11/08/2006

Ball of Confusion

Remember the good old days? The days of the Little Miss Sunshine Contest? Ahh.

Lovely blogger Melinda June recently posted her late entry with explanation. Go see it and praise her like I do.

Her entry brought me back to some other good old days. It may have been the stripes on her brother's shirt that did it.

After I came back from my kidnapping stint in foster care, my mother's friend knitted me a sweater using the ends of many old skeins of yarn. The result was a sweater only Helen Keller could have appreciated. There were so many colours and beginnings and ends that none of it made any sense.

My mother called it my coat of many colours, not after the Dolly Parton song because that would be crass but after the biblical story of Joseph later to become a crowd pleasing musical starring Donny Osmond.

My saving grace is knowing that at the age of 6 1/2, you have very little say in what you get to wear and probably less concern about it. I think I may have even enjoyed wearing it. I don't recall ever seeing a photo of me in it but if I should scare one up, you'll be the second to know.

I wouldn't be caught dead in anything like it now. Unless of course, it cost hundreds of dollars and I'd seen it in the pages of Vanity Fair.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

If you listen to the Dolly Parton song, it's basically a take on "Joseph"'s story. But I like the biblical version better....especially when it's Donny who's doing the telling!

Beth said...

And David Beckham was wearing it. Now I know what to make you for Christmas ...

Dale said...

Of course you're correct Anonymous and I tweaked the wording a little bit. I had wanted to say that they were essentially the same but my mom would never quote Dolly Parton.

If I receive it early enough Beth, I know what to get you in return.

Mob said...

I giggled aloud at the Dolly reference.

The wife and her best gay buddy made a pilgrimage to Pigeon Forge Tennessee to Dollywood shortly before our marriage.

I hadn't thought about that song in years.

Melinda June said...

It sound like one of those things Bill Cosby used to wear. Or maybe he still does. Not up on my Bill Cosby fashion choices these days.

Thanks for fawning over me, by the way.

Johnny Yen said...

My wife and kids and I are going to do an "ugly sweater" christmas cards. We're rummaging through the resale shops to pose in ugly sweaters for our first annual family christmas card. Sounds like your sweater would have been a candidate.

Anonymous said...

I thought Danny Romoulati(Young & The Restless heartthrob) was in Joseph and the Technicolor Coat, glad Donny has a stint with it.

You don't wear Walmart mark down specials? Of course, those Armani suits do fit rather well! Nice material too!

As I crochet and do needlework, I am REAL careful about what I give people-I usually make afghans as gifts.

Ben said...

I would have paid you a dollar to wear it.

maybe us bloggers can have a collection

Anonymous said...

I'd wear David Bleckham.

Anonymous said...

OMG dale! lol mines so worse. my grandma crocheted blankets for all the grandkids (im the oldest) and forgot to make me one so she took all her scraps and made me this long ass lopsided blanket of many ugly colors. i looked at it ... smiled, knowing she had completely forgotten about me, and accepted it with loving arms.

god im bitter.

Berry said...

I think this entry is just an excuse to say things like "sweater" and "Dolly Parton" in the same post. Am I right? Am I right? (You horny devil, you)

Anomie-Atlanta said...

Wow....everytime I start feeling sorry for myself, I read about your childhood and it puts things in perspective.

Chancelucky said...

Dale,
what happened to the sweater?
When I was a kid, multi-colored sweaters (kind of knitted tie-dye) were sort of popular. At least I'd see it once in a while on other kids.

I'd probably agree that it was never a good idea, but it wasn't a complete fashion oddity.

justacoolcat said...

I'd like to see a play starring Dolly Parton's sweater puppets. Hopefully, the play would be called "Mouth Hug" and it'd take place at a sausage factory.

Coaster Punchman said...

I would like to see a photo of this "coat of many colors."

CP

Dale said...

I'd love to hear more about the Dollywood pilgrimage, I bet they had a hoot.

This one had buttons though MJ. How could I not fawn when you're such a dear?

Brilliant idea Johnny, I'd love to see the results.

So you're responsible for the current army of Afghans blanketing the South Old Lady?

You do enjoy a spectacle I think Ben. Okay, if you're offering a whole buck.

If you could get him away from that Spice rack, he'd be all yours Tanya.

Poor Yas. The only good thing there is that you didn't have to wear the blanket all over town (I hope). Feel free to be as bitter as you'd like but try and make it a part time thing.

How did you know I'm a sweater Berry? Very rude of you to bring up my perspiration issues. Man, I'm horny. And sweatery.

See all I do for you Anomie-Atlanta?

I'm not sure what became of it Chancelucky, I'll have to ask. It was horizontal colour stripes and quite hideous. I liked the way you tried to make it sound like it was alright - to see on other kids, haha.

I'll make some calls on that too Coolcat. You need some time alone now don't you?

Almost all of the incriminating photos are in my possession now CP but I'll check around for errant hideousness with the sibs.

Tumuli said...

I'd like to view it, in hopes that it pales in comparison to the monstrosities I once wore...

Anonymous said...

I think this is the Sweater.

Dale said...

Haha, that one's too nice Tanya!

Anonymous said...

oh my god tanya thats horrifying!!! lol

Circe said...

I would love to see a pic of that in all its splendor...
:)

Anonymous said...

Dale, Yasamin, thank you, I aim to please.

blog Portland said...

I have a couple of Cosby sweaters, one of which made even a transient on the bus give me a dollar. That smug bastard.

Dale said...

Tumuli - you have photos? Should we start another online contest?

Tanya and Yas - you're more twisted than me, hence the love.

Hello Circe! I'm searching for one (and praying it doesn't exist).

Poor BP, even a bum should know a buck doesn't get you anywhere. You're sad. But not as sad as a bum with money to throw around.

X. Dell said...

If you saw a technicolor dream sweater in the pages of Vantiy Fair then you'd have an easier time explaining it.

When I was a kid, though, I rebelled against wearing anything I didn't like, which made the transition to adulthood that much easier.

Dale said...

You were pretty rock n roll even as a child then huh X. Dell? More to admire about you.