7/14/2007

In Between Meals

Summerlicious is underway in Toronto and this means some good eating at restaurants I've not been to or have found too expensive to experiment with. Three course meals ranging between fifteen and thirty-five dollars is a great way to find out if you want to go steady with a particular restaurant.

While I buzz around town pretending I'm someone, it isn't always like this in my eating world. Usually, I'm just a guy who'll eat almost anything as long as I don't have to cook it. As with most rules, there is an exception. I hereby divulge my love for the one thing I will cook but wouldn't dare serve to guests:

Kraft Pizza.

It's not so much a pizza as a box of ingredients that you put together to make a little taste of heaven. There's a packet of pizza flour (just add water), a can of sauce (just open) and some fine herbs and cheese (to just sprinkle on top). A little elbow grease and 13 minutes in the oven is all it takes for a little taste of heaven.

My mother introduced her army of children to this fine delicacy many years ago and it was one of the few things she cooked burned that still managed to taste pretty damned good. She could take one package of that dough mix and stretch it over two full cookie sheets.

Occasionally, there would be crumbled hamburger on top or a can of whole button mushrooms, no pieces and stems for us, such luxury! Did you know that if you thinly slice wieners and put them on, it's almost like a fancy pepperoni? Shut up, we were poor.

Tonight when I go out for what will most likely be the last of my Summerlicious jaunts this year, everything will be compared to the Kraft Pizza I had just last night (plain but with extra cheddar and mozzarella).

50 comments:

chelene said...

I've never seen Kraft Pizza here, I'll look again.

Also, we call it Restaurant Week here. Summerlicious sounds tastier.

Bluez said...

um, ewww!

Coaster Punchman said...

Enjoy. We all have our secret trash food cravings at times. Although yours is no longer so secret.

Dale said...

We also have a Winterlicious Chelene just to be snappy.

As I said, I'd never serve it to guests Bluez.

I have many trash food craving secrets Coaster Punchman, imagine the boredom those posts could cause.

Bluez said...

So do you have fallicious and springlicious too?

My favorite trash food is everyday saltines with american cheese. 4 crackers on one slice. My mother used to give us white bread with butter and sugar on it as a treat. I thought it was heaven back then.

Tanya Espanya said...

I can't believe you're telling the bloggie world about the pizza in a box!

Let's see...I like elbow macaroni with tomato paste in a pie plate, completely covered with real parmesan cheese and then broiled to melt the cheese...I also love biscuits with sausage gravy... Okay, now I'm going to have to do a post about this!

Will you be posting any reviews of your restaurant outings? I'm going out tonight, in fact.

pistols at dawn said...

I knew I was destined to have white trash tastes when my favorite meal growing up was a 29 cent chicken pot pie.

When actual restaurants offered pot pies with actual crusts and vegetables that weren't shipped unrefrigerated from Ukraine a decade ago, I was left disappointed, wanting something more - specifically, something more fattening and horrible for me.

So it is without reservation that I endorse Kraft Pizza. Kudos to you, my Epicurean brother!

Bubs said...

Sounds tasty!

I recently bought a can of SPAM for the first time in years, based on Mr. Punchman's recommendation of a SPAM pizza burger recipe. Now I just have to find someone to spring it on.

Coaster Punchman said...

Bubs, let me know how it turns out!

Valerie said...

We were poor too. I don't think we had take-out pizza until my brother worked for a pizza place as a delivery driver.

Chancelucky said...

Dale,
I've never heard of Kraft pizza in a box. I vaguely remember one of my cousins making something like a pizza with English Muffins (crumpets?) pre-sliced American cheese (do they call it that in Canada?) and tomato sauce....all dropped into a toaster oven with a bunch of garlic salt.

It wasn't very good then, not sure it would be very good now. She grew up to be a home economics teacher so it's possible that thousands of young women are now making her version of instant pizza.

BeckEye said...

