11/19/2006

Facts and Figures

If Grant Miller and Echo Tremaine can post their real life photos on their blogs, then why can't I?

I know that as soon as I hit the Publish Post button, I'll regret it.

My regret will lie not with the fact that you will know me as more than the Bee your dreams are made of but on the fact that while these photographs are indeed of me, I have never looked this good in real life.

These are the photos of my 2 most recent passports taken by a master craftsman. He didn't have much to work with but he did something right.

Figure 1 - 2000
Figure 2 - 2005
Figure 3 - 2006

50 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your latest picture really brings out all the qualities I love about you.

And that jaunty little feather, you're rockin' it!

chelene said...

Sweet holy Moses...I've never seen passport photos so spectacular. We should all go to the Master Craftsman for our official photos. Also, someone is quite the handsome fella. However, you really need a stylist in that last picture, Dale. You've got a few flyaways.

Anonymous said...

Oooo, what shade of lipstick are you wearing?

Anonymous said...

You are a very handsome young man, very James Dean in the middle and manly man with the beard on the top, I can not decide!

Anonymous said...

You're one hot 40-ish dude. I'm printing those photos and adding them to my Dale Shrine at once.

jin said...

That's really you?!!?
(The first 2 I mean! :-)

GLAD you shaved the beard, makes you look WAY younger even though it was 5 years earlier!!!

I happen to think that birdy is pretty damn cute! ;-)

I had to have 'passport tyoe' photos taken for the INS (my husband's from England)...I was MORTIFIED with how I looked! It seriously did NOT look like me! No wonder they never catch terrorists!

Anonymous said...

Dale, sorry this isn't for you.

Jin Jennifer, you're no terrorist. You're bewtiful! And your cakes are bewtiful, too!

I like cake. And after Dale shaved his beard off, I grew one.

Okay, no, I didn't...I make sure to shave it every day.

Dale said...

I rock the body that rocks the body or something like that Tanya. Bwaaaak.

Honestly Chelene, he's a wizened little genius and everyone should have access to him. I don't know why I pay all those hair and makeup people for. You're right - flyaways! Damn it!

It's a shade called Lip Service Old Lady. I often grow a beard in the winter but now it's pretty grey and does age me a fair bit. When I shave it off, I look days younger.

Watch the candles in the shrine Pink Fluffy, the light plays tricks (see photos of Dale).

Pretty hysterical Jin, about the terrorist thing.

Tanya, Coaster Punchman blogged about some of the delectable items he ordered from Jin, he raved about them! They do look so great.

justacoolcat said...

I can't wait for the 2008 pictures. If only I could turn photoshop into a genetic morphing time machine. hmmmmm

I hope berrets are in again.

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

You look really hot in Figure 3. That beak is snappin'!!

Anonymous said...

Well, what a relief! You don't look like a serial killer at all!

The third picture with the beak really becomes you ... So colorful! :)

Mob said...

Holy crap, those are great passport photos, I got mine in the mail only to realize that I'd somehow manged to shave a little too close and that my goatee is lopsided in the photo. My biggest fear then became that I'd need to have some sort of palsy or stroke to actually look like the man in the photo and get back into the country.

And fig. 3: Have you assumed some sort of rigorous tanning regimen?

In the interest of reciprocity, look here for a recent photo of yours truly, as well as a peek at what a costume wedding looks like.

I'm the priest.

Ben said...

By removing the 2000 beard you knocked 5 years off your look for the 2005 pic, and then the feather took about another 5 years off.

You now look about 15 Dale

Dale said...

I hope I'm smokin' by then Justa. Cigarettes I mean. I'm tired of being a quitter! When will they make them healthy?

You wouldn't believe what that beak can do Monkey! Well, maybe you would.

Does this mean you're taking confessions now Father Mob? If you're reading the blogs, I guess you are! Cool photo and I'm still chuckling about you thinking they might even let you back in to begin with.

Up close though Ben, I've got crow's feet. So now what do I do?

Coaster Punchman said...

If pic #1 were slightly scruffier and you wore glasses, you would look like this guy Glenn that Mindy & I know.

They always say "when you look like your passport picture, it's time to go home." I'm usually #3 by about day 2 of any family trip.

Nice pics.

Berry said...

Hmmm... I'm quite surprised. You never struck me as the flighty type.

Anonymous said...

wow! i didnt know the bumble bee man was such a hot piece of ass! rawr baby! lmao

you should have superimposed your head on the bumblebee man's body. :p

by the way.. your most current pic really brings out your sexy eyes. :p

Anonymous said...

I like what you've done with your brows in that last one, it really accentuates your eyes.

Seriously, though, you're a good lookin' guy! There should be no regets.

Anonymous said...

If I were a guy, I'd wanna look like you.

Cept for the beak.

But really, you sure have changed since you were 9, In a really good way. :-) I like the beard.

Grant Miller said...

I never would have posted my picture, until someone else beat me to it. You are a brave man. Do you sport the beard now or not? I'm always halfway in between because I am a lazy shaver. And blogger.

Grant Miller said...

Oops. I just realized the pictures are dated. Ignore the last question. Or don't. Your call.

Geeti Das said...

Woo-hoo! [Or however one transcribes a wolf-whistle.]

The guy in the first picture looks like he's about to go put up a hammock in the house, the second dude is making a profound and unsettling movie starring his girlfriend, and the third can sing "Feelings" in my piano bar anytime.

Dale said...

This Glen, if he cleaned up a little and went for the contacts, you know, he could look like me! It'd take a lot of work to get me to look like the photos so I might never leave CP!

Flighty and mighty Berry. What that means, I don't know.

I should ask Skincarver to do that for me shouldn't I Yasamin? He's a photoshopping genius isn't he? And thanks, it brings out my one good eye anyway doesn't it?

