10/09/2007

I Light Up Her Life

Seeing as how I’m now closer to the Korean Bagel Lady than to some of my immediate family, she knew I'd been to New York on the weekend.

This morning when I went for my bagel, she asked how my trip was. When I told her I was stuck in the airport for 6 hours due to fog in New York and cancelled flights, she laughed and said You make me so happy now! You were alone? No, I answered, I was with a friend so it wasn’t so bad. Her smile faltered. Oh, that too bad, it better if you suffer alone but for 6 hours waiting, I am now so happy still! She smiled again and laughed.

She then commanded Tell me some special place you go in New York, the Empile State Beerding? No, but I did see The Frick Collection which was very nice. She shook her head and made a face like I’ve never heard of it so it can’t have been any good. As I picked up my bagel and said see you later, she laughed and shook her head: 6 hours! Hahahaha!

Is it progress that she didn’t overtly call me dumbass this time?

32 comments:

Allison said...

I wonder if the voice I have in my head of the Korean Bagel Lady, matches with the reality. She her laugh close to a cackle?

Bubs said...

Maybe she thought you meant the Flick Correction, and she was too confused to call you dumbass.

Coaster Punchman said...

I'm not sure I understand the complexities of your unfolding relationship with KBL. I like it, though.

T said...

She reminds me of another cold-hearted bastard that thoroughly enjoys other's misfortunes.

She reminds me of me.

Keith Kennedy said...

We're thinking she's warming up to you. It won't be long before an oriental massage with a "happy ending" for you!

Chancelucky said...

Perhaps you could get an audio excerpt of the Korean Bagel Lady herself to put up here.

Suzel's Sass said...

She's either close to proposing or close to poisoning your coffee. Let me know which one huh?

BeckEye said...

I like this lady more every day.

I'm with Chancelucky on this one...you totally have to smuggle a hidden tape recorder in there the next time you go.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Whew, she has a little Kim Il Jong in her, doesn't she?

What are her hobbies? Doing forty in a school zone in a massive SUV and narrowly missing children? Tying emergency lines up with cloned phones of other people's numbers? Drowning kittens? All three simultaneously?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

She probably figured you were swearing at her when you told her about the Frick collection.

I can't help wondering what she would look like in dominatrix gear.

Old Lady said...

The woman has your number. She is definitely looking for some fun verbal parley and has determined that you are filled with brilliant witticisms and bon mots.

Old Lady said...

That pod cast thingy doesn't work, or do I have to have an ipod?

pistols at dawn said...

I need a nemesis. I will accept applications presently.

Tenacious S said...

I think she likes you...in the same way that second grade girls like second grade boys. I bet she'd push you down in a mud puddle if she could.

X. Dell said...

The Frick collection is nice. But if you're not carefull, you'll have a wife upon your hands soon. I think she's got the love jones.

Toadee said...

I think everyone should have a KBL in order to be reninded of mans frailty

Distributorcap said...

i love the Frick, i love Bagels
does that mean i love her?

Jake's Mom said...

You are entering Mama Jin territory. Beware!! Velly flunny.

668 aka neighbour of the beast said...

i so want to visit her next time i'm in toronto!

chelene said...

Barbara's Frick comment cracked me up. I still say the the KBL is wooing you. She's hot one minute, cold the next. I know her game - she's a sly one.

Dale said...

It is like a cackle Allison. The beauty of it is that the laugh is the most understandable thing she 'says'.

Bubs! That was highlarious, it took me a few seconds to figure out what you meant because you know, I'm a dumbass.

I'm not sure either CP and it worries me. She now sometimes gives me a "I'm not talking to you" flip of the head as I approach but then grins and starts talking. I get about every third word.

You really should be in the service industry T. It's not often we find our true calling. Bastard.

I'm sure I have no idea what you mean Keith. By Oriental.

That's been on my mind Chancelucky or I could just squeeze a cat maybe and pass that off as her.

She has made cracks about poisioning my coffee Suzel so now you're more suspect than ever! Who sent you?

It might be worth the fun Beckeye, I'll consider it. She might just fall for the Speak Louder into my pocket routine.

Write Procrastinator, you've just written her E-Chaos dating profile!

She'd still look short and bossy for sure Barbara. She does wear bedazzled jeans sometimes, I'm not sure what that means. I wonder what she'd think I was saying if I went for a 'frig off'?

You're far sweeter than she Old Lady and that's a fact. I think she just wants my couple of bucks a day and by bucks, I mean... The audio thing should work and I don't think you need an iTunes thing but I'm no wizard. Somebody? Help?

There should be quite a line forming Pistols but would anyone be worthy enough an opponent?

She'd at least pour a pot of coffee on me if provoked Tenacious S.

X. Dell, sing it with me - Love jones, never meant to beeeeee....She can't have me that easily.

She reminds me Toadee as do many other people in the course of a day, luckily I'm deaf and too lazy to read lips most of the time. (I'm not deaf, but I am dumb.)

Truly, Madly, Deeply Distributor Cap, it's all over for you. I noticed that Au Bon Pain has those cheese bagels you were wondering about.

It's funny, I feel like I'm somehow ripping off Mama Jin when I write about the KBL Jake's Mom but then I look at one of CP's videos and shudder, they're different animals.

I'll give you directions 668, she's fairly close to where your boyfriend George works.

I'm just glad her husband isn't working there anymore Chelene, he always got in the way. You're on to us.

Jill said...

Get her a whip!! You just didn't understood that your fiancé likes pain!!
And when going to my blog, please leave a more meaningull comment!!

Dale said...

You're not the boss of me Jill, she is.

Jill said...

Still listen to my advices!! You know that I'm right!!

Writeprocrastinator said...

As song by KBL:

You, You light up my life
You give me hope to vent my
frustations on
Verbally abuse you for days
And fill your ears with scorn
It can't be wrong, when you scream
in the night

Cause you, you light up my life

Dale said...

You're more left than right Jill. Quit pretending.

WP, you're my new hero for the excellent lyrics even if you've proven to be evil lately on your blog to me. I bet if we gave Debbie Boone 20 bucks, she'd rerecord it this way.

Jill said...

You are getting me mad, DAle!! I never remember which one is liberal or socialist, or conservative or whatever it is!! Too damn bad I was not listening through out my whole politic class!!

Dale said...

I like it when you're fiery Jill. Careful not to explode.

genn6 said...

I think KBL loves you...isn't that how the best relationships start? "When I first met him ,I hated him...."

Dale said...

You might be onto something there Genn, just don't tell her husband!

Jill said...

Dale, when I know I'm about to explode I imagine kicking your ass and it relieve me!

Dale said...

I'm here to help Jill.