen it?"
I said,"No, but I hear it's very good"
She then tells me the ending of the film and laughs in my face. Can you believe it. I was speechless untill something brilliant to say finally occured to me. I looked at her proudly, locked eyes with her and said, "Fuck you". What a bitch!

Dale said...

I applaud and endorse your handling of the situation filmbuff!