Bagged and Snagged

The wondrous Angela tagged me and so did the almighty Skincarver and I enjoyed their answers along with the others I've seen around town so here goes.

1) Would you bungee jump?
**After seeing video footage of people conking their heads, no. I have parasailed though, that counts right?

2) If you could do anything in the world for a living what would it be?
**I’m already doing it: blogging and getting paid a cool million a year for it.

3) Your favorite fictional animal?
**The Shroom-Monkey.

4) One person who never fails to make you laugh?

5) When you were 12 years old what did you want to be when you grew up?

6) What is the first thing you do when you wake up in the morning?
**Wait for the alarm to sound and shut it off.

7) Have you ever gone to therapy?
**Only long enough to realize not everything can be blamed on your parents.

8) If you could have one super power what would it be?
**X-ray vision. For all the pervy reasons.

9) Your favorite cartoon character?
**Ralph Wiggum

10) Do you go to church?
**No but I worship at several blog altars.

11) What is your best childhood memory?
**My Dad lacing up my skates, the smell of my Mom’s bread baking and summers spent at the local pool.

12) Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
**Considering the lack of general sticktoitiveness all around, I propose a new ritual: if I decide you’re not really giving it a good go before splitting up, I get to shoot you in the head.

13) Do you own a gun?
**No, I abhor even the suggestion of violence.

14) Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
**Yes, but only with the butt of a gun.

15) Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people?
**Yep, and played guitar in the Junior Choir. If the devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack. I could have been one of the New Main Street Singers.

16) What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
**It changes from person to person and whether they’re wearing their default face or not. (I haven’t stopped thinking about the default face issue since Wonderturtle mentioned it).

17) What is your biggest mistake?
**That’s probably for others to answer rather than me. I think I’m doing okay.

18) Say something totally random about yourself.
**Did everyone take longest on this question? I purport to hate everyone and then hate myself because really, I need the people.

I’ve been told that red is my colour. A co-worker was going on at length once – look at my nail polish everyone, isn’t it the best? Don’t you love the shade? I just love the colour, don’t you just love it? Isn’t it just a fantastic shade of red? What do you think Dale? I think it really brings out the veins in your eyes. She saw red but in a different way.

19) Has anyone ever said that you looked like a celebrity?
**My mother told me once she thought I looked like John Travolta. Keep in mind she also pronounces the word as match-oh. Vicky once told me I looked like Don Knotts. She wishes I’d stop telling people this and just forget it but I can’t. I’m crying right now.

20) What is the most romantic thing someone of the opposite sex has done for you?
**Set me up with soft candlelight and knocked me down with crazy sex.

21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
**No, I only look at the pictures.

22) Is it wrong to not tag anyone?
**Yes it is but Dale but you know what you're like, not wanting to annoy anyone unless it's on purpose.

EDIT -- I decided to tag a few people after all like it or not. So, how's about Bubs, JustaCoolCat, PinkFluffySlippers, Creepy, Bre and Chelene. Go for it people.


Tumuli said...

"No but I worship at several blog altars."

Amen, brother. Consider me one of your eternal devotees.

Bubs said...

Brilliant and lovely

chelene said...

You're very funny when you're not pistol-whipping people, Dale.

Bre said...

Travolta and Knotts? oh no! You should do that myheritage dot com face recognizer thing and see who you really look like!

lulu said...

oh no, not myheritage I came out looking like Chiang Kai-shek and Ron Weasley.

justacoolcat said...

Not myheritage.My closest match was Michelle Pfeiffer and it also thought I looked like Kernal Ataturk

Dale, nice Ascott.

Yasamin said...

i just want you to know that once i read #'s 12 - 14, i almost spit ice cream out my nose.

thanks alot dale. really. lol

Dale said...

Can I get a witness?! Thanks Tumuli. Back at ya.

Hey Bubs, you're too kind.

Don't get out of hand Chelene or it's curtains for your orchids and then how will your garden grow?

Bre, I remember doing that a while back and it scared the crap out of me then. Maybe the time is right to do it again!

It's the freakiest program isn't it Lulu? I wasn't pleased with my results if I recall correctly.

Brandy you're a fine girl. I mean Coolcat, don't you fret. You look great in hats.

My pleasure Yasamin!

Yasamin said...

by the way... i do a mean ralph wiggum impression. i even used it on an online voiceover resume. :p

X. Dell said...

(1) You lead a funny life.

(2) Thanks for not taggingme.

(3) The love child of Don Knotts and John Travolta? Do you like natch-ohs too?

(4) Clubbing women over the head went out with the caveman days. But I'm happy to see that you can pick your knuckles off the floor long enough to grasp guns and similar objects. (I'm thinking that's perhaps too why you need the x-ray specs--that, and looking like Don Knott's and John Travolta's love child.)

(5) You said that when you were 12, you wanted to be 13. How close did you come to making it?

