3/30/2006

King Conk

I'd been waiting and waiting to see King Kong thinking that Peter Jackson would undoubtedly pull it off again. I loved his Lord of the Rings films and prior to that, I knew him only from Heavenly Creatures, a curious and engrossing film.

Now, I've sat through 9 hour flights, 5 hour operas and 42 years of living inside my head so a 3 hour + running time in a film doesn't really scare me much. Going in, I already liked Naomi Watts, Jack Black and big dinosaur special effects. Can you smell the stink brewing?

I bought the dvd on 'opening day' because I'm a consumer whore, a packaging whore and can be indoctrinated into the cult of your choice at a moment's notice.

After I made it home from my usual 7.25 hours of work avoidance, I took a walk, had a bite to eat, a shower and kept some previously made TV committments. At an unsuitably late hour, I began my journey to Skull Island. Within minutes, my own skull began to loll about. I surrendered at the 40 minute mark.

Evening #2 - fewer committments and more of an interest in enjoying the whole Konga found me raring to go. Hey, is that Billy Elliott? He gave up dancing to be in this movie?

Yay! Dinosaurs! The whole sequence was ridiculous and much longer than it should have been. I guess they had the animals for the day and just worked them.

On my third night (you always remember your third), I picked up where Kong has his big opening in NYC. One night only. Then he dies (but not before I do a little).

This whole flick was just as bloated as Peter Jackson used to be.

I will never look at Naomi Watts again without thinking you juggled for that big ape.

10 comments:

n.v. said...

Dale, I am one of those on-the-spot consumer whores, too. Sometimes I go on faith alone and am rewarded with a big sloppy cumstain on my chin. Looks like that's what you got with King Spunk. Jack Black is great, but even he can't be forgiven for this shitfest.

Now watch School of Rock three times and say 10 Hail Marys.

n.v. said...

Dale, can I ask what you do for work? A vague answer will suffice.

Dale said...

I gave it up for the damned dirty ape and all I got was penance?

My job? When I'm not writing about American Idol, I enjoy horseback riding, the classics and...okay, maybe I work for an insurance company.

n.v. said...

Hmmm. I used to deal with insurance companies. What a terrible lot of people :)

I even wrote for an insurance magazine a couple of times. Yeah, I'm a loser.

Reese said...

I didn't know that Peter Jackson did "Heavenly Creatures"!! I luuurrrrrved that movie. I generally like anything with Kate Winslet, though. She's aces, baby.

Dale said...

Hey RW -- Kate was smarter than to get the King Kong stink on her though wasn't she?
And Heavenly Creatures was also her first film I believe. She's generally pretty darned good.

Reese said...

Holy Smoke was one of my favourites. I loved seeing Harvey Keitel dressed up in ladies clothes. That was Jane Campion, and she always manages to get Harvey to get all jiggy for the camera.

Dale said...

I haven't seen that. I'll have to add it to the list of a million things I should do, watch, read, you know...

Reese said...

YES. See that movie for sure. I just picked up "A history of violence" with Viggo. I think I'll watch it tonight. Ciao!!

Dale said...

Having read about your propensity for not watching movies, if you're going to go through with it, watch the first half. We can then discuss Viggo's teeth or other aspects of the film.