10/19/2006

Booksquirm

If I'm walking behind you and it's pedestrian rush hour and you keep slowing me down and then as I pass you I see that it's because you're walking while reading a book, you're fucking going down. I hate that shit.

I now return you to the sweetness and light that is Dale.

16 comments:

Beth said...

Kick 'em in the shins. Knock 'em down. I'll testify in your defense when you're prosecuted under the Good Samaritan law.

Anonymous said...

I hate those people!!

Berry said...

Ugh. I hate slow readers.

Anonymous said...

Ohhh I love angry Dale! what a fuckin turn on!

Say something else mean and nasty...

Chancelucky said...

This is what they have books on tape, mp3, CD for.

so instead of not seeing other people while "reading", they simply don't hear you.

Actually, I do most of my reading via audio book these days, but Dale,just warn me before you knock me over if I happen to be listening to a book in Toronto rush hour.

justacoolcat said...

You know I pay good money for people to slow you down while I follow in your footsteps.

It's a stalker thing.

chelene said...

Preach, brother! That shit drives me crazy, nuts, insane. You get the point.

jin said...

I have not ever seen that while walking, but I have seen it on the highway. Usually blondes in a minivan full of screaming brats.
(This is the midwest you know. I really don't fit in & I'm GLAD. :-)

Mob said...

I can recall a local Barnes & Noble employee that my petty group of droogs (including sKincarver) had dubbed The Book Troll, due to his slovenly appearance and scraggly beard and ponytail, who we nearly ran the fuck over one evening as he walked through a Best Buy parking lot (presumably on his way home from the nearby B&N) while reading a paperback book, completely oblivious to traffic and common sense.

Dale said...

Beth, you took me to a B52s Lava place with the opening of your comment so I think I'll be okay now.

Knock you in the head
Kick you in the lava bed


Me too Old Lady. I encourage reading, not stupidity.

And slow walkers too Berry.

Read this Shroomy.

I'd never interfere with your unobtrusive listening Chancelucky. Now if you were doing a portable slideshow and in my way...

It's still called paying it forward as long as I push them from behind right CC?

Oh, I get the picture Chelene. Only the picture's red and dripping in blood. Theirs.

I'm glad you don't fit in with that crowd too Jin. It's justifiable homicide on the highway I believe.

I love that Mob - completely oblivious to traffic and common sense. You should have gone back and tried again.

Ben Heller said...

What was the book ?

"How to piss pedestrians called Dale off"

I think you should have a regular Thursday rant.

Coaster Punchman said...

Just let it all out, Dale. We're here for you. If you want to deal with sidewalk frustration, try NYC during rush hour, especially in the Times Square area. I have made old ladies scream in fear when I run past them - they're afraid I'm trying to snatch purses or something worse. (When I seen an opening in the crowd I sprint to get away from the people.)

Dale said...

If I posted everything that pissed me off from day to day, I'd never stop typing Ben!

Thanks for the support CP. When all those shows let out into Times Square, it's like a crush of lunacy too. You said old ladies, scream and snatch in the same sentence, just wanted to point that out.

Anonymous said...

Reminds me of work, when two people stand in front of a doorway or a hallway and carry on a convo and won't move to let you through. I often suppress the urge to poke them in the eye or stick them with a fork in the neck. One time? I had a plastic fork in my hand, it was very tempting.

wonderturtle said...

Aw, no love for the engrossed dorks? I'd be much more angry at a slow cell phone texter.

Dale said...

Or at the top (or bottom) of an escalator Bluez. You should at least wave the plastic fork menacingly.

No love Wonderturtle. I'd probably just grab their phone, finish their message and hand it back. See? I can be nice.