9/29/2007

As Seen On TRV

I'll be the master of my own demise. After the Korean Bagel lady called me "dumbass" the other day, I mentioned it to a co-worker.

Later in the day, I went for coffee and the bagel lady said "You tell your friend I call you dumbass? She come here and say you call Dale (she pronounces my name more like Daire) a dumbass. So, you tell everybody?"

"Um, no, just her" I lied sheepishly.

"No I think I see it on terevision, you told the world...dumbass".

Her cackling this time rivalled anything the Wicked Witch ever produced. I made my retreat but with free coffee for my troubles.

I think she likes the idea of being thought a badass.

38 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL! You show fear. Now Korean Bagel lady owns you.

Mob said...

Oh Dale, you poor man.

If you'll put up a Paypal button, maybe we can all donate to your cause and just buy you a coffeemaker for work so you never have to relive these horrible events except possibly in therapy.

PJ said...

I'm enjoying the tales of the mean bagel lady, you poor dumbass.

Zed said...

Dale, why are you picking on this sweet, gentle, and lovely Korean Bagel Lady? Huh? Why? :)

Bubs said...

Dude, she is TOTALLY into you.

mellowlee said...

Maaaaaaaaaan! I can't believe your co-worker tattled on you! Still, I love the bagel lady stories

Jacy said...

I am loving her.

BeckEye said...

Dale and bagel lady sitting in a tree...

Jill said...

So when is the wedding, Dale??
Don't forget to take a load of picture and post it for us!!

Coaster Punchman said...

Say hi to another Tom!

jewgirl said...

It kills me that there is a bagelcunt amonst us and that she's shooting her venom at our beloved daleish.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

She's going to start dressing like Dawg the Bounty Hunter pretty soon, and start calling you brah. Which is marginally better than Daire.

Jake's Mom said...

I hope this mean you are going to learn Korean so you can diss her right back. Maybe not...she might spit in your coffee or bad mouth you to other coffee places :}

Splotchy said...

If you could somehow engineer it, try to get her to say this quote from Reservoir Dogs:

"If you wake up in a dream, you better wake up and apologize."

I'm thinking that the quote, her attitude and her accent would make the uttering of this the best possible thing that ever happened to anyone anywhere.

pistols at dawn said...

Why would you bring that up in conversation? "So, I hear you called this guy I work with a 'dumbass?'" Your co-worker needs friends, or conversation tips. Here's a free tip: shut it.

Distributorcap said...

sitcom in the making!


what if she opens a chain of bagel stores around the country......

or expands her business to Nail Salons and Fruit Stands (oops already did that)

or maybe she can outsource the schmearing to Pyongyang

Allison said...

The bagel lady stories and rivaling your neighbour stories. Please, keep them coming.

Bluez said...

Next she'll blurt out "I'll get you my little dumbass, and your little blog too!"

Marloes said...

Smartass actions will get you free coffee it seems?

anandamide said...

I'm with distributor cap. This is the type of sitcom the CBC would lap up in a minute !!!!

Suzel's Sass said...

Daire - she'll be cooking a rabbit in your pot pretty soon. You might have to switch to 7-11 coffee :)

Mistress La Spliffe said...

If it helps, I think I remember how to say 'shitbelly' in Korean - doong-bae, with a sort of upward intonation. But that'd only work as a tit-for-tat insult if she has a beergut.

X. Dell said...

If you have a bucket of water on you, I have a suggestion.

Dale said...

Just trying to live up to my 'dumbass' moniker Anonymous!

New strategy Mob, I'm going to buying coffee beans from David Lynch (see my newer post) and maybe I'll slip some to the Bagel Lady and see what happens.

Hi PJ, glad you're enjoying the follies!

Cause I'm a dumbass Zed?

She wants me Bubs, you know it, I know it, I wonder if she does?

I couldn't believe she said anything to her either Mel, I hope to learn from this experience!

Maybe you should join me some morning for coffee Jacy, throw her off the scent.

G-r-i-n-d-i-n-g, Beckeye!

I hope you'll be able to make the wedding Jill, we'll need someone to make coffee.

Tom = Dumbass? Is that what you're saying CP?

Don't let it kill you Katie, let the bagels do that.

She's marginally cuter than Dawg Barbara, marginally.

I may have to learn a few words just to surprise her with Jake's Mom, good idea.

A new quest, thank you Splotchy! And if I could record her saying it, we'd be rich, rich I tell you!

Pistols, how wise you are. I thought the same thing. The KBL didn't even know her.

Sometimes my life is like a bad sitcom Distributorcap, I'm not even sure I'd watch it!

If she keeps insulting me, I'll keep writing about it Allison. Now that I think of it, I've barely seen the neighbors lately.

Hilarious Bluez! I'm glad I wasn't drinking her coffee or anyone's coffee for that matter when I read ...and your little blog too.

Sometimes it works Marloes, I think she likes the back and forth comments.

They'd throw all sorts of money at it, underpromote it and I'd barely have to work again? I'm calling them tomorrow Anandamide.

It might be easier to cut out the caffeine and walk the long way 'round to get in to work Suzel. I don't want bunnies to suffer.

Excellent, thank you Mistress, next chance I get, I'm doong-baeing her!

Hahaha, that's good thinking X. Dell. I'll get a bucket ready tomorrow.

Jill said...

Dale, do you think that I have a load of time on my hands, lately??
Still, thank for the invitation, but I wouldn't want to be prettier than the bride!!

Dale said...

It wouldn't be hard to be prettier in this case Jill.

Coaster Punchman said...

No - I think long ago during the infancy of your KBL stories I left a comment about my own KSO (Korean store owner) who worked across the alley from an apartment I shared with another guy named Tom. Whenever either of us would go in there alone, she would say "say hi to another Tom!"

I'm crushed you don't have automatic recall of everything I've ever said in my life.

Dale said...

Who are you Coaster Punchman? And how did you get this number? I have no idea what you're talking about. I do remember now that you've added a little more context.

May this awful turn of events never occur again.

Jill said...

Dale, be nice with your fiancée!!

Johnny Yen said...

I wonder if this lady is related to the Soup Nazi.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Dude, from now on, do not buy any food that she serves to you.

Dale said...

I try Jill but she makes it so hard. If you know what I mean. Which you won't.

She may well be Johnny but occasionally she shows a softer side while she's calling me names. The Soup Nazi just scowls unrelentingly. There's a soup joint here called The Soup Nutsy which to me, is lame lame lame.

I always make sure that Necky or the other girl assembles the bagel WP just to be safe. Your comment has reminded me of another comment she made to me not long ago. My head reels.

T said...

I kinda rike her...

Dale said...

I knew you would T, at least a riddle bit.

Jill said...

What I have in mind, Dale, is probably not what you meant!!

Dale said...

And we may never know!

Old Lady said...

She's fuckin wit you man!

Dale said...

Every chance she gets, she does Old Lady. Luckily, I regularly provide her the opportunity.