2/04/2007

When Your Mother's Your Fodder

There have been several occasions when I've written about my parents. I usually set out thinking about all the things I could blame them for and then get sidetracked. I promise to eventually wander back to my The Horrors of My Youth series but until then, I present another side order of crazy.

On Friday, I got a letter from the old country. Mama? Is that you? As I've said before, Mom's a letter writer but I'm not sure if I mentioned her stationery. Mom and the friends of Mom used to write each other using the scraps and corners of whatever might be nearby. Nothing seemed safe: an old greeting card? Sure, just cross out the original message and keep on writing. The corner of a church bulletin? Baby Jesus won't mind, go right ahead. With writing up and down the margins as well as where it should be, it was like working at a puzzle designed just for you.

Then the war ended and the streets filled with confetti like so many wasted paper dots. Mothra (a name I call her to make my sister laugh) got into the habit of using *gasp* writing paper. Heady days indeed.

The letter I just received was written on the back of a pizza coupon! What a return to form! Could the people who printed internet specials on the front ever have imagined that it would go unredeemed in favour of the back becoming space for a short note and a listing of all the recently deceased denizens of Momtown?

Exhibit A:

For now, my plan is to ignore the behaviour and use the coupon. If the Internet truly does bring us all together, why should a measly 800 miles get between me and free Garlic Fingers?

As you can see from my fold over, not only did I get the writing on the back of the coupon but it also goes up one side just like in the good old mental days! I'm so glad the postage for sending a written on pizza box through the mail would be cost prohibitive.

Exhibit B:


In honour of this occasion, I've baked you a little mp3 love treat: Kate Bush - Mother Stands For Comfort. It also stands for crazy.

29 comments:

Mob said...

Wow, that's a wild story, and I love your courtroom approach to the presentation of things.

When a box arrives, do you ever fear that the inside of the box will be covered completely in text?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

One of these days they are going to give your mothra a Nobel Prize for saving the environment, and then she'll be badmouthing you on her blog. In the meantime, make sure you get lots of veggies on your pizza.

X. Dell said...

Is this a pizza franchise where you can find a restaurant near you? If so, suggest that your mom writes on coupons that you can use.

I always found it interesting that my mother always write me on yellow legal stationary. Hmmm.

Dale said...

I always approach letters and parcels with the utmost caution Mob, you just never know. For a while, one of my sisters was fond of putting that fun shiny confetti in everything and I still hate her for it.

Mothra is a big proponent of the reuse part of the three Rs Barbara. I'm sure she still has plastic bread bags from when I was a kid.

Unfortunately no X. Dell although I'm sure they'd enjoy deciphering the list of the dead on the back. Was your mother helping prepare for your defense?

Jill said...

Stop badmouthing your mother!! She is recycling!! And the poor woman send you fudge!!! Give her a break!!(And sent me a piece!!)

Tenacious S said...

See, she really loves you. she wants to make sure you are eating right. Pizza is a balanced meal. Apparently, sending a coupon for food is the next best thing to sending cookies. Right?

PinkFluffySlippers said...

Any letter that ends with "Enjoy the fudge" is A-Ok with me.

Dale said...

Sorry Jill, it's all gone. Really. It was good.

I'm sure she means well on all fronts Tenacious S.

It was the best part PinkFluffy. Thanks maw.

Chancelucky said...

I think it's kind of cool that she's imaginative about stationery. Why waste paper?

Allison said...

I have to agree with the rest, what a great way to save on paper, very imaginative. Sounds like my Gran, and Mom, who also reuse milk bags for frozen food. Be bought by Ziplock they will not.

Bubs said...

Wow. That's something. How did you know I was such a big fan of tightly-spaced writing on the edges of stuff?

I don't have a crazy mom, but I used to have a crazy mother in law. She died on my birthday a few years ago.

Zed said...

She could have used a McDonald's coupon to write on, you ingrate! Pizza...yum.

Coaster Punchman said...

Does Mothra need a bit of help with her spelling? I wonder if your dad actually signed off on the message and fudge she was sending to you. Perhaps he is an unwilling participant in this little pizza-and-fudge party.

Jill said...

I guess she never teach how to share!! Were does she live? She might live close to me, I'm gonna tell her you don't share!!

"jew" "girl" said...

I don't know if my comment came through the first time, so here it is again.

your mother is a riot. do you save all of her letters? I love the concept of "any old piece of paper will do" when it comes to letter writing. there's more of an emphasis on content.

what's a garlic finger? sounds like something infused with a bit of kink.

Melinda June said...

