7/29/2007

Firestarter

I went to see the new Hairspray movie hoping for quite a bit more than I got. While it was certainly fun and Nikki Blonsky fleshed out the role Ricki Lake originally took on, I think it suffered for not having John Waters in the director's seat. His cameo was more inspired than the casting of long time drag queen John Travolta as Edna Turnblad. The whole thing just made me want to see the original film again.

Mr. Waters has always been able to make me laugh, think and occasionally squinch up my nose in a I can't believe he put that in a movie! kind of way. His book Crackpot: The Obsessions of John Waters has long been a favourite as well. I was surprised recently to see him put in an appearance in Jackass 2 but not so shocked when he turned up in the excellent This Film Is Not Yet Rated that Chris talked about.

While watching the special features on the dvd of A Dirty Shame, I felt a strange kinship with him when I learned that I share one of his fears, spontaneous human combustion, something I've worried about on and off for years. Now that I've said it, I can move on to protecting my other secret shames with more vigilance and am free to take on other projects.

I wonder if he'd do a cameo on my blog or direct one of my posts if I asked nicely? In no time, Mr. Waters would be sure to get at the dark heart of me and ultimately make me redeemable or at least get the white kids in my head to dance with the black ones.

Maybe a little help from a fellow blogger and a certain dodgeball teacher he knows might work in my favour? Then again, the whole thing could just blow up in my face.

40 comments:

BeckEye said...

I saw "Hairspray" today too and liked it quite a bit. John may not be the best looking woman, but he can navigate himself around on heels better than I ever could. Oh, and he was just wonderful in general. As always.

Mob said...

I'm still pretty leery of the Hairspray re-make, though I'd like to catch it on video when it comes out, just to say that I did.

I think a Waters ghosted Passion Of The Dale would be a wild read.

I tagged you this evening if you'd care to play, if not you can just tell me to go piss up a wet rope, no hard feelings.

anandamide said...

Waters would be great, but a Christopher Walken cameo...even people who can't read would turn up at your site if you had a Walken cameo.

Beckeye, I have to disagree that Travolta is wonderful in general. What about that scientology movie where it looked like he had big snots hanging from his nose...Battlefield Earth?

PinkFluffySlippers said...

Dale honey I think the white kids in your head have done gone and mated with the black kids.

I feel old and sad that a remake of Hairspray exists. It's like remaking Rocky Horror or something. No point whatsoever.

Bubs said...

Spontaneous Human Combustion...Dale. You too? I used to lie awake nights worrying about it. Then I realized, if I don't chain smoke and fall asleep drunk in overstuffed chairs, my chances of combusting go WAY down. Just so you know.

I read John Waters' first book "Shock Value" but haven't seen the one you mentioned. I better get on that!

I think your John Waters guest shot is possible. Give it a try.

Flannery Alden said...

I love John Waters. He did a recurring segment for one of VH1's many pop culture shows where he talked about 70's porn. Never in my life have I wanted so badly to hang out, drink champagne cocktails and watch 70's porn with someone, but John Waters seemed like the perfect candidate.

...Until I found the Passion of the Dale, that is.

BeckEye said...

Anandamide - Well, that's the easy response. Battlefield Earth is John Travolta's worst moment. Imagine you go out and get hammered, act like a jackass, fall down and split your pants. You might be a wonderful person in general, but people who witnessed that will always say, "Yeah but what about that time you got drunk and split your pants?" Fun for them, but it gets old for you. And eventually, it will get old for them. I no longer know what the hell I'm talking about; I just know that I love John Travolta. I must defend him, even if I should have learned by now to never, ever try to formulate an argument before noon.

pistols at dawn said...

If John Waters is one thing, it's available. He is to Baltimore what Bjork is to Iceland: it's impossible to meet that many people there who don't know him. In fact, i ran into him in a bar there some two months ago...and no, it wasn't the Blue Oyster Bar.

And I categorically refuse to see this remake because it violates my Face/Off rule, which is: either lead actor in that film makes me want to tear my own face off, or at least my eyes.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Now I have horrible images in my mind that feature hairspray and lighters and spontaneous human combustion.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Maybe you shouldn't hang out with him, the "Hairspary" and "Polyester" certainly don't help, in terms of spontaneous combustion. I can't imagine that the plastic that goes into Kraft Pizzas would help, either.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Shit, Barbara beat me to the "Hairspary" comment.

T said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa,--you watch the 'special features' on a dvd? I thought only people with eclectic mannerisms and nerds watch that stuff.

Man, I learn new things abote Canadians everyday...

X. Dell said...

I'll probably get around to seeing the new version, even though I thought the original was only okay. As a big John Waters fan, I find it ironic that one of his least inspired movies was his most successful--I guess because of its PG-13 rating which allowed a wider audience to sample his style of humor.

Dale said...

