1/12/2007

The Adventures of Baby Man

As many women will tell you, all men are babies when they’re sick, and well, I’m all man baby.

Today, I had a bit of congestion. This typically wouldn't be much to worry about except that sometimes, my sniffles turn into the sexiest little sinus infections this side of the border. I can’t afford to be sick but I can afford free health care so I ran to the walk in clinic near my office building today.

Over the ¾ of an hour it took me to get in to see the doctor, I luxuriated in the people watching peculiar to a doctor's waiting room. It's all fun and games gazing upon the misery of the well dressed when all they really want to be is home in their jammies. They seem caught between two worlds, their pain exquisite, while back at the office, people who look like they are wearing their jammies are running the place. Salt of the earth, that lot.

This medical clinic shares walls with a dental clinic. To barely be able to sit upright and have to listen to the sound of a drill keeping time with that suction tube is pretty ridiculous and adds to the dejected feel of things. One two spit, one two spit.

Overall there seemed to be a lot of complaining going on about the wait times but I say, if you're not fighting in a war or curing cancer, you can shut the hell up and wait 45 minutes for something you don't need an appointment for.

When my turn came, I was surprised to see what a sight Dr. Sally was; she looked in rougher shape than many of the waiting patients. I gave her as much an examination as she did me. It looked like her 50ish frame was not happy about its many forgotten maintenance checks and her long stringy grey hair seemed ready for an end to it all. I wanted to ask her if she'd washed her hands but luckily for her, I was on my best Canadian behaviour and simple stared at her clogs while she told me what I already knew.

After pronouncing my self diagnosis correct and handing over a prescription, I waved good bye to all the miscreants and proceeded to la farmacia. The wait there was going to be twenty minutes so I had time to almost buy lunch (the debit machine was broken) and actually buy shoes (black - who can't use another pair of those?).

I made it back to work and trust that Dr. Sally made it through and treated each and every one of the other miseries, the damned babies.

28 comments:

Creepy said...

Where are all the smoking hot doctors in sexy outfits we grew up on watching porn???

Dale said...

I wondered the same thing. I think you have to pay extra Creepy.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Wow...and I heard so many good things about Canadian healtcare, tsk-tsk. I can examined by dodgy, out of shape, fiftyish women wearing clogs for free, around here, as I live not that far from the Haight-Ashbury district.

Geeti Das said...

I went to get a checkup the other day, as it's cheaper here in India even without a health plan, and man, the stethoscope always tickles. I felt sorry for my doctor too, but mostly because of the way I behaved.

Although I have no doubt your sinusitis is sexy, I hope you get well soon, Dale!

Coaster Punchman said...

John Mayer is my doctor, so I don't have these problems. Although you did end the day with a prescription drug and new shoes, which is a pretty good way to end things.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

I always like to try to guess what people's ailments are that bring them to the walk-in clinc, while staying as far away from them as possible. Raging syphilis is always popular choice.

Berry said...

45 minutes??? Are you kidding me???!!! It takes that long around here just to see the triage nurse! And THEN you wait another 6 hours, unless you're dying. Then it's only a 3-hour wait.

I hope your sinuses are nice and disinfected now. :o)

Chris said...

I haven't been to see a doctor in years, but if they are all as attractive as Dr. Sally sounds, I may have to schedule a check-up.

Of course, I'd have to pay for it, so maybe not. Damn you, capitalist health care system!

Angela said...

What a great way to start the new year! Not. I hope you feel better soon, sexy sniffler. I've had bronchitis for the last month, being sick sucks!

PinkFluffySlippers said...

I'm bringing some cheap Mexican antibiotics along with that Flowbee.

Mob said...

Glad you made it through the gauntlet and got some medicine.

Always kinda creepy to deal with a doctor who seems to be on death's door themself.

Tanya Espanya said...

Faker, you're not sick. You just want to take some time off work.

Dale said...

Haha, I thought I was special WP but once again, you've proven me wrong. From now on, it's the big bus for me.