You'd be surprised how cheap it is to send a pizza box if you treat it like a postcard. Though the cardboard of a six pack of Henry Weinhard's is actually best...lest heft.

Grant Miller said...

Can I print this post and get a discount?

Dale said...

Imagination perhaps borne of necessity Chancelucky but it still counts right?

Plastic bread bags, paper grocery bags, we had cupboards of the stuff too Allison.

That was very kind of her Bubs to help make your special day even specialer!

I'm never thankful for anything Zed. Why couldn't she just have written it on a paper snowflake?

As long as she wasn't actively involving him, he'd sign off on anything CP. I don't care if she can't spell as long as she remembers the fudge.

Jill, although my Mom and I have had our disagreements in the past, I love her enough not to tell you where she is.

I'm waving one at you right now Katie. It's like pizza bread with garlic and cheese cut up into little fingers, tasty. The content over form sounds like a good theory but doesn't always ring true.

Are your eyes the colour of organic amber MJ? If so, I could drink you in for hours before burping. That's a tricky final few words and a good sobriety test. Do NOT give mama any ideas!

Which half do you want off Grant Miller?

Dale said...

Imagination perhaps borne of necessity Chancelucky but it still counts right?

Plastic bread bags, paper grocery bags, we had cupboards of the stuff too Allison.

That was very kind of her Bubs to help make your special day even specialer!

I'm never thankful for anything Zed. Why couldn't she just have written it on a paper snowflake?

As long as she wasn't actively involving him, he'd sign off on anything CP. I don't care if she can't spell as long as she remembers the fudge.

Jill, although my Mom and I have had our disagreements in the past, I love her enough not to tell you where she is.

I'm waving one at you right now Katie. It's like pizza bread with garlic and cheese cut up into little fingers, tasty. The content over form sounds like a good theory but doesn't always ring true.

Are your eyes the colour of organic amber MJ? If so, I could drink you in for hours before burping. That's a tricky final few words and a good sobriety test. Do NOT give mama any ideas!

Which half do you want off Grant Miller?

Molecular Turtle said...

Crazy story. This is a really well put together post. Great job!

Tumuli said...

I prefer the backs of cookie boxes and pastry wrapping, myself.

Johnny Yen said...

Perhaps there is a way to make lemonade from lemons-- perhaps she can write her letter on the inside of a pizza delivery with a pizza in it.

My ex-wife's grandmother, who survived the Great Depression, to the end of her life would save used packages, etc. to write lists and notes on. I know that I definitely have my quirks from having survived very bad financial times (my wife would give you an earful about them), so in a way, I understand her.

In the meantime, aren't there any "we honor our competitors' coupons" businesses up there? Maybe you'll get your garlic fingers just yet!

Old Lady said...

I thought a made a comment, but maybe not. My grands and great grands wrote on whatever was available, shopping lists, recipes, letters, notes. Paper was not plentiful or cheap. As these people reached their golden years and we had to finalize their 'estates', we came across many hand written items that were written on things other than stationary. My mother saved some and framed them.

That very much goes with your mother cutting snowflakes out of printed material.

I have discovered that as one gets older they are loath to waste anything. My mother had a collection of food jars. Boxes and boxes. You gotta love 'em! I believe it is common amongst us all when we get older. Something to look forward to, eh?

Dale said...

Thanks M.T. Glad you enjoyed it.

Interesting choices Tumuli, I'm going to see if Mothra is looking into that.

More good thinking Johnny Yen. I'd probably have to explain the garlic fingers to them up here as well since it may be a 'down home' kind of thing. Sounds like a lot of people had to reduce, reuse and recycle and it's good sense in most cases.

That's a fantastic idea Old Lady and a wonderful way to remember someone. I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not but that doesn't really matter does it? :-)

Yasamin said...

why dont you just buy her a really nice stationary set? my mother sends me these almost creepy victorian flowery letters covered in rubber stamp imprints and stickers.

i feel loved.

blog Portland said...

Wow. It must be insanely easy to shop for Christmas (or Boxing Day?) gifts for her.

Shroom-Monkey said...

awww that is cute, nuts but cute...

BeckEye said...

At least her letter wasn't on the back of a male strip revue flyer.

Dale said...

Sounds awesome Yas. I have bought her lots of stationery but when she runs out, instinct kicks in and I get the Go Ask Alice diary entries written on paper bag scraps!

Send a parcel filled with writing paper Blog P. and she's got the gift and the paper that it was wrapped in and sent in to write on. Too easy.

Very nuts and very cute Shroomy. Like you. I mean me.

Oh Beckeye! Did you have to say that? I was so happy never to have had a thought like that until now.