10/22/2006

Luke I Am Your Father

I generally like giving to charity because it takes me off the hook from having to participate. Someday, someone'll cure something and I'll be able to turn my attentions elsewhere.

What bothers me is the number of requests that come at you from all sides. I know how it must feel for those poor lottery winners, only without the money.

So, I've decided that until they can cure Mouth Breathers, I'm done with the donations. Once you've got that under control, call me.

16 comments:

PinkFluffySlippers said...

I quit giving also. Couldn't stand how it got me on all the mail/phone solicitation lists. Maybe the solution is to mention the charities in your will, then by the time they figure out you're a 'giver' it will be too late to hit you up for more.

Anonymous said...

There is a cure, but who wants to walk around with cotton stuffed up their nose for days on end. Ewwwwww!

Anonymous said...

I stopped when someone called me and told me I never sent them their check, which was not true. He got hickey with me like a bill collector and I hung up on him.

Yasamin said...

hahaha!

The red cross, Jerrys kids, Susan G Koman... all a bunch of stalkers. thought i was doin a good thing. ended up being freakin stalked like crazy. every drop of mail they are telling me they need more money from my ass.

its totally understandable for one... but not 50 of them. i hate getting letters in the mail from them. more address labels i will never use.

Coaster Punchman said...

I like how the charity giving thing also turns into tit for tat. I almost always give to my friends' causes when they solicit me online. But if they don't reply with a "thank you for donating to my cause" it annoys me. Double so when they haven't donated to mine. Grrr.

Oh wait, this was supposed to be about the charity work, right? But I say, never turn down a good reason to get into a fight.

CP

Anonymous said...

I am really picky about my giving because some of them just keep coming at you. I've had them call me and harass me about when I'll send them money. Ugh.

Berry said...

Um... I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that you're aware of the other definition of Mouth Breathers.

And if that's true, and they do find a cure for morons, then I will need to find other people to make fun of.

Dale said...

Not a bad idea PFS! I still do give, I just hate the shilling all the time.

They're a wily bunch Old Lady, the mouth breathers and the canvassers.

Maybe if they put a few of the kids up on a Red Cross and named them all Susan, I'd give more but for now, no.

Thank you for sending me all your money Coaster Punchman. Will that get me anything?

It can get pretty ridiculous Young Mom. I like your hat. Margaret Smith, the comic, used to do a routine about bill collectors where she'd explain to her calling creditors I put all your names in a hat each month to decide who to pay. You call me once more and you're out of the hat. Might be adaptable here.

I'm not sure what you mean Berry. I was talking about those dolts who walk around with their mouths hanging open like they don't know they can breathe through their noses. Sort of like people whose lips moved while they read. All very serious causes.

X. Dell said...

You'll save a lot of money that way.

haahnster said...

As long as there are fans of the Iowa Hawkeyes, there will be mouth-breathers.

If you don't respond to charities' solicitations, where else do you get those lovely return-address labels?

Berry said...

Dale, the slang definition of a "Mouth Breather" is a moron; a total idiot.

See? There was a double-entendre to your post and you didn't even know it! How cool is that?

Dale said...

The more money I'll have to fund your research X. Dell.

I hold the foot and mouth painters at brushpoint and make them do them for me Haahnster.

I think you may be a Mouth Breather Berry and you're just trying to hide the pain in your comments.

Anonymous said...

Ohh I don't donate shit to no one. Maybe the Kidney foundation gets my old clothes and broken dishes and that is only because I am too lazy to haul it away myself. Too much goodness in the world- we need more selfishness and self centered people. What we gonna do with all this harmony and shit??? blahh......

Dale said...

Wrap the harmony and shit up in the old clothes you're giving to the kidney kids Shroom-Monkey.

Mob said...

This is probably something I should address on my own blog, but speaking of giving to charity, what I'd like to know is who the hell I gave money to that got me on the mailing list for junk mail from a local hospital about how they can cryogenically freeze my sperm or the wife's eggs.

Now I'm curious who gave them my name and what they know that I don't.

Dale said...

It was me Mob, I gave them the info. I do stuff like that.