Baby It's Cold Inside

I work with some pretty decent people so when someone announces they’re leaving, it can be sad.

A guy who’s been on my team for about 2 years told us today that he’s resigning. It was all I could do to not jump up and down, whistle, clap and stomp my feet.

To put it in perspective, this is someone who has missed a lot of time leaving us to pick up his slack and who doesn’t seem to care much about the quality of his work when he is here.

So, I’m ready to throw a party and will now have time to redirect my animosity where it’s more needed.

Rather than a Congratulations card, I’m going to suggest we get him a Thank You card. Too cold?


larry h. said...

Wish I could say that I was resigning from my job. I'm actually getting the heave-ho in a few weeks. I could use the break. Interesting thing about this is that I've found it very liberating. The last few weeks I've been less than diplomatic with wanks. Especially this one chap that likes to micro-manage even though he's not a manager. Yep, when you've got very little to lose and you've embraced inevitability ... you become ... fearless. Quite interesting.

Anonymous said...

You posted this at 3:33 today.
The book I've written and am currently editing? It has 333 pages exactly!
HMV is at 333 Yonge Street.

Coincidence? I don't think so.

Ben Heller said...

I'd say a thankyou card definitely. Also a flag day and a 64 Cannon salute to wave him off with dignity.
That's what they did when the Titanic left anyway.

Dale said...

Glad you're looking at the bright side of it all Larry H. Hope you have some prospects lined up. There's always work for an evil parrot somewhere!

I've been trying for days to post something at exactly 3:33 Tanya so you'd figure it all out. Where do we go from here?

He'll sink himself so maybe just the card for now Ben. I'm saving the cannon for a really special day.

Jen said...

Thank you card- perfect!

There's an employee at my work
I loathe...
Everyday I pray that she quits
but I don't think
that day will ever come

but if it does
I'm getting her a thank you card!!!
- good idea!


Holly said...

I’m ready to throw a party and will now have time to redirect my animosity where it’s more needed.

I can't wait to see where that will be.

Creepy said...

Something must be in the air as someone I loathe was fired from my company today. Long distance toast to their departures!

Tenacious S said...

How about "Bon Voyage?" Have a nice trip. Don't come back.

Dale said...

Thand you for the thanks Jen. You'll thank yourself to buy a thank you for her if it ever happens.

Might be at my parents Holly; they're from away but dangerously close by this week as they visit their first great grandbaby. My spider sense is tingling.

Excellent, if we can get a little fear to go with our loathing, things'll really start looking up Creepy.

Indeed Ten-S. Someone suggested to him that he can always come back. I'm pretty sure there will be a huge red X on his file preventing that. I've got a marker at the reddy :-)

Beth said...

I believe Letitia Baldridge would support your choice of a thank-you card. Make us proud, Dale!

Old Lady said...

Discretion is the better part of valor. Be the gentleman that you are. Plus de choses changent, plus qu'ils restent la même chose, n'est pas?

Just pray his replacement is better!!

I am watching "Beauty and the Beast" en fracais.

Yasamin said...

we got this one guy a "have a nice life card". he was a complete jackass and i couldnt stand the guy. when he said he was leaving, it turned out i wasnt the only one. my pal found the card at some cheesy convenience store. i think it was like a Dear John card... you know... but it sufficed. We told him not to open it until he was in his car and leaving. lol it was great. we all piled up at the window behind our safely security protected doors and watched him read it in her car.

priceless my friend. priceless.

lulu said...

I bought a woman I used to work with a venus fly trap as a going away present. Plus I hummed "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead" repeatedly throughout the day. I don't think she caught on.

Mob said...

Send a condolence card to his new employers.

"Just what your finely oiled business-machine needs, five and a half feet of sand!"

X. Dell said...

I see. I believe you've posted on this individual before.

I don;t know if a thank you card is too cold. Around here, if we don't like someone, we secretly send out resumes on his behalf hoping to get him or her a better job.

Coaster Punchman said...

Stories like this make me upset, because I was once the man you describe in this post. I once worked somewhere where everyone hated me. It's horrible. It's like being the outcast in junior high. I'm still recovering from it and will post about it one day. Meanwhile, I've got the heebies.

Anonymous said...

I believe a swift kick in the ass as he exits would be the appropriate send off.....

Gretta James said...

lol I don't think you're cold enough. You have a warm heart Dale ;).


Anonymous said...

Roses are red
Violets are Blue.
Thank you for quitting
`Cause you never had a clue!

Dale said...

Alright Beth, but only because Letitia approves. I had to look her up but I'll never forget that face.

Of course you're right Old Lady. I hope the replacements (if we ever find any) are competent, nothing more or less. :-) Beauty and the Beast en francais? Magnifique!

I'm changing your name to Yasamean! I'm shocked and full of approval all at once.

Classic Lulu, perfect gift and I guess I'll be humming the same thing (see my next post).

My sister once gave me a card that said You, you're so low you'd bring me a dead rat in your teeth if you thought there was 20 bucks in it for you. We're a close knit group.

Like sands through the hourglass Mob. Of course, this guy was never in the office long enough for the sand to pass through.

That's quite a good idea X. I'll keep it in mind. And wonder why I get all these calls offering me work elsewhere.

Put your heebies away CP. He's quite a nice guy. It's just that he never did a lot of work and when he did, it was poorly done, there was a lot of missed time and although he was given plenty of assistance, he just was ineffective. We don't wish him any harm, we just need someone who's going to work at working.

Taken under advisement Ms. Monkey.

It's a part time warm heart Gretta.

I didn't quit. What? Har har Bluez.

Coaster Punchman said...

Hmmm... still sounds like me.... um, do we know each other?

Dale said...

I thought I knew you Coaster Punchman but it seems I'm going to have to consult your personnel file. I may be getting you mixed up with someone else.

SlayGirl said...

That must be the wanker who takes sick days off work when he is not sick that was pissing you off so much a while ago. Good riddance to him. Congratulations card to you. And the Thank you card idea is hysterical.

Second time today I've pictured David Spade from SNL saying "Bye-bye now...b-bye...I SAID B-BYE!!" As he is getting into his car on the last day say this while progressively breaking into a run towards his car and I don't think he'll be coming back.

Dale said...

Glad you laughed SG. Nice imagery and you're right - he won't be back.

Angela said...

You cold as ice, ice baby!
Looove the thank you card idea.

Dale said...

I can be cold or hot, just like a magic bag Angela!