On my walk home this dark evening, I was listening to the Herbie Hancock song Stitched Up.

As I neared home, I noticed there were Christmas lights strung up in the windows of the house next door.

I've variously described the lady who lives there with her bleached blonde hair as a pole dancer or hooker.

As I thought to myself, nice job on the lights hooker lady, John Mayer sang into my ear Girls like that don't sleep alone. Maybe he's smarter than he looks?


mellowlee said...

Im sorry, I can't stop laughing over "hooker lady" XD

Anonymous said...

Be nice to the hooker lady. Maybe she'll decorate YOUR place. (I'm always thinking, always thinking.)

Anonymous said...

Herbie Hancock, Hookers, red lights, Christmas. Yup, it all makes sense.

Dale said...

Hey pretty hooker lady, how much is that ahem, in the window?

You're one smart cat Zed. I never alienate anyone right away. When she waves hello, I just have to fight the urge to yell back Hey Hooker Lady!

Oh it's all there staring me right in the face PinkFluffySlippers.

Anonymous said...

Rumor has it Mayer's boinking Jessica Simpson these days, so he must be doing something right.

Anonymous said...

what is wrong with pole dancing- you get some seriously nice, strong thighs from that...

Bubs said...

I say you march over there and compliment that sweet woman on her decorations.

Mob said...

...Maybe he's smarter than he looks?

I sincerely doubt it.

Let hooker lady glitz up the house for the holidays, if nothing else it'll make for an interesting story.

Anonymous said...

eewww john mayer!!! ever see the movie animal house? you know during the toga party when john belushi is walking down the stairs and that acoustic guitar guy is strumming and makin the girls swoon?? thats john mayer. and jack johnson. and jason mraz. and all those other cheesy little wussy rock boys. :p can you tell i dont like them? regardless...

you know how belushi grabs the guitar and smashes it against the wall??? i want to do that every time i hear them. :p

maybe i need therapy. meh. been there done that.

happy hooker day.. wait. no.

Anonymous said...

But are they red lights on the hooker lady's house? Because that gives Christmas a whole new meaning.

And I don't deny that John Mayer is a cheesy "I want girls to like me" kind of rock boy. But the kid can play guitar.

red-dirt-girl said...

interesting neighbor you've got there Dale....oh I can't help but keep glancing up at your title: Passion of Dale - LOL

Not many wild neighbors out here in the burbs......except for that pilot across the street who is always watching me from his office window........creepy!

Must've been from that time when he and my buddy from next door came over and caught me walking nude through the house (peeking through the glass in the door)....boy was THAT the talk of the neighborhood --- no not me - THEM being the 'hood's peeping toms...I think they wanted to 'borrow' the lawn mower.....at 6 in the evening.....LOL!

Anonymous said...

I think J. Mayer's popularity is due to the fact that his music is similar to Michael Franks, at first.

Now my dear Dale, my mother always said that women that "look" like hooker generally aren't. Some of us just like to dress slutty.

Anonymous said...

Strippers, hoookers, and pornstars are not the same thing, though some members of each group are also members of the others. There are, however, many in each group who would never join the other groups out of principle.

My guess Dale is that your neighbor with the bleached hair is likely Annie Lennox who as far as I know is none of the above.

If someone can explain the song Roxanne to me, that would be great. Doesn't Sting have bleached blonde hair at times or is that more Billy Idol? Oh geez, I get really confused when I have to talk about pop stuff.

Anonymous said...

Last time I heard the song Roxanne, I watched people do a shot every time Sting sang "Roxanne" during the song. Can I just tell you how hammered these people got in 3 minutes? Next time you hear the song count the times he sings "Roxanne".

I can't hate John Mayer, BB King is his idol.

Grant Miller said...

I can whistle "Roxanne" so well you'll never want to hear Sting ever again.

X. Dell said...

If she really doesn't sleep alone, maybe your neighbor's smarter than she looks.

Actually, I've had many friends who were hookers and pole dancers. Not bad people in my experience.

Tumuli said...

Perhaps your neighbor decorates partially clothed, bathed in red light as she gyrates and molests a garland. Happy holidays, indeed.

Dale said...

If he has a thing with Ashlee too, who will want his sloppy Simpsons after that Johnny Yen?

Nothing at all Shroomy. I should have been more explicit in my description. Perhaps I should have said failed hooker or trashy plus sized pole dancer. You and your thighs are perfect, I can just feel them.

I would but her boyfriends might end up taking it the wrong way Bubs.

I waited for you Mob because I know of your abiding affection of all things John Mayer. I'm sure there will be a tale to tell before the season's up.

Haha, Yas, I like Jack Johnson although I'm not a huge fan of John's. I'll hand you the guitar so you can smash me in the head. And then we'll go out for hookers!

They're mostly red Giz but there's enough of a scattering of green (lights, not money) to make it legit. He can play, you're right.

Your neighbors sound creepier than mine Red Dirt Girl. Was it the mower they wanted or just to prune the bush? Couldn't stop myself.

Your mama was probably right Old Lady. I have no quarrel with either variety, the ones or the ones who just look like ones or any other ones for that matter. I'll look up Mr. Franks. No relation to Mayer is he? You know, Oscar? That smelled.

Sting or as I refer to him, Stink, has no place in this conversation Chancelucky. I'm all the smell that this place needs. I like your breakdown of the system there too. If it was Annie Lennox, I'd be over there trying to convince her to drop the restraining order all the time.

BB King is great isn't he Bluez? I only saw him live once but it was a treat. Your friends are drunks and that's okay.

What if I never wanted to hear him anyway Grant? Please audio blog this for us. George Michael does a great version of Roxanne although the red light he's signing about is probably a light on his dashboard that's keeping him awake.

Nobody's bad people X. Dell, except for the bad ones. I'm sure she's a smart gal, I'm just a smart ass as you know.

Tumuli, I love it when you get all confessional about your decorating secrets. Naughty!

Anonymous said...

'Popsicle Toes' was the song. Michael Franks was the first person I thought of when I first heard John Mayer.

Your jokes are funny any way they smell!

Anonymous said...

score! you're on!

wait... who's payin for this ??? lol

Ben said...

Did you venture in Dale ? Perhaps she wanted to "Rock It" with you ?

Beth said...

So why am I sleeping alone tonight?

justacoolcat said...

I prefer the older Herbie, "Inventions and Dimensions" is one of the best jazz piano albums ever as for hooker lady maybe her soundtrack is "Mr. Hands".

Jill said...

Didn't you ever heard the french expression "l'habit ne fait pas le moine?"(not really sure of the right translation the robe doesn't make the priest??)
And what is your definition of a "smart look"?

Dale said...

I've heard the Popsicle Toes song Old Lady. I'm hoping the follow up has nothing to do with Fudgesicles.

We'll have Blogger sponsor us Yas and we'll do it live on the net or something.

You always make me laugh Ben. Okay, not always but that was good.

Beth, I'm thinking it's either:
A) You don't settle.
B) You're not broke.

I don't know these musical references CoolCat but I may well inspectigate when I have a moment.

Interesting expression Jill and I know what you mean of course. Don't judge a book by it's cover. A smart look? Show me a photo of you and I'll break it down for you. :-)

Jill said...

Do you think I would trust a man that look like a crazy bird?

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