5/12/2007

Breathe

At last night's opera intermission, some guy came up to me and asked if I'd be interested in learning more about new tobacco products such as 'smokeless tobacco'. My rule is that if it's not heroin, I ain't buying.

20 comments:

mellowlee said...

Someone is going around pushing snuff? At the opera!!!! That's just messed up! ha

Chris said...

That is a good rule of thumb, Dale.

I prefer crack myself because it's not addictive.

pezda said...

Sure, the opera is the perfect forum for introducing new tobacco products. It's so obvious.

"jew" "girl" said...

I can't believe that other hallucinogenic products and cocaine are not on your buy list, dale. this is most disconcerting!

Tenacious S said...

Because mouth cancer is so much better and more high class than blue collar lung cancer.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Oh yeah, smokeless tobacco products at the opera! Then we can have those adorable spitoons in the lobby, where we will all gather around and go for distance.

chelene said...

Smokeless. So thoughtful of the tobacco industry...you might get cancer but at least your clothes and hair still smell fresh.

You would think the opera folks would want to sell something more trippy to enhance the experience. LSD, perhaps?

Mob said...

What sort of look were you wearing that attracted his attention, sir?

"Now this guy, he needs something to get him through the rest of the night..."

Am In Trance.. said...

Hee Hee Haa Ho !!
Are U Serious ??
;)

Johnny Yen said...

In these days of waffling and half-measures, it's good to know someone is still standing on principles! Bless you Dale!

I'm curious, though-- would it have been more appealing to you if he'd referred to it by its proper appellation, "chaw?"

Coaster Punchman said...

Come on Dale, you should try chew. You'd look really hot spitting into an empty beer can.

Dale said...

It was very strange, there were two of them Mel.

Crack is okay but there's just something sexier about heroin for me Chris.

If they can push Oil of Olay anti-aging samples at us, tobacco's a shoe in Pezda.

If there's a slew of things to choose from JewGirl, I might be swayed and then swaying.

It was weird Tenacious S., two young fresh faced kind of guys pushing the stuff.

Wouldn't that make for a lively intermission Barbara? Those not spitting could cheer the rest on by singing Going the Distance by Cake.

That would have made my 2nd last opera experience a helluva lot better Chelene.

I thought I was hiding the shakes pretty good Mob but busted again.

Yep, serious I am, Am in Trance.

If only he'd just come up and said 'want some chaw?' Johnny, well, I still would have said no.

I think I would too CP. Maybe next time, I'll give it a go.

gizmorox said...

Yum. Nothing like gnawing on fiberglass to heighten the opera going experience.

Grant Miller said...

What are your thoughts on smokeless heroin?

gifted typist said...

Couldn't agree more on the interval/intermission discussion.

Intermission = sweaty sports, ball caps

Interval = opera, theatre, class

Chancelucky said...

I thought smokeless tobacco was the stuff you chew then spit into a can or the floor of a dugout on a baseball field. WAs this guy talking that stuff? Or was he talking about a cigarette that doesn't emit smoke?

Either case, would be cool to have an opera house filled with patrons with a big chaw sticking out of one side of their jaws, spitting off the balcony between arias. Maybe could do it for Puccini's Girl of the Golden West.

Dale said...

Some nights it'd be a welcome distraction Giz!

I'm for it Grant. You holding?

Meet me at the interval Gifted Typist, we'll have chocolate or wine, sumpin classy.

It is Chancelucky unless he was toting something else in that bag. Maybe I should stop my policy of ignoring everyone who asks me telemarkety type stuff in public. A grand visual there too, thanks.

Old Lady said...

Why buy something off the street when you can get it cheaper in the store? Now I need to go out and get some Vicadin.

Dale said...

Get enough for all of us please Old Lady. Sharing is fun.

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