Yeah, sure you would never serve it to guests. How many women have you seduced with your Kraft-pizza-by-candlelight move?

lulu said...

I love Kraft Dinner (aka Mac and Cheese)particularly with cut up hotdogs in it. YUM.

Tenacious S said...

Our family made Appian Way pizzas. Same idea. We ate a lot of casseroles. Guess our economic status.

X. Dell said...

Wow, I haven't seen a Kraft Pizza mix for years. They were a big thing back in the Sixties, and they had a ton of commercials. Then, all of a sudden, I never saw them anymore.

If you're finding them, then they're (a) only marketed in select areas, or (b) I'm just not looking hard enough. I've never had one of those in my life, you understand. But still, I am curious.

Zed said...

Dale, Dale, Dale. The words Kraft and pizza shouldn't even be found in the same sentence together. Does the name Kraft sound Italian? No. I think not.

Would you eat Kraft Sushi, Kraft Bengali Eggplant with Mustard Seeds, or Kraft Poi? Doesn't work, does it?

Kraft is synonymous with generic, plain, boring, and common: like Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. It's "okay," but it's loaded with salt and the macaroni is swimming in a bizarre bright orange pseudo-cheese sauce. Yum. Not.

Oh what the heck. Enjoy. We only live once. So you chop a few years from your life for the delicious Kraft pizza ... go right ahead. :)

Reese said...

Hi Daley,

With certain foods, it's not so much the actual taste of the food you enjoy, but the memories that eating it evokes (oh my god, that sounds gay).

Kraft dinner is like that, too. The whole Kraft line, actually. Although I'm guessing it might just be a Canadian thing.

Later, Daley!

mellowlee said...

Hey, I've had Kraft Pizza before, and it's awesome :O)

Tanya Espanya said...

Zed, Kraft sushi! hahahahaha!!! I love that!

Barbara Bruederlin said...

If I ever had the opportunity to dine at Casa Dale, I would insist upon Kraft pizza in a box. That was a huge treat around our house when I was a kid! It was a Friday night thing and we always had it exactly as god intended - no fancy mushrooms or weiners added.

We were also big fans (on special occasions - when they were on sale - only) of those one-serving boxes of breakfast cereal that you sliced open down the middle and poured the milk right into the box. Those were so cool.

John Mutford said...

Glad to share a memory with you, Dale. We did (and occasionally still do) the Kraft Pizza in a Box. And yes, we did the sliced weiners too.

Flannery Alden said...

I've never tried Kraft pizza in a box. We were a Chef Boy-R-Dee pizza in a box family. The cheese was crumbled parmesean (or a reasonable facsimile) and the can of sauce had pepperoni in it already.

Ah, tasty. I remember making it and trying to get the dough to stretch across the entire cookie sheet. At some points, you could read the paper through it.

The Freelance Cynic said...

I have to try this!

PinkFluffySlippers said...

It does sound delightful. There's just something appealing about a set of little packets of ingredients that you get to assemble into "food". I especially like the ones that require no refrigeration, thus making the transformation all the more magical.

Jill said...

We put so much on our Kraft pizza, that my friend in university tease me... They were saying that I was making lasagna instead of a pizza!! But I like it like that, full of ingredients!!
And why Summerlicious is almost done, there is still two month of summer!!???
Barbara, you had to be carefull with those boxes when opening them!!! It happen that I cut the bag all the way through and have milk all over...

gifted typist said...

Oh Kraft pizza:

My first pizza throw-up was a Kraft pizza.

Thank you for the sweet memories, Dale. Thank you.

Dale said...

We're left to our own devices and their regular prices for the other two seasons Bluez. Anything with sugar has to be good, right?

It was nice of you to bring the pie plate of goo with you to the restaurant Tanya. It was good seeing Rowbear and your other seester and husband too!

We are epicurean brothers Pistols at Dawn! I loved those little pies and now I want one.

Sounds like it could be a taste sensation Bubs and somehow I find myself glad this once that you live sort of far away.

