11/21/2007

Rainy Days & Wednesdays

Having weathered the shock of seeing the words fuck and fucking show up in the Metro newspaper recently, I was nearly asleep again until someone turned the volume way up.

In the review of Serj Tankian’s solo album Elect The Dead, mention was made of his touring band, the Flying Cunts of Chaos (FCC). Now that I’ve seen the word cunt in a widely circulated daily newspaper, I feel I can move on with my life.

Taking over the top spot in my outrage will now be something I wonder about every time it rains. Why do people carry umbrellas roughly the size of a four man tent especially when they're not super sized themselves? Apart from the potential danger to passersby, they look ridiculous. Side note to Rihanna– the word umbrella has only three syllables.

Bonus thought for the day: People are like antibiotics, best taken in small doses. Or is it massive doses with antibiotics? It's no secret why I'm not paid to think.

29 comments:

Beth said...

Who needs to study ancient philosophers when we have Passion of the Dale?

p.s. I get such a thrill out of saying "cunt." It's fun to type, too.

Coaster Punchman said...

Get Poor George to talk to you about the Chinatown ladies with their umbrellas. Then prepare to sit and listen for 30 minutes or so while he bellows on & on.

Hahn at Home said...

Thank you Dale for telling that Ri-ha-n-na how it is!

Jacy said...

I love that you've created a tag ... a label?? ... simply called "cunt."

That made me howl.

I love that word!!!

Sincerely,

Cuntella McCuntface

Jake's Mom said...

That's no more than 10 days in a row.
And some men should be like kleenex...soft and disposable (according to Mrs. White)

X. Dell said...

(1) If you take people in small doses, you're just innoculating the disease.

(2) Little people with big "umberellas" are hoping they'll learn how to fly, like Mary Poppins.

Chancelucky said...

Do they have pro-biotics somewhere? Maybe to help if you take too big a dose of the Anti variety?

pistols at dawn said...

First your crazy duck dollar's worth more than ours, and now you can curse in Canadian papers, too? If you guys would just get rid of that French thing, we will have officially lost to Canada.

If you guys have cheaper housing, I'm in.

Reese said...

Daley, I bought a gigantic umbrellas at the Saan store a while back. It was only like 2.99 or something, but I LOOOOVE it. It keeps my clothes completely dry, but still has the potential to poke someone's eye out. It's good for share-sies, too.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

It's about fucking time! I'm going to write to those cunts at my local paper to complain that they are not keeping up with national standards.

wapentake said...

You might like this story from The Guardian:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/weekend/story/0,,2135044,00.html

Dale said...

One of my favourite expressions which I use very carefully and more usually in my head Beth is stunned cunt.

I'll have to ask him about the Chinatown Umbrella Follies next time CP.

She's too much isn't she Ms. Hahn? I liked it when Sarah Silverman said that Um-ber-el-la was actually her mother's name.

Cunt. It says it all Jacy doesn't it? Where do you live? Cunttown?

I prefer the stronger meds Jake's Mom and the stronger Kleenex too.

How about if I take the people to an island and just leave them there X. Dell?

But what of the AmateurBiotics Chancelucky? They need funding and love too.

Mon dieu, merde, other French curse words I can't spell. When we get the newfangled affordable housing, I'll call you Pistols. Actually, we've got a pretty good welfare game going here, you might be able to get in on that.

That's pretty cheap for a fairly effective weapon Reese, I applaud your choice, just keep it away from me unless I'm all wet, like I usually am.

Stunned cunts is what they are Barbara! Do it!

Funny stuff Wapentake. I wish I was in Dixie, I mean Europe where I'd laugh at my prudishness.

Allison said...

I was thinking the same thing today while walking and dodging umbrellas. I'm investing in a hood now, as its too much of a workout trying make sure my retinas stay intact.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

I never understood the whole "huge umbrella" thing until I lived in Pittsburgh. I'd suspect Seattle residents go through the same process. See, it rains a LOT here. Back when I lived in D.C. and had to walk to the metro every day, I could get by with a tiny umbrella. But when it rains constantly, you start to get really fed up with moisture. So you get the 4-man tent job. Looks ridiculous, but really keeps you dry from head to toe.

Blowing Shit Up With Gas said...

By the way, some people here call umbrellas bumbershoots.

BeckEye said...

An umbrella the size of a four-man tent deserves an extra syllable, don't you think?

Oh, and I've never in my life called an umbrella a bumbershoot. Let's see Rihanna try to work that word into a song!

katrocket said...

Conversely, it amuses me to see very large people struggling with those tiny crappy fold-up umbrellas.

Hot Lemon said...

but thank gawd we're banning The Golden Compass and Catholic bishops are telling us how to vote. thank GOD we've got our priorities fucking-cunting straight.

mellowlee said...

I agree 100% that people are like antibiotics.....especially after a weeks worth of Vancouver Transit!!!!

Bluez said...

there's something about that "c" word . I just can not bring myself to ever use that word in any context. See i can't even write it!

Dale said...

I didn't figure you for a hood Allison but I see the merit.

I prefer to have a team of people doing everything they can to prevent the rain from damaging my coif BSUWG. How they do it is up to them. Bumbershoots? That seems wrong.

You're right Beckeye, it does, all apologies to Rihanna. She'd probably shorten bumbershoots.

And riding on tricycles too I'll bet Katrocket.

We're just trying to raise the ire of the Hot Lemon, Hot Lemon. (I sent H.L. a link from one of our newspapers about the possible removal of one of his favourite books from our school libraries).

Uh oh, what kind of trouble are you causing now Mellowlee? I'll be over to check on you shortly.

You're giving the word more power than you're giving yourself Bluez but that's alright too. I won't make you say it.

Jill said...

You have to take all the antibiotics, do we have to do the same with people??

Bluez said...

Can you audio blog your imitation of KLB just so we get an idea of what she sounds like?

It would so make my day Dale. :-)

Dale said...

I know I can't take all of the people Jill.

That's a tall order Bluez, I could never do her justice.

Hot Lemon said...

got one for you: some dude wearing a black tee-shirt with big block letters on it with the phrase IF YOU CAN READ THIS I'M EATING YOUR PUSSY written on it upside down.

what a winnah...

jewgirl said...

love this post. "flying cunts of chaos". do you know how happy I am right now?!

we are so on the same page re: people. oy vey.

Dale said...

Okay Hot Lemon, I'll wear it! Thanks.

Damned people Katie. Let's go live together alone on separate desert islands.

Old Lady said...

Big bumper shoots are to keep the perimeter and purses dry, not to mention le derriere.(sp?)

But words are words. Fuck and Cunt are only nasty because we say so. Innit?

Dale said...

Absolutely right Old Lady. Words can be powerful but shouldn't be overpowering.