6/05/2006

Judge Not Lest Ye Be Judged

Yeah, I don’t buy that. I’m above reproach.

A gentleman at work is retiring. For that reason alone, I feel the need to register some disdain.

I don’t know him well but some people I work with have regular dealings with him. He’s generally regarded as efficient and nice (two qualities not often found around here).

On Friday last, he was taken to lunch by two women I work with. At this lunch, he produced gifts for each of them. Well, not so much gifts as corsages. Yes, corsages. One rose, some freesia and a bit of greenery.

Let me break this down. These women are in their early 40’s and not on their way to the prom. It was a casual Friday which around here practically means cutoffs and a tank top. Are you ready boobs? Start walking! Let’s just say these tasty little garnishes looked even more wildly out of place than they would have at any other time through the week.

With as much dignity as they could muster, they ate lunch, enjoyed and finished lunch and walked about 2 blocks back to work with their fella. They stood behind me at my desk until I noticed and let me be the one to honk , point, laugh, gesture and draw everyone else around so I could belittle the whole situation.

I did make it abundantly clear to everyone that it was the sweetest and most genuine gesture I’d seen in a long time but again, so ridiculous that it couldn’t go without commentary. Everyone else agreed it was sweet and not at all insane.

Of course, I wouldn’t want to embarass their benefactor or make him feel anything less than the giving soul he is so I’ll just say Happy Retirment Bill Jones! You big lug.

21 comments:

Monkey McWearingChaps said...

I wish I had started reading this blog sooner. You are a bad man.

Dale said...

Why thank you, yes I am. A little bad is sort of like only being a part time asshole isn't it? I can live with that.

Reese said...

I picture all the old men you work with to look like Jack Nicholson in "About Schmidt." Am I wrong?

Fuck You Google said...

Great blog, man.

You rock Dale!

Dale said...

They all do look like Jack Schmidt Reese but I'm younger and look like a handsome Kathy Bates. Although her stubble's thicker.

Thanks chaptechie. I think I know your sister chapstickie.

Mob said...

Props for knowing what Freesia is.

Nice gesture, but what a bizarre gift? Why not a flower for their desk, or a plant, something slightly less out of synch with the times?

Dale said...

Freesia is when you smoke cocaine isn't it? It's so smelly and good.

He's just an olde tyme kind of guy.

Dale said...

And a freak.

A. Estella Sassypants said...

Wow. Corsages are pretty hardcore. He might buy them a milkshake and take them to the sock hop next.

Dale said...

A rose is a rose is a what the fuck am I wearing? I know.

Bre said...

I feel as though someone should give me flowers to wear on a daily basis... but I feel a lot of things like that that don't actually happen...

it is very sweet thought!

Saviour Onassis said...

"Are you ready boobs? Start walking!"LOL!

The last gift I received from a co-worker (my boss, actually) was an nice old-fashioned iTunes gift card, with a note that said: "I hope you download something nice, dear."

Robert said...

That picture is the most hideous corsage I’ve ever seen. And that dress! Scoop neck and pin cushion shoulders! For the sweet love! But it’s lovely, tight skin around the neck, and, for that, we can all be thankful.

Dale said...

I feel a lot of things should happen to but I still end up at work anyway Bre.

Saviour, I want your boss. Not in that way. In the iTunes way.

Half the people here dress like they're unemployed, half like they're heading for a nightclub and the third half like me, impeccably.

Robert, I'll be right back, I have to call someone.

Reese said...

Oo-ee. look at those booteeful fwowers

justacoolcat said...

Did someone say free food?

Dale said...

Your flowers are in the mail Reese.

The food is in the mail CoolCat.

justacoolcat said...

I hope it's liver and onions.

Nothing makes for a story like Canadian mailed liver and onions.

Dale said...

I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. Don't get me wrong, I like the liver and onions, just not the thought of them after shipping.

Holly said...

At least they weren't wrist corsages.

Dale said...

I wondered if that would have been better or worse Holly!
Welcome back and I hope that the sea sickness has passed. I'll check your chart later!