I think I'm better already knowing that it won't develop any further Geeti. You are coming back right? Or can the one medical visit justify the cost of the flight?

Why do I keep forgetting your body is a wonderland CP? Shoes and Pills, that's what I want the movie of my blog to be called.

Next time I go Barbara, after I approach the reception counter, I'm going to loudly say What?! Five of the people here have raging syphilis? just to watch everyone get uncomfortable.

If you're talking about Emergency rooms at the hospital that sounds about right Berry but that's because everyone uses them like a walk in clinic rather than for emergencies. If not, you need to change provinces.

Chris, check in with Write Procrastinator, he can get you in at his place for nothing.

I'll be ship shape by the end of the weekend. Or dead. Either way Angela, good to see you.

Your arrival promises to be interesting Pink Fluffy Slippers. Will you pack these items in your cello case?

Piece of cake Mob, I figured I should go at the start of it all rather than at the tail end when I've already been miserable for a week.

If only I had your job Tanya. Oh that's right... :-)

katie schwartz said...

oy, so sorry about the sinus infection. that sucks. I hate them. they are very painful.

I am plagued with jewergies, so you know I am a sinus infection's dream come true.

I feel your pain. get rest! drink lots of water and rest.

Tanya Espanya said...

HAHAHAHAH!!! How did I get the best gig in town?!

Dale said...

Next time I'm getting jewergies instead Katie! Just sounds like more fun. Will I blow Matzah balls out my nose? Do I get to wear the hat?

By being a lazy slacker. And cute. There are so few letters between heart and hate my dear Tanya.

chelene said...

Was she really wearing clogs? I don't care if it's free, that's just not right.

Dale said...

Clickety clackety clogs Chelene.

Tanya Espanya said...

I heart you, Dale!

Old Lady said...

Well, even with an appointment to a doctor I pay it takes longer than that to be seen! Maybe we need to get some of that stuff you have, only a 45 minute wait, I should be so lucky!

20 minutes to get a prescription filled? 2 hour minimum over here!!!

Geeti said...

Alright, alright I'll be back soon. I think I've got your sinus infection, though. Thanks a lot. And yes, I'll be importing it to NY soon.

Dale said...

Yeah yeah Tanya, just remember the restraining order conditions.

I didn't find it too interminable a wait Old Lady. The thing here seems to be though, no matter how good you have it, the sense of whiny entitlement kicks in and people complain about all the things that don't matter.

Thank you for following my orders instead of the doctor's Geeti, after all, I'm the man with the plan. Come on home.

Johnny Yen said...

I've got the opposite problem-- my wife has to twist my arm to get me to go see a doctor. Last summer, I had an inner ear infection so bad I couldn't hear out of that ear, and she sat there over me as I made my appointment just to make sure I was actually doing it.

Coaster Punchman-- thanks, buddy-- I now have the image of you in a doctor's office while John Mayer, in a doctor's outfit sings "Your Body is a Wonderland" stuck in my head. I may need therapy now.

Old Lady said...

Whiney entitlement! I like that phrase, gave me the yuckles!

Bluez628 said...

I hate it when you think its boogers but its snot.

mellowlee said...

I hope you feel better soon Dale! I'm always a huge baby when Im sick, and take lots of Nyquil or Dayquil. That stuff rocks!

justacoolcat said...

That's the problem with free health insurance.

Next time I suggest you buy new shoes first and use them to beat the peasants while you wait. I find that yelling "SWEEP! SWEEP!" brings them the most joy.

Dale said...

You should know better Johnny Yen. It's Coaster Punchman that sings it to Dr. Mayer.

It's funny 'cause it's true O.L.!

Tissue or not tissue Bluez.

As long as you don't mix them up, all would be well I guess Mel. I'm feeling fairly good.

There's a commercial on here that has two curlers sweeping a shopping cart up to the cashier's station that cracks me up Coolcat but I couldn't find it on YouTube.