My regret is not looking like my photos Gizmorox. Except for the last one, I pull that one off every morning.

C'mon Bluez, you know you love the beak! :-)

I'm not so much brave as ridiculous Grant. Both of your photos were brave. How does it feel to be all human like now? I'm ignoring your question so you won't look stupid.

I know how to lay in a hammock Geeti and that's about it. I'm fascinated by your comment on me making a profound and unsettling movie and the last - that's pretty damned funny.

mellowlee said...

*laugh laugh laugh snort* I almost died when I got to the last picture. You kill me Dale! And those passport photos are AWESOME!

Geeti Das said...

Good lord, is that bird wearing a *parka*?!! I just noticed. Lmao...

Saviour Onassis said...

Now we know how cute you are......

Dale said...

Don't die on me now Lee, when that last feather hits the ground, I'm gonna need some love and support.

It's all natural Geeti, I never know what to wear to my photo shoots.

It's pure vanity Saviour, I know I'll never look that decent again. But thank you.

Anonymous said...

yeah you should! he could totally do taht for you!!! i would do it but im crappy and it would look like someone let a third grader play with photoshop. lol

red-dirt-girl said...

LOL Dale.........I mean I'm on the floor laughing my socks off........

I started out blogging posting my picture.....then I started getting weird comments, emails......finally I got spooked - some Columbian mafia type kept hounding me.......had to drop my blog and everything.....back to anonymity for me...

X. Dell said...

Hmm. Doesn't look like the same person.

And I thought you might be more bee-like in appearance.

blog Portland said...

Wow. I'd do you. You know, if I did guys.

You do realize that through the combined forces of our beards, we could easily rule the world. Well at least Canada.

Dale said...

If I took a stab at it Yas, it'd look more like the work of a 2nd grader, a very smelly 2nd grader.

You really shouldn't be wearing socks with those shoes Red Dirt Girl! I'm safe in the knowledge I don't look like the photos as one might expect. Once when I used my passport as i.d., the girl looked at it and double taked at me. I said, yes, I know, I look better in the photo!

New regulations for Canadian passports include No Smiling X. Dell. Honest they do. And 5 years had gone by so that might account for some of the change.

World domination I've got little time for Blog Portland, but Canada? What's that sound? It's the sound of me not shaving.

thetruthisthelight said...

Like my grandmother used to say, "Handsome is as Handsome Does". With that being said, you're not hard on the eyes, young feller! :P So don't be dissin yerself.

Jill said...

Nothing to do with this blog, but just been wondering, is tanya is your spouce or sibling?
Anyway, a thing is sure, Dale, you look way better than those picture when you were young!
And you have to change those picture if they are passport! You are not supposed to look that good in any ID picture!!!!

Jill said...

I am always amaze to see how a beard can change a man. It's look like almost 2 differents men.

Dale said...

I love dissing myself with truthiness though! It's okay, I've probably got too much self esteem. Or is it arrogance?

Haha, Tanya is a friend. We don't fight enough to be married and I still like her so we can't be related! And yes, the beard and 5 years make a big difference Jill. It's the photographer, Tanya knows as well, as pretty as she is, he always captures more on film.

SlayGirl said...

Hey, you are hot dude! Not bee suit man like at all.

Anonymous said...

Jill, I sometimes wish I was married or related to Dale, but I have to settle being his crummy friend. And since we've known each other for 17 years, I guess it does feel like we're married and related.

Instead I married a Quebecker and I'm going to keep him, since we've been together now for 12 years.

Also Jill, um...you didn't comment on how lovely and beautiful I am, so feel free to write a post about that on your blog. Think of it as a school project and I can send you more pictures and little anecdotes...maybe an audio sample or a hair clipping?

And Dale...Oh my Dale...If I'm as pretty as you, I'm happy! (of course, I really have to work every day at getting rid of my beard...)

Dale said...

Thanks Slaygirl, you're very sweet and clearly as beautiful as me.

You and Jill should get on like a French house on fire Tanya! Jill should write about you all the time. You know all my posts are about you and her right?

Anonymous said...

I'm the most self-centered person I know...

n.v. said...

Dale, I always knew I wanted you to chew me down there. You're handsome.

katie schwartz said...

damn potd, you're a sweet piece of ass, ainchya. someone's got pussy on tap, huh.

Dale said...

Tanya: No I am!

Careful N.V. I'm more like the 3rd photo now. Flattery will get you almost everywhere.

Jill said...

I'm laughing my self out right now, Dale and Tanya!!!
Tanya, I could put a blog about selfcenter people, it,s tru i already did!! Might consern you too Dale!!
And imagine, Dale, I'm french And An New-Brunswicker!!

Dale said...

That's why I love you Jill. Even though you're French, you're from Nouveau Brunswick, and that's okay!

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that it's 4:30AM and I am scouring your blog like a crack whore looking for craquƩ.

Based on the first two photos (number three is disqualified because I haven't seen a rooster like that walking around Toronto), you are one sweet n' sexy Dale! Yummers.

I prefer the pic from 2000. You've got a beautiful smile.

What really completes the picture, though, is knowing what a fun, intelligent, and nice person you are.

Dale said...

You're such a craque whore Angela and that's only a tiny bit of your expansive charm. I couldn't smile in picture 2 because of the new passport rules for Canadia. Stupid huh? Oh, and you're sweet. Thanks.

Valerie said...

All this time I've been picturing you in that Bumble Bee suit...dreams shattered...*sniff sniff*

Dale said...

All my life Valerie, disappointing one after another! haha. Bzzzzz

Dale said...

All this time later Katie I realized I skipped your comment. Pussy on tap is my middle name!! Haha.