The Taxi Ride

Even with my aversion to interacting with people as a species, I still somehow find myself working in the largest city in Canada and for restful vacations, visiting the most populous one in North America.

The line at LaGuardia for cabs was really long so John and I did what they tell you not to do and agreed to a cab ride from one of the many poachers skulking about the terminal.

The guy looked like Terence Trent D'Arby and since I always liked that Wishing Well song, I figured it would be alright. If only I'd remembered back to the time Terence pulled this stunt, waiting in line mightn't have seemed such a bad idea.

We got into the back of his shiny Escalade and started on our way. I heard a woman's voice and was very interested to see that my spider sense hadn't even detected a being in the front seat but there she was, the driver's girlfriend I guess, talking away on her cellphone. She looked like my favourite rebellious Cosby kid circa Angel Heart only with less blood.

As we approached the toll booth, Terence was in one line and it seemed busy so he swerved over into another. He and Lisa both started yammering away with the lady in the booth who in addition to taking his money, handed over something wrapped in foil.

Oh fuck! Drugs! my brain shrieked. We're all gonna die in some sort of deal gone wrong. It turned out to just be some sort of shawarma which they shared as we drove on. With the windows cracked to let out some of the visible waves of flavour, order was slowly restored to my worried mind. I said a little prayer I Guess The Lord Must Be in New York City and we ended up exactly where we were meant to be, in front of our hotel.


Tanya Espanya said...

Are you sure it wasn't Milli Vanilli driving you?

Coaster Punchman said...

Maybe it really was Terrence. At least I hope so, because I really don't care much for his artistry. What a little slut.

chelene said...

I never go off with those drivers. I feel that if I'm going to fear for my life and be talked down to in a language I don't understand than it should be from NYC's own licensed yellow cab drivers. I'm loyal like that.

mellowlee said...

whew, glad you made it safe and sound!

Geeti said...

The Lord is not in New York City, the Lord works in Newark airport. To make up for the 45 minutes I have got back where you could still not see me.

I love the way people drive in New York. It kind of reminds me of home, minus the cows.

Can I just add that this word verification thing is getting ridiculous? Do they really need me to type eight letters to make sure I'm not a machine? And how is anyone supposed to tell the m's from the n's and the r's when they're all squished together in a green wave? Whatever. I'm tired.

Molecular Turtle said...

I feel for you. Keep safe and enjoy your vacation.

BeckEye said...

I guess after being in NYC for over a year now, this post just doesn't shock me.

I'm officially desensitized. Thanks for the confirmation.

Dale said...

Girl you know it's true...it might have been!

It's nice of you to use the word artistry in the same sentence as his name CP.

It wasn't really fraught with any danger, more just smelly food and regret Chelene. I like the regular cabbies too.

Hey Mel, no sweat, safe and relatively sound.

Don't have a cow Geeti, they're only letters! If there's a word verification that's too long, hit enter and get a new one to come up you lazy student type.

I'm back unless you're sending me away again M.T.

Shock wasn't really the intention Beckeye. Gosh, you're so desensitized! :-) The intention was to hear Sinead O'Connor sing the song about the Lord in NYC and to say hi honey, I'm home.

Bubs said...

Welcome home Dale. Can't wait to hear about your trip.

Old Lady said...

We? Our?

Andi said...

Whew! Congrats on living.

X. Dell said...

Here, we call them 'gypsy cabs' because they run without Medallions. A cabbie must buy a Medallion from the city (last I heard they cost $500,000). Once she or he has bought it, the cabbie can lease it to other drivers, provided that they act within the regulation and codes of the Medallion.

The gypsy cab drivers, by comparison, neither own nor lease a Medallion. They also have less insurance ($30,000 as opposed to $500,000). But they're USUALLY just as reliable as the yellow taxis you see on the street.

BTW, had you been a taxi inspector, you would have arrested Terrance and Lisa, seized their car, and forced them to put up $5,000 bail. Gypsy cab drivers are also far more likely to be murdered by their passengers.

Mob said...

Glad you made it to the hotel safely, and I hope you can relax and enjoy the rest of the vacation.

We almost did the poacher thing when we were in Paris, leaving a show late at night, but somehow scored a 'real' cab shortly before agreeing to the poachers price which turned out to be double what the actual cab-ride was.

Some bargain.

Sandra said...

When my mother was a somewhat spry senior citizen from the outskirts of Hillsburgh, Ontario she was sent to New York for some sort of church conference. Well she was and is not a worldly sort at all- she finds coming to visit me in urban Etobicoke stressful but off she went.

When she got to the airport some "nice young" man asked if he could give her a ride. Well he seemed nice enough and he also asked some other people and they came along too. So she took the ride but the ride did not take them to their destinations. Along the way he dropped them off- he just told them to get out. She never was able to explain where. She said wherever it was no one was much interested in her. Well she did not take long to decid what to do. This gray haired, middle aged woman with her suitcase (25 years ago so no wheels) abandonned in the middle of nowhere decided to walk. She walked and walked some more. She never told any of us how far it was but she was somewhat proud that she saved lots of money.

She has never returned to New York City but when her granddaughter told her she was going there last summer- Grandma made sure her granddaughter had lots of taxi money.

Tanya Espanya said...

I have to say, I'm also a bit leery of visiting Sandra in Etobicoke...

Dale said...

Hi Bubs, it was a lot of fun and thanks for the welcome home.

That's what I said Old Lady.

Thank you Andi, the survival was no thanks to me.

Same thing here X. Dell with the gypsy cabbies although the medallion cost is no doubt a bit different. Probably for a couple of litres of maple syrup and a loonie, you're in! And I did inspect their SUV but only for other life forms after my initial scare.

Hey Mob, I'm home again safe and will be over to visit shortly.

Hilarious story Sandra and I'm glad she survived it too. She'd like my Dad for his thrifty ways. Can I borrow a few bucks from her?

The best part of Etobicoke apart from Sandra living there Tanya is that the 'k' is silent. Etobicoe.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

No shawarma for you? Your cab driver was nothing but a shawarma-nazi!

Dale said...

Haha, exactly Barbara. And no return cab ride from me to him!

thetruthisthelight said...

Hiya Dale, just catching up after a long haul at work. Terence Trent D'Arby? I love his "Little Sister" song and "Wishing Well". Sounds like you had a blast in Noo Yawk, the whole place rocks!

Dale said...

It does indeed rock and pretty hard! It was a blast. I liked Wishing Well but that's about all I can cop to.