9/26/2007

A Modest Proposal

As some of you know, my singular mission of late has been to crack my way into the elite Top 3 of vote getters on Blog Interviewer this month. To anyone who has voted already, thank you. If you've voted more than once, thank you thank you.

While I'd made no firm decision on how best to spend the possible winnings of $25, 15 or 10, a few things had crossed my mind. Initially I thought I'd buy y'all some Kool Aid but then after my recent post on Jonestown, I wondered if there would be trust issues.

Then I thought I might pay Beckeye off so she wouldn't share those naked photos of me and Splotchy that she purports to have. This went out the window after she published her manifesto on how she aims to dethrone me and well, I’m still sobbing.

After reading the post Tenacious S did on how gratifying it was to sponsor a child through Children International and then reading Lulu's post about the overwhelming enormity of Calcutta's poverty she recently witnessed first hand, I hatched a more devious plan.

If you vote me into the Top 3 thumbs uppers on Blog Interviewer, I'll donate $100 to a charity that you can help me pick.

If you get Bubs, Splotchy, Barbara or Beckeye into the Top 3 with me, I'll double it and personally hand over $25 to Beckeye next week when I see her (you know, for the photos, or drinks).

All this is made possible by the fact that I’ve finally unloaded that yacht I haven't really been using or my income tax cheque finally arrived. If none of this goes according to plan, I'll be writing to each and every child not yet adopted by Mia Farrow, Rosie, Madonna, Mary Louise Parker, and Brad and Angelina to let them know that while I still heart them, others have let them down.

Feel free to suggest a charity. A few I've been thinking about are Children International, World Vision, Habitat For Humanity and Doctors Without Borders. All do good work and from what I can tell also manage to be fiscally responsible.

You can vote once every 24 hours:

Vote for Dale

Vote for Beckeye

Vote for Splotchy

Vote for Barbara

Vote for Bubs

Don't make me go postal (with those letters to the kids).

22 comments:

Beth said...

If you really want to win, why not adopt an orphanage, telling each child to vote for you every day or no more porridge? Child exploitation always works in election campaigns.

Oh, and I just voted for you. Again.

Margo Moon said...

'kay, Dale. Voted for you. But had to null it out with a vote for Beckeye, since a vote for Beckeye is a vote for not seeing those naked pictures. See what I'm sayin'?

Barbara Bruederlin said...

You're a mensch, Dale! I voted for everybody, myself included of course.

And look how far up the list you are now, you can smell top three from there!

BeckEye said...

Now I'm confused. Well played, you brilliant, ten-foot tall bastard!

What's this next week business? You're coming to the ABBA party now? I thought you weren't?

pistols at dawn said...

As someone who hates charities, I voted for BeckEye to punish your good intentions.

Chancelucky said...

Okay, I voted for you guys. These polls are so exciting.

Flannery Alden said...

As your number one fan, I voted. Now you have to come visit Ohio to thank me personally.

Suzel's Sass said...

That's not much of a challenge to write to all the orphans that are left. I heard Paris was going to Rwanda so I'm sure she'll just adopt the last of them.

I'll vote for you because you did give me a very good price on the yacht.

Dale said...

Not a bad idea Beth and maybe I could get them to do a bit of sewing or something while they're waiting to vote again. Thanks for the votes.

You're a wise woman Margo Moon and I want Beckeye up there to share the glory so I won't fault you on your sneaky ways.

How do you think my numbers keep changing Barbara? My voting finger is sore! And I'm voting for you too of course. Or so I say. I thought I smelled something.

The ten foot tall status comes with the big brain Beckeye. The ABBA thing is this weekend so I meant next weekend. Must be a metric thing.

As someone who loves haters Pistols, I applaud your strategy.

Thanks Chancelucky. The excitement is practically nil I'm sure but if it helps me let just one blogger realize they're not as lame as me, my work is done.

Now that's an offer Flannery. You don't have a sledgehammer waiting for my toes do you? Misery loves company.

I like to set the bar low Suzel and that way I shine! Take good care of my baby or I'll send Bobby Vinton after you. Is he still alive?

Bluez said...

No way you can beat the cowpie dude. I have voted for both you and Beckeye every day, in fact I was number 89 and was pissed I wasn't Ms 90.

Jacy said...

I will vote for you over and over again!

Marloes said...

I've been voting for you since day one, but this is getting way to complicated ...I'll stick to what I know..:)

katrocket said...

I think donating your winnings to charity is a very nice idea, Dale. I think you're just saying that to win, but that's why I like your style. You (and the others) have my vote(s). Good luck team!

Beth said...

Kathy Lee may be able to recommend a good orphanage.

X. Dell said...

Wow, it must mean something to you if you're willing to spend $100 for a $25 prize. Then again, your charitable donation's probably a tax deduction, right?

Grant Miller said...

I voted. For you!

Dale said...

Thanks for the vote but not the vote of confidence Bluez. I'd have thought you might enjoy being Ms. 69 more!

And I will accept your votes Jacy!

I apologize for making your brain hurt Marloes, and thanks.

This could be my Sally Field 'you like me' moment Katrocket. I'm mentioning you in my speech just before I run off with the orphans' money!

Could someone get Kathy Lee on the phone please? Good thinking Beth.

Straight to the heart of it as always X. Dell. I think I've used up my tax write off for charity amount already but I'll claim anything. A lot of crazy ideas are borne of boredom.

Thanks Grant, I sort of kind of felt I might be able to rely on you.

deadspot said...

I'm fond of Heifer International and, no, it most certainly is not a gentleman's magazine with plus-sized models. It's a charity that provides training and livestock to make families and communities in the developing world self-sufficient.

If build a man a fire, you make him warm for a night, but if you set him on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Wait... that's not how it goes.

Zed said...

The Frankie & Johnny Fund for my two tuxedo cats is a hands-on, non-profit community initiative created in September 2007. It's such a worth endeavor. For a $100 donation, you will receive a fistful of hairball, a pound of litter, and a cup of Cat Chow. So worth it. Think about it.

Dale said...

Good call Deadspot, I like the idea of providing tangible hope. And that quote is my new motto, at least for the duration of this comment, hilarious.

I am thinking about it Zed and remember how you offered to cook for me? Yeah, I'm not that hungry anymore.

jewgirl said...

As long as the charity is dedicated to perpetuating homelessness, inhumane healthcare, unsafe abortions and starving the children, you have my vote.

I have a feeling it is, so I voted for you.

Dale said...

I'm glad we're so politically like minded Katie. Thanks.