Bubs, let CP know how it turns out!

Did he steal it Valerie or did you take all his earnings and force him to buy it for you?

American cheese slices = Kraft singles here Chancelucky and I think they might have even pushed something like your cousin's concoctions. Kraft used to sponsor The Carol Burnett Show and they were always giving 'recipe' recommendations at the commercial breaks.

My secret is out Beckeye. Legions of women, you know from The Legion?

Now you see Lulu, I couldn't eat that because they're just hot dogs, not pretend pepperoni. I eat the Kraft dinner once a year or so and still enjoy it, at least the first serving. After that, I usually say 'what the hell am I eating', before I finish it.

Casseroles Ten S? Sounds fancy! We had a lot of 'boiled dinners'.

Or (c) they stopped making them years ago and I'll drop dead any minute from spoiled food X. Dell.

Zed, you're a hater now! I thought you were on the side of sweetness and light. I'm crushed.

Yes Reese, that sounded gay. I'm still trying to forget most of my memories. I may just forgo the pizza. By the way, I still think about your 'Angela's Ashes childhood' comment to me and laugh my ass off.

Thank you Mellowlee, I knew you were a woman of distinction.

Tanya, no talking to Zed. She's a hater now.

We loved those cereal packs too but rarely got them Barbara, I think I first had one when I was in hospital after the truck hit me twice that time. If you end up here, I may have to break my rule and make one.

As long as we're not sharing a brain John, it's all good. We are Canadian!

I loved the idea of the pepperoni in the sauce Flannery but we were definitely Kraft supporters at my house.

Please do Freelance Cynic and let us know the results.

Magic is the right word Pink Fluffy Slippers!

I had my load it up stage too with the pizza Jill and also suffered the torn box/milk thing. See, we could be related! Merde.

And thank you for the imagery Gifted Typist. I hope someone was holding your hair!

Beth said...

I've never bitten into a Kraft pizza ... but I love me some Boboli pizza to make at home.

Andi said...

I've never seen it here, but it sounds brilliant!!

katrocket said...

I also had a Summerlicious moment last night, which was awesome. We should compare notes.

And you've performed a major culinary service by introducing many newbies to the Wonders of Kraft Pizza, which was also one of my family faves as a kid.

Another big hit: the El Paso Taco kit - a special treat in my house, for those rare nights when dad made good at the track.

Mistress La Spliffe said...

I eat like a queen here but every six or seven months I think I'd kill for some Kraft dinner.

Kraft must be German for 'secret food shame to be blogged about under a pseudonym.' Such an economical and expressive language.

Jill said...

Hope not, Dale... I never heard that we had someone called Dale in the family...Might be a New-brunswick thing!! Now, I'm craving homemade pizza!! DAmn you!!

jewgirl said...

I love white trash food! you're aces in my book, kid.

Evil Genius said...

"In Between Meals" is one of my favorite songs by the Cure.

Allison said...

I have never heard of this Kraft Pizza. Hmm, sounds delish though. Well, not with the "fancy" pepperoni, but to each their own.

Johnny Yen said...

My mother, who is actually an excellent cook, served Kraft macaroni and cheese a lot out of necessity-- she worked full time, had three children and my father cooked about twice a year (on the grill). I was quite tired of mac and cheese by the time I was an adult.

Grant Miller said...

Kraft Pizza? Are you sure?

My wife used to work for Kraft. She swears against anything Kraft-related now.

Dale said...

Boboli? Sounds more Italian than Kraft Beth!

It's quite spectacular if you don't mind mediocre dining Andi.

Wish my Dad had played the ponies Katrocket, who knows what other culinary wonders would have been introduced? I think I had to wait until I left home before I ever even laid eyes on a taco.

Do you need a Care Package M. LaSpliffe?

And damn you too Jill.

Someday, I want to read your book Katie. Love, White Trash Dale

Mine too Evil Genius - Yesterday I got so old, I felt like pizza pie

The 'pepperoni' no longer seems so fancy Allison and has been dropped from the list of items.

