11/02/2007

You're Soaking In It

Several years ago, I saw an ad in a magazine for a new adult diaper that was made to look more like one of those pull ups things all the leaky kids wear.

Being one to support great advancements in all aspects of life, I picked up the phone and dialed the get a free sample! number. I left my pal Tanya Espanya’s name and address.

Flash forward several months and there I sat at a Tanya family gathering when she recounted how a pair of ‘big underwear’ had shown up in the mail out of the blue. Big underwear? I asked having forgotten about my good deed. Yeah, some kind of incontinence pants shaped like underwear!

I confessed that I was the good Samaritan who’d sent them. I don’t think anyone laughed so hard they peed but if they had, she really could have been a hero that day instead of a victim.

It’s Tanya’s birthday today and although she’s temporarily blogged out, I wanted to remind her not only of the special moment we shared that day but also that she’s not getting a new gift until I have proof she’s used her special pants.

37 comments:

Tanya Espanya said...

I've hung on to that big underwear, saving it for a special occasion.

Today is the day!

I'm soaking in them now.

Stay tuned, fans, I'll have my new blog up and running soon.

Feel free to give me some name ideas (via email, dummies!)

Skylers Dad said...

Great idea for a gag Dale! I love it. There was a similar thing that I used to do years ago. During the Denver Stock show, there used to be a lot of booths set up to order items from these ranchers and cattle guys.

I would always pick up brochures to have small "samples" of different bull semen delivered to a couple of my buddies who had moved out of state.

The folks at the Stock show caught on that most of this was being delivered as a joke and stopped it, much to my disappointment!

Hot Lemon said...

I dunno-- there's a lovely crinkly effect to the waistband reminiscent of Slartybartfast's handiwork.

Meanwhile, Dale, you're sick, and we all lurve U for it.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Happy birthday, Tanya. You don't look old enough to wear the Depends yet, but it's never too early to get prepared for the inevitable. Make sure you are wearing fresh ones in case you get hit by a bus.

Bella Rossa said...

Oh...now I think I know why I got a giant purple sparkling dildo in the mail last week.

Or was I internet shopping drunk again? I forget.

pistols at dawn said...

I used the ol' "my friend's name and address" trick when I went on a tour of the Mormon temple in Salt lake. Those missionaries don't quit, and I haven't stopped laughing.

X. Dell said...

(1) Happy Birthday, Tanya.

(2) I guess you were the only leak at that dinner, Dale.

Beth said...

I'm gonna pee in my pants in Tanya's birthday honor!

BeckEye said...

Aw, happy birthday to Tanya. We should all crush her.

Dale, my birthday is in February. I could really use a penis pump. According to all of my spam emails, my dick isn't nearly as large as it should be.

is that so wrong? said...

Am I the only one who finds it disturbing that the product photo of the bunchy underwear has it being stretched to maximum capacity by a clear circular disc? As if that's how they envision the underwear form fitting to the human body?

Suzel's Sass said...

Is that a subtle hint for a Christmas time gift for you? I'll put that on my list.

Missy said...

LMAO. What a great friend!!

Reese said...

If the new ones are made to look like kid's pull ups ... I'm wondering what the old ones looked like.

Did they have sticky tabs on the side ... or old skool safety pins?

he he he

mellowlee said...

Haha! What a thoughtful friend you are Dale! Happy Birthday Tanya! It's my son Devon's birthday today too.

chelene said...

Happy Birthday, Tanya!

And Dale is there no end to your hilarity?

Dale said...

Let your love flow Tanya Espanya.

I bet your gag made your friends gag a little Skyler's Dad! That's hilarious. Can I have your mailing address? No reason.

If you couldn't hear the crinkling as you played tennis, swam or went horseback riding, how would you know it was working Hot Lemon?

Barbara's right Tanya, what would the bus driver think?

You never forget your first sparkling dildo Bella, unless it's not your first.

Devious in the best possible sense of the word Pistols.

I'm the only one that'll admit to the leakage problem X. Dell.

That's what friends are for. Makes you feel kind of warm doesn't it Beth?

You've got big balls to comment like that Beckeye. My big day is in February too, maybe we'll compare.

You haven't met Tanya have you ITSW? They've captured her perfectly.

I've got a whole box of them Suzel, back to the drawing board please.

Her reaction was worth all my hard work Missy.

I think the old ones were just bunched up towels Reese.

Happy Birthday Devon! Hi Mel. I am thoughtful, thank you for thinking so.

It's her end I was worried about Chelene.

Jake's Mom said...

Are you enticing TE into creepy astronaut stalking territory Dale? Have you no shame..or did you forget where you put it?;)

Dale said...

She's got the stalking thing down pat Jake's Mom, now if I could just launch her into space!

I wear my shame all over the place.

Bella Rossa said...

This is off-topic, but I thought you'd be interested: a recent update on Natasha Lyonne. Unfortunately, it's somewhat tragic. She's alive but apparently really, really sick and not in control of her drug problems.

Distributorcap said...

tanya is one lucky girl.........did you get a lifetime supply

Allison said...

Ah, that's a fine prank. Well played. Happy (belated) Birthday to Tanya!

Tanya Espanya said...

Tee hee! Thank you all you lovely bloggies!

My big underwear thanks you too.

Coaster Punchman said...

Since Pistols brought up the Mormons, I might as well.....ah forget it, it's too easy.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Oh, good, Tanya will have a blog again...whew!

Jacy said...

There are so many people I'd like to do that to.

Jill said...

Poor Tanya, with a friend like you Dale, she never has a dull day!!

Dale said...

Some very sad sightings there Bella, thanks for the link. Wouldn't it be great to hear something good about her now?

She got one, I've got a whole stockroom full of them Distributorcap. If you need any, remember the exchange rate when you order.

I'm looking for my next victim Allison, be nice to me.

Don't forget to change yourself Tanya, your personality I mean.

I'll do it then CP, I wonder if their underwear is as absorbent, we know it's complicated already.

And December Will Be Magic Again too WP. Sorry, Kate Bush temporarily took over my brain waves.

Start scouring the free samples offers Jacy.

She did have one back in the 1980s Jill but it wasn't my fault, I was out of town.

Jane Austen Jr. said...

Happy birthday, Tanya!

And that's pure genius, Dale!! I may have to pull similar pranks in lieu of Christmas presents this year...

Franki said...

Oh this is brilliant. Must go find free samples now. Brilliant.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Sorry, Kate Bush temporarily took over my brain waves."

I will take comfort that you will be able to run up that hill, with no-ooo problems. That, and better Kate Bush than George.

Jill said...

Does your ego fits in door??

Dale said...

You should do it Jane Austen Jr, it would bring new meaning to Christmas Cheer.

Do it Franki! I fully support your quest.

Thank you for understanding. I never bring up George willingly although he makes me bring up a little bit.

I've had my doorways widened so my hips and my ego fit through Jill.

Jill said...

Unless your picture advantage way too much your figure, I think that it is your ego, and not your hips that don't go through your doorways!!

genn6 said...

Happy birthday tanya! what a great idea for a gift!!!!

Dale said...

Right again Jill, my ego is massive.

I knew she'd like it Genn6 or at least be mystified.

gifted typist said...

Dale, I hope I know you in a few years time when this becomes an issue for me. I hope you will send me promo nappies

Dale said...

You're on the mailing list GT!