Ooo Ooo That Smell

I rarely watch those celebrity ass kissing shows like ET because they're shameless and horrifying. Last night though, I caught a segment on one of them - The Insider I think.

Speaking of ass kissing, the spotlight was on the brave and courageous Katie Couric. She is brave and courageous because her husband died of ass cancer. And by dying of ass cancer, I mean, he went into hiding. He is as scared of Katie as I am. She was throwing a charity doo in the dead husband's honour. I changed the channel because her husband and I were laughing too hard at her.

Tonight, horror of horrors, I found myself in front of the television again and there's an update on Katie Courageous and the rockin' benefit she threw.

Katie was resplendent in a dress made entirely of courage and cancer. Some of the performing talent just looked tremendous: Sting was there stinking up the joint and a still bald James Taylor and always freaky Smokey Robinson were jamming. Everyone just looked happy to be working. Shudder.

Next up on the teevee -- American Inventor from the ubiquitous Simon Cowell. I hear they'll have judges but not Simon, Randy and Paula. This is good news for Paula. She can enter and win the whole thing by putting her career on display -- she invented that didn't she?


n.v. said...

I haven't laughed so hard in a long while as I did at your first paragraph. Ass cancer is hilaaaarious (watch me get it for saying that).

Dale said...

I'll get it too and then I'll buy tickets to her damned benefit for both of us next year.

And you know by this point, I'm only writing to try and make you laugh so I'm immediately retiring.

n.v. said...

You're not retiring.

Speaking of cancer, the Canadian Cancer Society is giving away a brand new Honda Civic to whoever wins a quit-smoking contest. Frankly, I'd rather have cancer than be caught dead in a Civic. But anyway...my beef is, why should only smokers get a free car? Can I pretend I quit and win the car? Just seeing the promo infuriated me. I'm all about clean living (except for all the cheesecake I gobble) and no one's giving me a fucking car.

Dale said...

That's fucked up dude. Now I feel like I quit too soon. Interesting marketing but maybe they're thinking that anyone brave enough to quit would be stupid enough to not notice it's a Civic?

And cheesecake can be a right or a privilege. You choose.

n.v. said...

Maybe the Civic is punishment for smoking in the first place. har har

anne altman said...

fantastic post, dale! oh, katie, resplendent in a gown made of courage and cancer. . .


she's CBS's cancer now.

Dale said...

Glad you liked it Anne, I knew you were a woman of taste and distinction!