Mob said...

I really enjoyed the themed answers surrounding the gun issue.

Good stuff, my friend.

I'll seeya on Sunday, right after my late brunch.

n.v. said...

I adore you for a couple of reasons, but your answers to numbers 12, 13, and 14 are three new ones.

Anonymous said...

Bwahahahahah! That Don Knotts always cracks me up! Poor Vicky. But don't stop telling that story, it's too good!

Anonymous said...

Dale, my coffee wasn't really waking me up this morning until I inhaled it when I was laughing. Apparently a fine misting of caffeine in your lungs is the optimal delivery.

mellowlee said...

That was great Dale :) Do you know what your default face is? Mine is sad. I know this because people always ask me "What's wrong, you look sad" No brainer there. I love the default face theory, and now I can't stop thinking about it either, thanks Dale ;)

sKincarver said...

There's a good lad!
Although I'm having a hard time visualizing you. Anyone that can be mistaken for both Vinnie Barbarino and Barney Fife must be some kind of freakish shape-shifter.

Anonymous said...


Doesn't get more random than that!

Erik said...

Hmm, you know, your answer to #7 is exactly the reason I stopped going to therapy.

I see your altar is packed already, but I've got a handful of violets to leave anyway. Violets are ok, right? Or do I have to go find some virgins somewhere?

Jen said...

good answers

I like #9

"That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun."

- Ralph Wiggum

Anonymous said...

awwww Dale- I am your favorite fictional animal????

that is soooo sweet, I knew you lurved me!

Echo said...

Based on 12, 13, and 14, I'd have to guess that your favorite movie is Mr. & Mrs. Smith?

Coincidentally, at myheritage I was a cross between Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie with a touch of Grant Miller.... okay... I'm lying.... I was a cross between Yao Ming and Angelina Jolie with a touch of Grant Miller... okay... that's a stretch too... I was a cross between Yao Ming, Ruth Gordon and a labcoat... That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Angela said...

You're way too funny for your own good.

You're using that humour as a guise to cover up the real Dale, arent'cha? What are you hiding?!

Seriously, though. Wicked answers, you rock huge.

Thanks for humouring me and filling it out!

wonderturtle said...

Thanks for the props, man. The gun thing(s) made me laugh out loud.

Dale said...

You're totally invited to my next voiceover party Yasamin :-)

X.Dell -
A)I try to make it funny.
B)You're welcome, you're too busy with Jimi to play.
C)I resemeble Nachos and that's all you need to know.
E)Pretty close until you know...

Aw shoot Mob.

Thanks n.v. Every breath you take? I can smell from here. Lay off the Baba O'Riley Ganoush.

I'll never let her forget it Tanya.

Anytime someone uses the term optimal delivery system, I'm all in Anonymous.

Mine is a bit expressionless I think. I come to pretty quickly but I tend to go on autopilot or something Lee. My mom has one of those faces that if she's not actively smiling, everyone asks if she's mad. Poor old bat.

If I keep putting weight on that makes me some sort of shape shifter doesn't it Skincarver? I assure you I look not a bit like Vinnie or Barney.

Hey Bluez, I tried.

Erik, your spot is reserved now and always. I'll take the violets, I don't have time to break in the virgins right now.

Thanks Jen...Ralphie gets me every damned time.

Course I do Shroomy! You animal.

Echo, I definitely get the Ruth Gordon vibe from you. That sticking is coming from your lab coat. Mr & Mrs Grant Miller - now that'd be a movie.

Angela! I'm hiding so many things I'm starting to forget where I buried them. You're too kind as usual.

All hail Wonderturtle. Now that I've infected MellowLee with the default face thing, maybe I can move on with my life. And by the sounds of it, the gun violence sequence of replies was pretty popular. Bowing to the will of the people, this blog shall now be known as The Way Of The Dale.

Coaster Punchman said...

Don Knotts is hot.


Neil said...

Finally! Someone honest enough to pick x-ray vision. But do you see the person naked or just their skeleton?

Dale said...

Now I see why you wear glasses CP.

No skeleton stuff for me Neil. Layer one is to get through to the underwear and layer two nekkid.

Anonymous said...

I just NOW realized you didn't tag me. A girl could get a complex you know...I thought I was your number one beeyotch!

Don't bother now, I wouldn't answer your stupid thing anyway! (yes, I would, call me!)

SlayGirl said...

"21) Do you actually read these when other people fill them out?
**No, I only look at the pictures."

Based on that, I see that you are pervy...and you want to shoot Ralph Wiggum for picking his nose.

I am with Mel on the thanks for briging up the default face. I think my default face is an amused or smart ass one. People generally smile at me when I am spacing out or look at me like "what's so funny".

Angela said...

Too kind?! I can be a bitch, too!

You look terrible in that Bumblebee Man costume. And would it kill ya to crack a smile fer fuck's sake?? (Ptooie)