5/03/2007

Turn The Beat Around

I noticed a sign the other day near a construction site. I thought it particularly elegant.

Construction Vehicle
Access and Egress

Egress. What a nice old fashioned way to say exit. The next part of the sign was indeed old fashioned. It said

Obey Flagman

In this case, the flagman was a very dishevelled looking female security guard with a cigarette in her mouth looking at her nails on one hand while halfheartedly holding a sign that summed things up.

SLOW

I wanted to tell her to STOP but that would have meant she'd have to twirl the sign all the way around and she clearly had other things on her mind.

26 comments:

lulu said...

Whenever students stand in my doorway during passing periods, I tell them that they need to move as they are blocking egress. "Who's Egress?"

mellowlee said...

haha, they do say there are two seasons here, Winter and Road Construction. Egress is a great word. I will try to use it at work tomorrow.

Andi said...

Egress. How lovely. It rolls off the tongue.

Coaster Punchman said...

I don't think egress is used enough every day. I think I'll start using it in every sentence.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Ah yes, Dale Barnum, "this way to the egress."

BeckEye said...

Access and Egress. Yet another great band name.

Mob said...

The only reason I know what an egress is was because it was used in a story that Judge Harry Stone told waaay back in my youth on an old episode of Night Court

Television: The great educator?

It also taught me that if you run into a painted tunnel on a wall, a coyote will try unsuccessfully to follow.

Mountjoy said...

You misunderstood: slow was her state of mind. The shortbus probably came round at 3:15 to pick her up....

Mistress La Spliffe said...

I used the word 'egress' the other day when I was talking to a formal Swedish woman with an apartment I was interested about how my cat needed to fuck off outside from time to time.

Tanya Espanya said...

I always thought egress was a kind of bird.

Tenacious S said...

You would never see those signs here in the States, Land of the Rude and Home of the Mentally Challenged.

Chancelucky said...

Dale,
was this another one of your dreams or did this happen in your waking life?

I think when you put "exit" on a motor vehicle of any kind, people get confused and think it's a highway exit.

There's a PT Barnum story that he wanted to get people out of his "museum" a bit faster so he posted a sign "This way to the Egress" which of course led them out to the street....

not sure how that technique would apply to a construction site.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Ah yes - Flagman - she who must be obeyed. She was only slow because her moonlighting job as a dominatrix wears her out, it wears her out, it weaaaars her out.

Grant Miller said...

I wish the sign just read OBEY and the flagman (or woman) held a whip.

Bluez628 said...

Maybe she was waiting for a guy named Obey Flagman, you never know with names these days.

Jill said...

Learn a new english word!! Would I remember it tomorrow?? No!!
Like she doesn't inhale enough tar through her job, she smokes to make it worst!!

Bubs said...

I only know "egress" because it's cop-speak and dignitary-protection-speak for "exit"

Hey, here in Illinois the flag girls (the ones who hold up the signs that say "slow" or "stop" are usually the pretty hot-looking daughters or girlfriends of the general contractors. Evidently it's not like that in Canada, eh?

Dale said...

Good to keep them on their toes Lulu especially if they're going to be loitering like that.

You must let me know how it went Mel.

An exit by any other name is base and unfitting Andi. Do your part and use it every single day.

I appreciate the support CP, it's not easy trying to turn the whole language around single handedly. I can sleep again at night.

If you let me call you WP, you may address me at DB, WP.

I'm not going to have to play tambourine again am I Beckeye?

Thank you for pointing out the coyote truths Mob. All crusaders are welcome. I'm all about television learning.

As I passed her, I thought the sign summed many things up Mountjoy. I hope she doesn't get run over by the shortbus.

'How do I fuck off out of here?' is a perfectly acceptable question Mistress. You are wise.

You spend a lot of time ducking the birds don't you Tanya?

Rude signs are enjoyable too Tenacious S, just less than appropriate.

This was part of a waking life walkby Chancelucky. PT was no sucker was he?

But does it wearrrr her out really Barbara? Such control by night and lack of command by day.

That's the flagman everyone wants to see Grant. I will make a proposal to her but not a modest one.

If she'd been at the airport with the sign, I could've totally seen that Bluez.

You have to use it or lose it Jill, the word I mean.

Not on this site it's not, the highway construction sign girls usually look a lot better, especially when it's hot out Bubs.

The Freelance Cynic said...

That's a beautiful word. I can image top cat saying it. "Egress, stage left...!

gifted typist said...

It's so Jane Austenian. Well-observed juxtaposition, P of the D

Tenacious S said...

Oh, and your powers of mind control are gaining in strength. I am now afraid to check your site.

Molecular Turtle said...

That's actually pretty nifty. One of those under used words.

X. Dell said...

Maybe she held up the 'slow' sign because she wanted you to know that she was slow.

Dale said...

Was Topcat the same as our Snagglepuss Freelance?

Why thank you Gifted Typist, may your stock continue to rise!

Just for you Tenacious S, I'll take a break from the mind control. For instance, when you read my post called Indelible, I don't want you thinking Unforgettable, that's what you aaaaare.

Please use it Turtle, it needs help in every walk of life.

I'm quite sure the sign could easily have said cloudy X. Dell. It was definitely indicative.

Holly said...

I like to pair "egress" with "ingress," as in "I have a driveway for ingress and egress to my garage."

Then there are the doors in the capital building, which provide ingress and egress for Congress.

Dale said...

And Congress would still be asking 'how do I get in?' and 'how do we get out?'.