How Soon Is Now?

Beckeye of The Pop Eye recently sent me a list of demands, alright, questions but she did demand that I answer them. I'm happy to do it and say that it hasn't been easy. She appeals to my vanity, my jackassery and puts me on the spot in ways only she could.

1. You've introduced me to some great bloggers: Johnny Yen, Barbara Bruederlin and X-Dell just to name a few. All of the folks I've found through your links are talented and entertaining writers, yet they also seem to worship you as some kind of blogGod - myself included. Are you actually the glue that holds all of Blogdom together? Or is Write Procrastinator really the glue, through whom I found you?

I'm more like the sticky stuff you find on the bottom of your shoe Beckeye and since even disorganized religion is suspect in my eyes, Write Procrastinator must be honoured and blamed for everything. I'm not worried about this charge because he can write his way out of anything! Just about every person on my list is responsible for casting a spell on me for which I'm grateful. They make blogging fun and worthwhile. Except for that one guy.

2. I noticed on your profile that your first-listed interest is Opera. Were you being sarcastic or do you really think that you're better than everyone else?

Clearly, I'm better than everyone else especially if I'm the only one in the room. Opera (cue the Endless Love music, My first love...) was introduced to me a few years ago in the form of some free tickets and there was no looking back, just up, at the Surtitles. I love culture in all its forms, even the petrie dish kind.

3. You're from Canada. Can you explain what was up with Nell's deviant relationship with Dudley Do-Right's horse? Is that something that goes on often in your part of the world?

At first I was puzzled by this question until the first image I found seemed to lend credence to your charge. I think it's got something to do with her name. Remember that whole Chicka, chicka, chickabee. / T'ee an me an t'ee an me thing? As Bubs recently pointed out, strange things happen in Canada and I refuse to take the blame for almost all of them.

4. Do you have a man crush on Coaster Punchman? Details, please.

Coaster Punchman was one of the first characters in the blog world (hi Chelene) that I wanted to see step off the page and into real life. As it turned out, he was as smart, devastatingly funny and charming in real life as I'd been led to believe on his blog (even though I suspect his partner Poor George actually writes his best material). Rather than a crush, I think of him more as my American Idol, only taller and more talented.*

5. You're given the task of writing the American Idol winner's schlocky single for next season. Without using any variations of the words "love," "dream," "amazing," or "blessed," what's the title? Give us a peek at the chorus while you're at it.

Writing the schlocky single is an unenviable task. Even if it doesn't turn out to be ultra-dreck (which it always does), legions of bloggers will be at the ready to call it dreck just the same.

I think my song title would be Flying On My Own (After A Big Corporate Push) and I'd insist on it being dedicated to everyone's favourite ghost in the machine, Clive Davis. It'd go a little something like this:

Flying On My Own (co-written by Carole Bayer Aspirin)

I'm spreading my wings
For the very first time,
How high will I go?
How far can I climb?

You were there from the start
To help me along
You're here with me now
And this is my song.

Flying on my own
Oh it feels so right
Flying on my own
Never thought I'd take flight.

Flying (stretch 2 syllable word into 18 - 22 syllable note here) on my own.

If possible, the actor singer should choke out a sob and cry one single tear at the end.

Bonus: The only question with me now is, "do I make you proud?"

You do make me proud each and every day Beckeye, when I first fell in love with you so many months ago, I wondered where it would all lead. Now I know. It leads to really friggin' hard questions. To prove my love, I'm going to send you the Taylor Hicks fan club information you've been begging me for. I think he'll be appearing in the back of a pick up truck somewhere in your area soon.

*I'm actually using Coaster Punchman to get to Poor George's cooking and then I'll drop him like a stone.


Flannery Alden said...

Lovely interview, you two!

I love your new single, Dale.

lulu said...

I've just booked a weekend on CP and PG's couch; if you're nice to me I'll work on PG for you.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

OH MY GOD, you're really David Foster, aren't you?

Tenacious S said...

Thank you for not plaguing me with a bad soundtrack. I'm just glad there is no tune for the beautiful lyrics you wrote. *dry heave*

Allison said...

You two are hilarious. Thanks for the morning chuckle!

Chancelucky said...

Dudley DoRight is one of my reatives. In my volleyball writing, my wife and go by the names "Boris and Natasha".
Jay Ward played a rather large role in shaping my sense of humor. I imagine that's sort of embarrassing for him, but he was still a giant of the cartoon world.

Very funny interview Beckey and Dale.

X. Dell said...

Ah, there's a reason I savor this site for last.

(1) Actually, Dale, you introduced me to Writerprocrastinator. So I would say that you're more likely the prime mover of this particular blogging universe.

That's assuming that you are actually two different people. After all, I've never seen you together in the same room.

