10/02/2007

Generalists and Majors Uh Huh


Dear Human Resources Generalist,
When someone winks at you and gives you a lascivious smile at work and you're pretty sure they were instrumental in getting someone else fired for sexual harassment, what’s the protocol?
Confused,

Dale
xoxo

36 comments:

T said...

Is someone a he or a she?

He - Kick his ass.

She - Kiss her ass.

Problem(s) solved.

BeckEye said...

It's not quite that simple, t.

Is he/she ugly? If so, raise a fuss and have him/her fired.

Is he/she attractive? If so, giggle and wink back.

Bluez said...

it a ploy to get you fired.....

pistols at dawn said...

Slapping your man bindle down on their desk, and saying they don't have the balls to get you fired, too.

Toadee said...

sadly I am not in a position to advise as I have never been sexually harrassed despite numerous invitations to all and sundry

Suzel's Sass said...

1. Keep you foot in your own stalls' enclosure. This will prevent any confusion in the future.

Chancelucky said...

Dale,
if you want a serious answer to this one, though it'll be the American legal version, feel free to e-mail me.

Writeprocrastinator said...

Change your name to "The Gingerbread Man" and run as fast as you can.

Tenacious S said...

Dear Dale,
Extinguish that work-inappropriate behavior. This means no eye contact and no talking even if they pour it on hot and heavy. Good luck and watch your ass. This one sounds like trouble.

Signed,
The Behaviorist

katrocket said...

Is it the gum lady who didn't invite you to lunch?

Dale said...

It's a she but she's not my type T. I'll still kiss though if it means staying out of trouble. You're wise.

Ah, another important issue addressed Beckeye. She's attractive, I smiled back just to be sure.

There are so many other things they could get me on Bluez!

Man bindle? Hahaha, that's a new one Pistols. I'll try it but I'm going easy on the slapping part.

Poor Toadee, you're not trying hard enough I fear. Don't be afraid to pay.

Another make me snort comment Suzel. I'm keeping my feet to myself. For now.

Thanks Chancelucky. I don't think I'll need legal advice because she spends less time at work than I do.

Does that mean I get to eat my own gumdrop buttons WP? That sounded dirty but not as bad as the icing remark I'd whipped up.

She is trouble Tenacious S, I mean The Behaviorist and as always, I keep my distance.

This girl doesn't chew gum Katrocket but I think she knows how to spit people out.

chelene said...

Document in detail any instances of inappropriate behavior and keep a professional distance.

Also, sign her email address up for porn.

That last part may not be recommended but I'm all about spite.

Jill said...

Buy the person glasses!

Beth said...

Dear Lascivioused Dale:

Tattle.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Charge her with sexual harassment.

John Mutford said...

Maybe she has some freak eye spasm and that's what got the last guy in trouble. You could always pinch her and claim "Opposable Thumb Reflex Disorder" (OTRD)

Tanya Espanya said...

Where can I leave a comment about your podcast?

First of all, as I always say, you give great voice. You should be on the radio.

Secondly, how do we post our ludicrous conversations, the ones where we're laughing and honking?

X. Dell said...

You document the incidents and file your own harassment claim.

X. Dell said...

BTW, I didn't think that anyone still remembered XTC.

deadspot said...

Becks is faster than me.

Allison said...

I just noticed your podcast clip in the sidebar! You have what I would call a CBC radio voice. Very nice.

There is an insert in one of David Lynch's DVDs? Unless it provides me with the answers to Mulholland Drive, I think I shall pass. The man is still a genius though.

mellowlee said...

Haha, I like Chelene's comment. I second that. Ohhhh, you have a podcast??! Gonna go check that out!

Dale said...

Ah Chelene, after my own heart again! Spite is delicious!

Jill. May I say that you have finally done the unthinkable. You made me laugh.

Will you help me in drafting the complaint Beth?

Barbara, I don't want to turn you in so easily.

That sounds like a totally legit defense John, thank you for providing me the ammo I need.

Tanya, you just found a spot to comment and as always, you're much nicer to me than you need to be. As for our conversations, only the RCMP know for sure what we're on about during those calls.

Like many, you have it in for her X. Dell while I prefer to pity and avoid. XTC still rocks if you ask me.

It's okay Deadspot, Posh is thinner than me.

Must be something in the coffee I think Allison. Glad you liked the audio blip. There were some great moments in Mulholland Drive but it was a tad strange.

Just an audio clip over there on the sidebar Mel, hope you enjoy. Chelene makes sense most of the time doesn't she?

mellowlee said...

I actually added your podcast to my iGoogle, so now you must make more heehee!

Dale said...

Damn you Mellowlee! Now I will have to do more at least just for you. I'll try and work on something, maybe a series where in lieu of creative thought or writing, I read old posts to get me by.

Old Lady said...

In a loud voice say, "DID YOU JUST WINK? OR DO YOU HAVE A MUSCLE SPASM?"

Make sure everyone hears it.

Jill said...

Dale, it is the second time!!
You are getting old and losing your memory!!(And I think you use the same line last time!!)

Dale said...

Excellent strategizing Old Lady, there's safety in public.

I guess it's so rare you make me laugh that it always feels fresh and new Jill, like our love.

Jill said...

Do I need to worry about the bagel Korean Lady?

Dale said...

Yes, she can be vicious Jill, I'd watch your back.

Jill said...

DAle, I'm starting to really think that you start caring for what happen to me!!

Dale said...

We don't pay you to think Jill. Please stop at once.

Jill said...

So DAle, you misadress my paycheck, again!!!

Dale said...

I've taken you off the payroll.

Jill said...

I don.t do volunteer work for you, Dale!!! You,ll have to find a way to pay me!!

Dale said...

I'm paying you by continuing to answer your comments.