More Christmas Carnage

Earlier, Ella helped me usher in the holidays several months ahead of schedule or just a little bit late (see the pole post directly south of here).

Remember my friend Peaches? Well, she got on the train tonight and sat across the aisle from me. We exchanged glances and a smile and my train friends and I went back to discussing the topic of the day, the sudden onset of winter. We rolled along peacefully like so for several minutes when up from the aisle, there arose such a clatter!

One of Peaches’ shopping bags had tipped over with a thump and from it spilled 4 or 5 plush and brightly dressed Christmas elves and lots of other rooty toot toots and rummy tum tums.

As her cubicle at work rejoiced, freed of the season's embellishments, I imagined these poor toys plotting a bid for freedom, not yet ready to give in to another year of storage. If only they'd factored in the noise the bag would make as they scrambled to make their escape.

Time froze, a whole group of people staring silently as they tried to make sense of so many Christmas items all out of context. As Peaches stuffed her treasures back into their temporary home, all I could do was loudly declare "Now that’s a bag of fun!".

I secretly hoped she’d leave the bag behind so I could liberate the poor creatures. Right into a garbage can. The only thing I hate more than elves are rogue elves.

Is it Easter yet?


chelene said...

Hmmm...I suspect you wanted to liberate them right into your home, Dale. I think your little light-up snowman needs some friends.

Shroom-Monkey said...

speaking of nuts.... I love Christmas Nutcrackers.. they are the all time coolest things ever. I started a collection a few years ago, not too many yet but I am working on it.... elves are lame!

Andi said...

1. There's something oddly sexual and creepy about the pic on this post. But then again, I'm oddly sexual and creepy, so maybe it's just me.

2. Just looking at the labels attached to this post is a hoot.

mellowlee said...

Easter! It's not even Valentine's day yet! Or does that not count because there's no day off? I think we SHOULD take Valentine's day off. :O)

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Forget Valentine's Day, Mel! It's not even Groundhog Day yet, the holiest day of the year.

Does this make you want to tuck your lightup snowman into your briefcase for tomorrow's commute?

wonderturtle said...

What are those elves doing?

Dale said...

Not these two I didn't Chelene! I should start a collection and then put it all on eBay.

Elves are at least as lame as you Shroomy. How will you manage to not pull those crackers apart for their valuable prizes? I love them too.

1. Andi is not creepy or odd but is very sexual. That's what I hear.
2. I love it when you give a hoot.

We should petition the government Mel. They pass enough other ridiculous things, it might just work.

I may just do that Barbara, good idea! Groundhog Day is the holiest of all winter holidays. O come let us adore him.

Exactly Wonderturtle, what the hell are they doing?

Old Lady said...

What is it with you and people dumping their stuff on you. I bet snowman man told her to do that and you would take them off of her hands!

Emmie said...

well thats a interesting post... time for Valentine's Day first dear.... well i would love to visit your blog again... u can too drop by My Blog sometimes and have a glimpse of something u may find interesting.... !!!

Shroom-Monkey said...

did you just call me lame???

Mob said...

Poor elves, now it's back to their closet for 11 months until the next disaster.

The cherub assortment that Peaches will have next month for Valentine's day should be something to look forward to in morbid curiousity.

Bluez628 said...

I think peaches drops stuff on purpose so when you bend over to pick them up she can check out your ass.

justacoolcat said...

Good eating them rogue elves.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Be on the lookout for Dale! He's the leader of the Christmas Elf Liberation Front, or "C.E.L.F."

When you see him, do not confront your "C.E.L.F!" Contact the authorities instead, as Dale has been known to resort to any means necessary, to free Christmas elves.

Allison said...

Hahaha, rogue elves. Great post!

Grant Miller said...

You should call PETA on the over the Easter Bunny.

Coaster Punchman said...

Did she ever get her mug back?

Tumuli said...

Somehow, that pic was oddly homoerotic. But at least the "real" elves no longer are held captive in cubicle-land.

As for your Yuletide leftovers: don't fear, because I still find myself thinking of Wham's "Last Christmas" and Macy Gray's version of "Winter Wonderland."

Angela said...

Bag of fun?! Smooooth!

Besides...Aren't you the one with the bag of fun??

Dale said...

I try to look unapproachable and sour Old Lady and I still get roped into these messes. I may need to change tactics.

Emmie, I really hope nothing stops you from visiting my blog again. I visited yours and I waited but you didn't show.

Lame is just another 4 letter word Shroomy, I may have been medicated when I said it.

Time to change cars on the train again Mob. Too many holidays and too many potential cheap and strange offerings from the people.

I think you're right and I'm going to loudly call her on that next time. She's a hussy.

The bones are worthwhile as toothpicks Justa.

That's funny Write P. I've been confronting myC.E.L.F. for years but I just keep ignoring me.

Careful Allison, they could be anywhere by now.

I'd like to have rabbit stew with PETA sometime and discuss a few things Grant.

She did indeed CP, I gave it back and resisted the urge to bring it down on her head with a mighty swipe. She said something like 'I would have just thrown it out but thanks'.

I agree Tumuli, they're up to more than just an innocent roll those little fellers. Maybe they're thinking about Last Christmas and the Winter Wonderland they created.

No Angela, I'm the man with the plan. And a few other things!