I liked it Beckeye, I just didn't love it. I found John difficult to understand, was that an accent or a problem with the prosthetic? And where were the dulcet tones he proved he has as in his big 'hit' 'Let Her In'?

I'd love him to ghost me Mob, he's one of my heroes. I'll check out your tag and then decide whether to tell you off.

Christopher would scare off the kids Anandamide don't you think? I'd also worry about whether he'd throw me off the side of my blog in the night.

It wasn't horrible, just different Pink Fluffy, I'm guessing you haven't seen the musical either? It's not bad, just not fantastic.

Bubs! My how you've changed - your avatar and your self preservation habits! That's sound advice, I'll consider it. I'll also be looking for Shock Value too.

Flannery, I think you should cancel Chicago and swing by Toronto instead. I've got booze and porn!

Beckeye - Look Who's Talking, Look Who's Talking Too, Look Who's Talking Now. Just sayin'. Oh, and this.

Availability is a good thing in this case then Pistols at Dawn. Your rule is a good one though.

I'm being very careful in my juggling act Barbara. Plus my blog's retardant.

Please Write Procrastinator, no disparaging of the Kraft Pizza. Even if you're correct. And no swearing either! Well, okay, a little is alright. I'm so fucking wishy washy.

Anytime I'm oot and aboot T, I tic so hard even the nerds won't have me. When I'm not doing that, I'm teaching Merricans stuff.

You're right X. Dell that the rating may well have had a lot to do with everyone's Hairspray exposure, it was still a lot of fun though. I'm sorry this one didn't keep you in it's Ultra Clutch.

Bubs said...

Flannery, don't fall for Dale's schmoozing. Chicago has WAY better porn and booze than Canada.

BeckEye said...

The original "Look Who's Talking" was a delightful movie. And I have plenty of people who will back me up on that. I'll agree that the other two were...not...great. But that wasn't John's fault. It was fat Kirstie Alley and those damn kids...and dogs..and lamps.

Oh, the gay thing! That's the two in the one-two punch of people trying to dog Travolta. "You did Battlefield Earth...queer!"

I think John was trying to do an accent. I've read in some articles that it was a pretty good "authentic Baltimore accent" and somewhere I read that he sounded like Dr. Evil. I thought there was a touch of Ed Sullivan, and it was weird at first but I don't think it was that distracting. Just certain words were highlighted, like "arn" (iron)which is kind of close to how Pittsburghers say it.

Bella Rossa said...

I will always have a powerful fondness for the man who tried to stage the comeback of Smell-O-Vision.

Did you ever see this documentary? It's awesome:

http://www.netflix.com/Movie/Divine_Trash/60001247?trkid=147042

Dale said...

I'm not sure if you should check Bubs' sources or not Flannery. I would at least throw in poutine and a Bloody Caesar.

I actually loved John Travolta in Pulp Fiction Beckeye and wish him no harm. Everything is definitely Kirstie's fault. I'll watch it again on dvd just to see if it still bugs me.

I think I might have seen it Bella but just me saying that means I should see it again. Thanks for the tip and ah yes, Smell-O-vision, the man's a genius.

Chancelucky said...

Believe it or not, I saw the original version of Hairspray for the first time last weekend. Before that I had no idea where Rikki Lake had come from.
My family went to see the remake, but I couldn't join them. I'm not sure I'll ever see the new version....Did you mean "certain dodgeball teacher"? or did the new version turn the dodgeball into volleyball?

Maybe they'll remake Saturday Night Fever and let Divine play the role of Tony. There's the small matter of Divine being dead, but they shouldn't let that get in the way.

Jill said...

Come on, a fear about instant human combustion??? It is kind of atomicly impossible!

jin said...

John Waters is my God.

(Oh....that explains a lot about me, doesn't it?!)

My Interview is Complete.
In fact, your questions were so tame that I didn't have to hide it on UNPLUGGED! It's right on the front page of jintrinsique for all the world to see!

Beth said...

I haven't been interested in seeing the new version. I'm too much of a fan of the original, and Travolta's drag kind of scares me.

Have you seen John Waters' new show on Court TV?

Beth said...

BTW, I'm fascinated by spontaneous human combustion. I even have a book about it — with photos.

katrocket said...

I will probably rent Hairspray when it's on DVD but I love the original movie so much, I'm not sure I can mentally accept a new version.

I, too, am fanscinated/terrified by Spontanious Human Combustion. I first saw it on "In Search Of..." with Leonard Nimoy when I was like 10 or 11 years old, and I had nightmares for a week. Everyone's seen that pic of the torched chair and half a leg on the floor... Classic real horror.

katrocket said...

sorry I spelled "spontaneous" wrong. Spank me, Dale.

deadspot said...

