Thankfully, the annual Festival of Forced Frivolity at the office is finished. There's only one F word missing from that bunch.
Every year when the reindeer games start, I hope there'll be an old fashioned shunning and I'll get to be baby Rudolph. Instead, I find myself in the thick of things practicing my silent scream. Someone spent far too much time this year organizing a friendly competition for the work teams in my area. There were decorations, posters and streamers (let's hear it for the toilet paper!).
There were fun! little tasks designed to pit us against each other while learning about ergonomics. Whee! Listen folks, all I need to know about ergonomics, I learned from my Mom. Sit up straight! (Other useful training modules for the office I've been sentenced to: WHMIS (Workplace Hazardous Materials Information System) -- this course teaches you to not drink the liquid paper. And I don't get danger pay?!
The Christmas baking season was very competitive this year with several entrants vying for the ohmygodthatsthebestshortbreadIhaveevertasted award but sadly, they all tasted about the same making it very difficult to declare one person Ugly Betty Crocker.
Peals of laughter rang louder than the telephones and the same people who spent most of the year avoiding eye contact with me smiled so broadly that I marvelled at the elasticity of their near human faces.
Outside of the office and back in my neighborhood, poorly managed light displays blink in quiet desperation. Trees suffer from the indignity of randomly thrown strings of lights and metal forms are strangled by mini lights. You there, at number 42! Is that some sort of Christmas shrimp out front?
Another house down the street has lit up plastic figurines of Santa, the nativity and Frosty all side by each. I love a good mixed message, don't you? And then there are the newly popular inflatable figures, plump and friendly, glowing by night but flat and deflated during the day, laying about on lawns like part of a strange yet festive crime scene.
With many at this time of year railing against the over commercialization of what was meant to be a religious celebration, let me be the one to say Move over baby Jesus, Dale needs a new pair of shoes. If any of you are out there shopping and thinking of me, please keep my Golden Rule close to your heart -- One for you, Two for me!
And with that, Happy Holidays to the lot of you, you big bunch of bloggers.
I'm already smarter
4 hours ago