No doubt she needed the time just to breathe Johnny Yen, sounds like she was damned busy.

So you can't even get away with saying your wife was in Kraftwerk Grant?

Evil Genius said...

I am wiping a tear of laughter away from my evil eye from your response to my comment.

I think I may be in love with the idea that you may be in love with Lulu for being in love...

Dale said...

You set me up Evil Genius. Don't cry on the fish okay?

T said...

Come to think of it, I've gone to Chinese, Italian, Mexican, Armenian, French (before I learned I was supposed to hate them), and Turkish Restaurants, but never a Canadian Restaurant to eat.

When frozen pizzas are the creme-de-la-creme of a national food, beware.

Dale said...

Additional tip on Canadian cuisine for you T. If you ever eat at a restaurant called Wayne Gretzky's, don't order the burger, it looks and tastes like a hockey puck.

Old Lady said...

Huh uh!! No way! My Grandmother made the same pizza!!! We loved it.

Dale said...

Your grandmother was a lady of taste and distinction, sort of. Come on over and I'll make you one Old Lady.

Anonymous said...

KRAFT Pizza mix pizza is my FAVORITE MEAL!!!! I JUST made that for supper last night!! Use the hottest water from your tap, not luke warm like the pack says, keep it in a fairly hot spot on the stove for 10min to rise, use the LARGE pizza mix on ONE cookie sheet, add ton's of cheddar, motza, parmesan and fetta, and you have the BEST pizza in the world!!!!!! Garlic sausage on top of the cheese with parmessan on top of the sausage it delightful! Bacon is good too, mmmm!!! I don't care what anyone say's, If I made them this pizza, they would agree that it's the best!!! :D

Anonymous said...

Oh ya, I also buy the big box for $4.69 @ Walmart. $2 bucks cheaper than the other stores in town!!!

Dale said...

Sounds delicious in your variation Anonymous. I'd use a double over two cookie sheets though, I like the thinner crust. All that cheese and sausage is a good idea and I've used bacon too. Another person with exquisite taste! :-)

Anonymous said...

Kraft Pizza Mixes were marketed from at least the early/mid '60s until they were withdrawn from the US market in the mid '80s. Not sure why Kraft withdrew them, but that was a sad day.

They were a staple of my diet all that time and I sorely missed them when they disappeared. But some years later, thanks to the arrival of the Internet, I discovered that Kraft still marketed them in Canada. Not only that, there was a company that sold Canadian favourites on the web, mainly to Canadian Snowbirds in Florida.

So now, I'm once again enjoying them on a regular basis. They are not trash food as some here have said, but are wonderful comfort food, especially if you add pepperoni, and whole milk mozarella cheese. That little herb packet really makes the mix great.

Long live Kraft Pizza Mixes! At least try them before you condescend to them.

tfrielin said...

Kraft Pizza Mixes were marketed from at least the early/mid '60s until they were withdrawn from the US market in the mid '80s. Not sure why Kraft withdrew them, but that was a sad day.

They were a staple of my diet all that time and I sorely missed them when they disappeared. But some years later, thanks to the arrival of the Internet, I discovered that Kraft still marketed them in Canada. Not only that, there was a company that sold Canadian favourites on the web, mainly to Canadian Snowbirds in Florida.

So now, I'm once again enjoying them on a regular basis. They are not trash food as some here have said, but are wonderful comfort food, especially if you add pepperoni, and whole milk mozarella cheese. That little herb packet really makes the mix great.

Long live Kraft Pizza Mixes! At least try them before you condescend to them.

Dale said...

Ah Tfrielin! They know not what they say. I still enjoy them and as we know, Kraft Pizza mix is to be honoured and adored!

When I was looking around on the web for a photo, I noticed the site that sells 'Canadian' food to the world too.

Glad you're a kindred pizza eater!