Today marks the Chinese New Year. Can you guess how I know this?
A) I'm culturally sensitive and aware
B) I'm always looking for a new holiday
C) I drank flavoured coffee and had a run in with the Korean Bagel Lady.
I went to get coffee yesterday and as I was pouring a cup, the Korean Bagel Lady said something that sounded like this: .
I said I have no idea what you just said to which she replied I showing you that I am bilingual. You're very talented I smiled back but I still can't understand you. She said it again and I asked if it meant Dumbass in Korean. She laughed and tried to ring in my coffee but jammed the cash register. As she was pressing buttons to clear it I said I guess I'm not the only one who doesn't understand you. She glared at me and I left.
Moments later, I realized that I was drinking some sort of disgusting flavoured coffee and returned to the scene of the crime. I told the First Lady of Bilingualism that the pots may have gotten switched as this was flavoured coffee. You probably took the wrong one she accused. It wasn't my fault I countered and I hate flavoured coffee. I hate you so we even! She said it with a smile so I waited until later to cry.
I asked about the phrase she'd used earlier that I didn't understand and she said she was wishing me a Happy New Year in Chinese. I thought you were Korean? Yes, I Korean but I'm not stupid and I bilingual. We laughed and then she tried to teach me to say the phrase. In between me trying to say it, she also told me she thinks I slouch when I walk and I must stand straighter. So nice to know others are kind enough to tell me my posturing is getting on their nerves.
After a few efforts, it almost sounded like I was saying Happy New Year and I guess to congratulate me she said what sounded like Now you can bo me. My mind raced - did she just ask me to blow her? Reacting to the puzzled look on my face, she repeated Now you can bo me but this time it sounded more like Now you can bone me. I was really nervous but her husband wasn't around so hmm... Before I could give her my final answer, she bowed to me. Oh, you want me to bow to you! I did and walked away as tall, proud and relieved as I could be.