(2) The first time I saw surtitles was at Lincoln Center, during a performance of Porgy and Bess--in English. Ever since, I never liked them.

(3) It's been my pleasure to introduce Dudley Do-Right to several Canadians, all of whom scratched their heads and said, "WTF?"

(4) Dale, you user, you.

(5) I remember Carole Bayer Aspirin. Wasn't she married to Burt Backrack?

(6) Dale, Beckeye, remember that love is never easy. Be thankful you found each other.

Coaster Punchman said...

Man crushes are never easy, Beckeye. Oh, and your link is coming (along with Flannery and a few others I've promised...) For some reason I put off messing with my template for fear of screwing it up again, and then having to spend hours troubleshooting for no pay whatsoever.

Hi Dale.

Writeprocrastinator said...


Actually, I think I remember Dale coming over to your site, before he ever came over to mine. Of course, I'm going by my less-than reliable memory and the fact that I saw Dale's ubiquitous avatar all over Blogdom.

Nevertheless, as Dale blames for this, call me David Gahan, because I am...

Your own personal scapegoat
Someone to answer your prayers
Someone to take the fall, so that Dale can be spared

Writeprocrastinator said...

Nice interview by the way, it reaches out and touches me.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"Actually, Dale, you introduced me to Writerprocrastinator. So I would say that you're more likely the prime mover of this particular blogging universe."

Ah, ah, see? Thank you, X. Dell.

Writeprocrastinator said...

You know I'm kidding, Dale, right?

Bubs said...

Great job! I love to see the questions matched to their subject so well.

Great job both of you!

Johnny Yen said...

Very nice, you two!

BeckEye said...

WP - What? I could swear that I found Dale through you. Please don't make me go back and do a whole blogdom family tree. Actually, no, that's a good idea. Someone SHOULD do that. Just not me.

Lovely answers Dale, and your AI single makes me proud. I've wanted to be inside your Heaven for so long, and you've finally granted me access.

Dale said...

Someone just needs to write the saccharine sweet notes and I'm sure it'll go #1 Flannery. Are you available for backup singing?

Lulu, have I told you lately how lovely you are? If not, you are.

Isn't it awful Barbara? The next thing you know I'll be running over Chicken George in my car.

Tenacious S, you're welcome. If I do a punk version, will you do backup screaming and / or heaving?

Glad you enjoyed it Allison. That Beckeye had me sweating over those damned questions.

I love Jay Ward too Chancelucky and remember it was during a Rocky & Bullwinkle episode many years ago that I had to be pulled away from the television crying to have stitches removed from my foot.

X. Dell, savour as you will.

i) I know I was seeing Write Procrastinator on several sites I visited like Chelene's Bliss and Bile and first saw the Beckeye there. I was insanely jealous of their wit and ability and probably didn't comment for a while. I'm a baby like that.

ii) Once in a while, the surtitles can distract or detract but I find them helpful as well.

iii) I loved Dudley, Nell and the whole Rocky & Bullwinkle gang as a child and still do.

iv) I'm a user but no boozer or loser so I think it's okay, no?

v) Ba dum bum!

vi) Love means never having to say how can I miss you if you won't go away? Awwwwww.

Hi Coaster Punchman. I hope you two sort out your link life soon.

Mr. Write Procrastinator - I'd rather rely on your faulty memory than mine but see part i of my response to X. Dell for further possibly faulty information. No matter, you are to be revered and appropriately touched. I'm not kidding.

Thank you Bubs, your opinion matters. I'm not kidding.

Johnny Yen, thank you kind sir.

Just one last thing to prove your love Beckeye. Snatch the pebble from my hand.

Scott said...

Images of Dudley Do-Right = a winning blog entry every time.

chelene said...

Hi Dale. I'll let you use that term for free, everyone else pays a dollar.

Writeprocrastinator said...

"I'd rather rely on your faulty memory than mine but see part i of my response to X. Dell for further possibly faulty information. No matter, you are to be revered and appropriately touched. I'm not kidding."

Good gravy! This is make your "Procrastinator blush week." First, Beth and now you.

Grant Miller said...

You're the Blogfather.

Dale said...

I was really glad Beckeye asked me about Nell, Scott, my blog was sadly lacking this cultural mainstay.

An American dollar or Canadian, Chelene? Actually our buck is nearly as strong as yours right now. How'd that happen?

You deserve any and all accolades and touching WP!

I hope I don't get shot down in a blog of glory Grant Miller. Or maybe I do hope. I don't know.

jewgirl said...

wpeaser is definitely the glue that binds. he's the blogfather.

and you my dear, are a fucking riot. you're so damn dry. love it.

Dale said...

Like a dry heat Katie? Thank you! All hail WP!