I was going to say that I liked this movie the first time I saw it... when it was called Hairspray, except that joke doesn't really work in this case, because they didn't even bother to change the name, so I didn't.

And I was going to say that I also watch the special features on DVDs (The bit on the Wonderfalls DVD where they finally explain the line about her manicure to Katie Finneran? Hilarious.), and that I prefer to be called a geek rather than a nerd, but I think I've already said that, and really, does anyone need a reminder that I'm a geek?

But then I got distracted by katrocket's comment...

...and by her blog.

Now I'm just jealous. I'm going to go and sulk.

pistols at dawn said...

John Travolta's Baltimore accent kinda sucks. It's not as bad as, say, Harrison Ford and Brad Pitt's "here one scene, gone the next" Irish accents in "The Devil's Own," but as a native Marylander, I can say that it took about twelve trailer viewings for us to even realize he was attempting a Baltimoron accent.

Flannery Alden said...

Hmm...I know Canada does booze right...I've just never seen Canadian porn. Does everyone say "eh" and wear toques? If so, Consider Chicago cancelled!

deadspot said...

"Eh! Eh! Eh! Ehhhhhhhhhh..."

Now I'm scarred, Flan. How do I get that image out of my head?

Coaster Punchman said...

Afraid I'll be little help to you here Dale. I'm not even in contact with the gym teacher any more, and I don't think she was in contact with JW anyway. Now if you want to meet Nellie Oleson, we should talk....

Christie said...

I just can't get over John Travolta as a woman. And I really can't get over how well he plays a woman.

Dale said...

Tsk tsk Chancelucky! You should have clicked the volleyball link for a much better story than the one I'm sticking to. Your casting suggestion was of course, Divine.

I'm not sure you're atomically possible either Jill.

Nice work Jin, a tonic really.

I thought you were kidding Beth until I looked it up. We don't get Court TV here, how is it? I'm not in any of the photos in your book, am I? Do you need a picture of my feet to be sure?

I'm not sure where I first heard of it Katrocket but I know it scared the bejeesus out of me too and passes through my mind occasionally. Did you see the musical version of Hairspray? The film's fairly faithful to that although there are some casting misfires, it's fun. You're going to just have to integrate the versions. Here kitty kitty.

Hey DeadGeek, thank you for supporting me in my viewing habits regarding special features. Hands off Katrocket. Or actually, based on her last comment, hands on!

Marylander - is that like Highlander somehow Pistols at Dawn? And did you just say Baltimoron? Hahaha.

We do Flannery! Just don't ask about the back bacon right now.

Sometimes we call out other letters of the alphabet too Deadspot!

Whoa Nellie, Coaster Punchman, I did read the story, I just thought it needed rereading and helped me use my 'blow up in my face' joke. I'm such a user.

And he's always a woman to me, Christie. There's a song in there somewhere.

deadspot said...

Would I sound less creepy if I explained that I was jealous of how funny her blog was, while I'm posting "What I Did On My Summer Vacation?"

Probably not. I think my last comment ruined any chance at that whole "Deadspot-doesn't-make-me-go-'Eww!'" thing.

Chancelucky said...

I did click the link. I got a story about Coaster Punchman running into the Doooodge Ball teacher form Hairspray....

Jill said...

I just saw Hairspray(I didn't watch the original, heard a lot about it, but never found it). John Travolta is hilarious as a drag queen!!! It was a great movie, with good background values!!

Dale said...

Nope, you're right Deadspot, still creepy. But I'm sure Katrocket will love you just the same.

I can't believe I did that Chancelucky! I changed it to read dodgeball. Maybe I was thinking of your volleyball posts at the time? I'm a maroon.

I'm glad you liked it Jill, background values and all.

hapabukbuk said...

i just saw hairspray myself...travolta ruined the experience for me. :(
LOVE jon waters! actually got to hear him speak at a convention in the city last month. he was HA'LARIOUS. he told lots of stories about him and divine when they were young and full blown delinquents. amazing man. amazing, efed up man.

Dale said...

Oh I wish I'd been there Hapabukbuk, it must have been awesome. Thanks for the Travolta support, I didn't think he, Michelle or Christopher or Amanda Bynes for that matter added anything special. They were all just adequate.

Malcolm: said...

I have been wanting to catch the new version of "Hairspray", but my schedule has made it somewhat difficult. Maybe over one of the next couple of weekends I'll be able to check it out.

When they 1st announced that John Travolta was cast as Edna Turnblad, I had no doubt that he could pull it off. I say this because he appeared in drag on an episode of "Welcome Back, Kotter". I can't remember the plot of the episode, but Barbarino was dressed as a cleaning lady for some reason. He had these humongous breasts and he was pushing a mop!

Dale said...

You'll have bucket loads of fun then I'm sure Malcolm. I don't remember that episode of Welcome Back Kotter but then again, I don't remember many of them really. That song though!